Monday, October 31, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
1. Cate’s hair was blue for her brothers wedding last weekend
2. Jootatic’s boyfriend loves Tapered Pants
3. Pink Kitty’s boyfriend is in a band.
4. Trish is having a tough time selling her house
5. Martin’s mouth is exploding
6. I’m pretty sure Lint failed in his quest to take a picture drinking a pint in every pub in York.
7. Burfica’s sick. Or at least she was. (Physically)
8. Alekx barely blogs anymore
9. Giselle’s getting hitched. It won’t work. At least that’s what she’s told.
10. Sometimes I wonder if Madison isn’t the dog he usually makes himself out to be.
11. Chick has the best quality HNT pictures on the market. And I knew her before she became a star. Well, I didn’t know her, but well, read her.
12. Paul hates Jesus
13. Angie’s in love. Maybe?
14. It seems like every post she has the days, OGO, apologizes for being out of whack. Don’t apologize.
15. Ho loves Mexicans. But not the gay ones.
16. Chris wrote a script which is being made into a kick ass film
17. QOP is getting tons of booty lately
18. Amy claims Vermont is a real state
19. I think Steph likes tequila
20. I don’t know how Filan is still single
21. Melissa’s boobs are growing while her waist is shrinking
22. Min’s back!
23. Libby’s husband’s back from Iraq!
24. Jake was on mtv’s road rules
25. Marisa’s Married. Ha!
26. Popfizz loves pron as much as me.
27. Conti likes the Astros. So, he can’t be too happy right now.
28. Funqi never blogs anymore either
29. Nor does Cindy
30. Candi looves military men
31. Sean acts gay for his girlfriend
32. Britni’s not shy
33. Cindy-Lou’s son looks like the man
34. Julia’s apparently not very good at poker
35. 30Something cleans up business nice, but Halloween brings out the real her.
36. Heather’s a Falcons fan. Boooo!
37. HappyKap runs. A lot. And it shows. She’s got a hot bod.
38. Tina kinda likes Laguna Beach
39. RitMeyer is 5 days smoke-free. I hope.
40. Lulu is one of only a handful of readers that has emailed me out of the blue. She’s cool. And funny.
41. I think Wendi likes sangria.
42. I bet Samantha’s hot
43. Kayde hasn’t updated her blog in months
44. Neil’s the newest of my daily blogs to read
45. monkey got some and gave some
Monday, October 24, 2005
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
A little over a year ago, a sports radio guy got suspended from the air and started a blog in the meantime. I used to read that and one day noticed the Next Blog button. I clicked on that button about 5000 times. Always falling on some crappy blog. Until one day I landed on a blog post about how brushing your teeth with vanilla mint toothpaste tastes like brushing your teeth with frosting. It was genius.
After giving it a thought or two, I started my own blog. Did you know my original blog title was “I’m Less Interesting Than You!”? Cate and Pink Kitty were reading immediately and that was enough for me to keep going. In a stroke of pure luck, the day after I started my blog Ashlee Simpson was on SNL.
My blog continued and I got another reader or two when I realized I actually might be more interesting than some people, so I changed my title to the classic Billy Madison line it currently is. (And it took me another 6 months to realize I spelled Chloraphil wrong… but I’m not changing it).
Right around the time I came up with the name Titso, (which stands for Tim’s Insanely Terrific Special One), on a particularly uncreative day, I posted my original Starburst Pron. It was enjoyed and it has been a running theme ever since… and I promise more when I get my camera back.
I posted more crap everyday until one day I actually posted something serious. I was asking Titso to marry me.
It worked, and we got hitched
And we made a baby.
And here I am now. Posting more crap everyday, enjoying your comments just as much as I enjoy writing the shit that I do. I promise I will try to make this next year just as mind numbing as the first!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
(on a serious note, send good thoughts my way today please)
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
B aby on the way
C eriously. Titso’s pregnant already
D addy Timmy
E xcited. Nervous. In over my head.
G ay. I apparently am not.
H oneymoon pregnancy?
I nsider information this is.
J ust want it to be a healthy boy
K idding. I don’t care.
L ong nine moths it will be
M ay 21st due date
N ine weeks along now.
O h my God, oh my God, oh my God: All my mom could say.
P robably not going to find out the sex of it
Q uiet please
R eally, quiet. We’re not telling anyone except our parents.
S uper sperm I have
T itso pregnant: what I’m being for Halloween to tell friends.
U ltrasound: had one a few weeks ago when we thought it might be ectopic.
V ery sick, all the time, she is. But, the baby seems ok.
W edding weekend pregnancy?
X is a letter I can’t come up with anything for
Y ou try
Z zzzzzz’s: what I need to catch up on.
So yes, it’s true. Titso’s pregnant already. We told our parents this weekend, but we’re holding off on telling anyone else for a few more weeks. Since no one I actually know reads this I figured I could talk about it now. Though I promise this will not become a baby blog.
It’s funny how I’ve only actually talked about sex I’ve had once or twice here, and it most likely was the time she got pregnant. Either then, or the very beginning of the honeymoon. Titso was on the pill for 12 years, so we thought it would take a while for her body to adjust and we planned on using the natural planning method for about 6 months to a year, then trying. Apparently that method doesn’t work too well. My super sperm attacks all eggs in the tri state area. Maybe waiting a month before marriage wasn’t the best idea in the world.
Anyway, we were upset and pissed at first. But, we’ve known for a month and we’re definitely happy now. Titso was in a really bad car accident a few years ago and her liver split and they said they weren’t sure if she could ever get pregnant, so I’ve felt blessed from the beginning that it happened. She’s coming around now. As long as my kid is cute, I don’t think I’ll have to throw it out.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Thank you for celebrating our wedding with us. Also, thank you for the very generous gift. Your gift will go a long way in helping us establish our child slavery ring on the black market. Love OD and Titso
Thank you for celebrating our wedding with us. Also, thank you for the very generous gift. We’ve invested your gift wisely. In Doritos. A year’s supply. Love, Od and Titso.
Now I need about 10 more and I can’t think. I could repeat, but I hate uncreativity. Besides Sean’s prostitution ring suggestion (which I modified to be child slavery), what do you have for me? please? I'll be your best friend.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
This is my favorite picture of me ever. My parents used to go to this park and I would spend hours at this water fountain trying to drink out of it. My parents would just sit back and laugh at me. Every once in a while a random adult would walk by and lift me up for a drink.
The tattoo? Well, that was just a mistake I made as a crazy young kid. I got that removed a few years ago.
It's quite staggering how many blogs are out there. It's even more awe-inspiring when you realize how many there are that are way more better than your own. Yes, I said "way more better". Some people just lead more interesting lives and have a knack for conveying those lives in interesting and humorous ways. And they have lots of readers, too. Color me envious.
I'd like to share something interesting I found today. It's from Tim..... I haven't read a lot of his blog, and his glib homophobic tone in the top Tuesday post isn't funny to me like it might be to a 20 year old college sophomore, but I find this post very creative, funny, and fruity (?). Enjoy.
Would you be hypothetically flattered? Or hypothetically insulted? Because, ya know, you readers who commented on Tuesday's post would hypothetically be glib, homophobic, 20 year olds. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
I'm writing thank you cards for my wedding right now. this is what they look like.
I'm very mature.
These are the two I have completed thus far:
Steve and Angie, Thank you for being part of our wedding. Also, thank you for the very generous gift. We will be wisely investing it to ensure a happy life together. And by that I mean we will be buying lots and lots of beer. Love, OD and Titso
Steve and Mare, Thank you for being part of our wedding. Also, thank you for the very generous gift. We will use it to ensure a happy life together. And we will be ensured a happy life by purchasing about 4 pounds of weed. Love, OD and Titso
Jack and Shannon, Thank you for celebrating our wedding with us. Also, thank you for the very generous gift. We're throwing it right in the gutter. Literally. We're going bowling. 50 straight games. Love, OD and Titso
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
This weekend I was officially old. The best part of my weekend was watching tv. No bars, no heavy drinking, no intravenous drugs. My life has gotten boring. I rented the 1st 6 episodes of Arrested Development. If you’re not watching this show, start. It’s the best comedy on tv. Right next to The Office and Curb your Enthusiasm. Don’t be a loser, just watch. It will make you feel good. Like intravenous drugs.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Ok, go to Google.
Type in "(your name) needs" Remember to us the quotes.
Look at the 5 websites that say you need something. (Use different websites)
What are the 5 things you need?
Tim needs your love, just like any young man his age (aka. handjobs)
Tim needs to offer more respect to you, the readers. (Fuck that)
Tim needs to know that his actions are going to land him in the gutter -- literally. (already there)
Tim needs to eat every two hours! (and your point is...?)Tim needs to swear off at least the following words forever: "sun", "soon", "crucifix", "go", "you", and about a half a dozen others the way a wino needs to swear off Boones Farm. (mmm.. Boones Farm)
I was very pissed off the other day when they announced she was pregnant because they stole my thunder. I was going to announce I was pregnant that day. At least I think I’m pregnant. That would be the only explanation for the growth of my stomach since marriage.
Then, last night I heard about the Scientologist method of childbirth:
Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go. And the maintaining of silence does not mean a volley of "Sh's," for those make stammerers.
I actually agree with this method of childbirth. I wouldn’t want to see what comes out of this mouth either:
And the post childbirth Scientologist tradition:
Next, the delivery itself should carry as little anaesthetic as possible, be as calm and no-talk as possible and the baby should not be bathed or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so.
Well, I’ve got nothing for that, that’s just retarded.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Does my page take too long to load because of all this crap? If so, I'll get rid of the picture links.
Do I not link to you and I should? Please provide 3 reasons I should and your favorite zoo animal and I may reconsider.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Every kid in my neighborhood was riding his or her bike around. Is today Stay Home From School today? And why didn’t anyone tell me?
Monday, October 03, 2005
- I liked 40 Year Old Virgin better
- Watched Philles do what they needed to do to make the playoffs
- Didn’t help.
- Fuck you Houston.
- Watched Eagles get blown out in 1st half.
- Passed out drunk
- Didn’t see comeback
- Took a walk in the woods with Titso
- Got laid in the woods like a 16 year old with no where else to go
- Not that I'd know what that is since I didn't get laid till college.