Chloraphil?? More like Bore-a-phil!

Chilly Cheeks 2012

2012-01-17T12:12:00.002-05:00

On Sunday I ran the Chilly Cheeks 7 mile trail race. I did this race last year when the trails were covered with a few inches of snow. The footing last year was poor and I wasn't in as good of condition as I am this year so I didn't try to run as hard last year. In road races I generally finish in the top 5%, and trail races I'm closer to top 10-15%. I decided to try to change that and took off like a bat out of hell. A quarter mile into the race there's a free for all up a hill. I was probably in about about 20th place up that hill (out of 580), and when I started down the street to the next trail it felt like I was kicked in the gut. That feeling would stick with me for the next 7 miles. Whether it was the 15 degree weather or the fact that I'm not in as good of hill shape as I think I am, it didn't matter, I hurt. But, I wasn't about to slow down.
Without snow on the trails this year, I was surprised to find just how rocky the trails are. About 2.5 miles in I felt like my socks were bunched up in my shoes, but it turns out my feet were just starting to swell a little from taking the rocks too hard in shoes that probably don't have a rock plate (Adidas Marathon Trail). At 5 miles in there's the first flat stretch of the race where I was able to get my legs back and aim for people to pass. But, when you're running with the front of the pack, you can't easily catch someone 200 yards ahead of you. And when we hit the single track again I unfortunately followed them about 50 yards off course (straight down a hill of course). After climbing Mt. Whadafug (my 4th or 5th hill having to walk up) I knew it was all downhill from there. I flew down 600 feet of elevation over the next mile trying not to blink which would have resulted in a tumble. I ended up in 33rd place with a time of 1:01:something. 18 minutes and 54 places better than last year.
It's amazing how when I run a race like this I, and my legs are trembling beneath me as I trudge up another hill I question why I even do this. But, as soon as it's over I start planning on how I can do better next year.
The rocks beneath my feet were like that for about 70% of the trail.

Loooong Run

2012-01-10T10:45:00.000-05:00

By way of training site DailyMile I found out about a "Fat Ass Run" taking place just down the street from my house - Kent and BJ's Recover from the Holiday 50K. I'd never heard of a Fat Ass event. A Fat Ass is a no-frills "race". No awards, no spectators, no bibs, but best of all no entry fee. Bring your own water/food/gatorade. Kent was one of the originators of Fat Ass, and this was his 27th annual event. It was being run on the Perkiomen Trail, where I do a lot of my running. The course was a 10K loop starting/ending from his garage just off the trail. After each loop runners wrote down their times on a poster board and decided whether to continue on, or stop and drink beers and eat the smorgasbord of food provided by Kent and other runners.. I believe this was the largest running on record with around 50 runners out there.

I started with another runner I "know" through DailyMile. We got caught up behind a large group of runners going much slower than we planned, so after about a mile we passed them and ran our own paces. John took off on me and I settled in to a pace that I figured would catch the next group of people in front of me within the next few miles. Around mile 5 I caught up with them, and then that group dispersed. After the first loop John continued on together over most of the first 30K. 30K was my goal given my recent injuries. My previous long run since the marathon was 15 miles... but those were trail miles. So, after 18.6 miles on the flat Perkiomen trail I was at just about 2.5 hours of running, which matched my 15 trail mile time. I was feeling fine except for a little blistering, so I headed out for a 4th loop after a stop at my car for a change of shoes. Around 20.5 miles into the run I really started to feel the miles in my legs. At this time there was no more than a handful of people that chose to run more than 30K so I was pretty much on my own. I had just put on my iPod for the first time all day, and with my music, and comfort with the route I've run 100 times I cruised fairly comfortably into my longest training run ever - 24.8 miles. Two days later I feel pretty ok. A great confidence booster in my HatRun training.

When I finished most of the other runners were inside enjoying lunch and beers. They all knew each other pretty well and my introvertedness prevented me from feeling comfortable there, but it was a great day all around.

Garmin data - http://connect.garmin.com/activity/140036750

Jingle Jog 5K (Collegeville PA)

2011-12-05T11:09:00.001-05:00

After only running 4 miles all week to rest my hurting foot, I didn't have too high of expectations for my first 5K in about 6 months. But, I couldn't pass up a race in my home town when I had nothing better to do. With around 200 people behind me I toed the line, expecting a top 10 finish. In most road races lately I aim to finish in the top 5-10% of all finishers. I'm not quite as good at trail racing (yet).

Within a quarter mile the front of the race thinned out to the guy who I could tell would win it all, and a group of about 5 of us separated by about 20 yards. I was third in this bunch with a 16 year old kid just in front of me. He was wearing headphones, a sweatshirt, loose calf-high socks, with ratty black sneakers. All tell tale signs of one of those kids who starts the race in front and finishes about 15 minutes behind. So, I kept at striking distance. But, he refused to fade. He stayed within striking distance of the 2nd place runner in front of him. We stayed in this order until hitting the last mile on the perkiomen trail, with my second mile split matching the first - 6:02. I didn't care much about my time at that point. I was focused on catching and beating these two. I've run this stretch of the perkimoen a million times so I was confident with what the last mile had in store. I quickened my stride at this point, and passed the kid with about 3/4 to go. I kept that up and took over 2nd place with a half mile left. I kept this pace and slowly didn't hear him right behind me anymore. Kym and the kids were waiting about 50 yards from the finish and Kym screamed to me that he was going to catch me. An all out sprint to the end, and I kept my lead. We both finished in 18:25. A PR for me by 64 seconds.

I followed this up with a trail run Sunday morning. I fell harder than I ever have, bashing my knee. I'm hoping it's just superficial, but it doesn't feel too good walking today.

Dirty Bird 15K

2011-12-05T11:08:00.000-05:00

One week removed from the Philly Marathon I ran the Dirty Bird 15K. I ran the race last year, so I was more prepared for the difficulty of the hills. At least mentally. After a half mile of road, the race turns into the woods and goes straight uphill for a mile. I did my best to get towards the front of the pack before entering the woods as it's very difficult to make any passes in that first uphill. The crowd I started with was a perfect pace for me. Little need to pass or get passed. The next section is straight back downhill and very rocky. I would venture to guess it was somewhere in here that I hurt my foot, but didn't really notice. I actually didn't even know I hurt my foot until the next day and was gimpy for much of the following week. I'm not even sure if it was a real injury or I just tied my shoes too tight. But, anyway, the next few miles of the race are less eventful. Smaller hills where I was passing people on the uphills and getting passed on the downhills. Around mile 5 there's a series of 3 steep climbs and decends. On the second set of inclines I ended up passing all those that were passing me on the downhills for good. The marathon training definitely built a good base to not have to do any walking for a 9 mile race, regardless of how steep these hills were (and they're steep!). With about a quarter mile left I missed a turn and got passed when I had to backtrack about 20 yards. I cut 14 minutes off my time and ended up in 25th place, compared to 148th last year.

Below is my gps of the course elevation changes:

Hitting the Wall

2011-11-22T15:37:00.000-05:00

I finished the Philadelphia marathon in a time of 3:18:02. I'm happy with my time, not as much by my performance. I struggled mentally for much of the race, thinking way too much about my splits. It was my third marathon, missing my "A" goal for the third time. Coming away from it, I know that if I ever do another one I need to add in longer training runs. Not distance-wise, but longer times running. All 3 of my 20 miles runs were completed in around 2 hours and 40 minutes. This is just about the time of the marathon where I fell apart the most.

Which brings me to what I want to write thoughts about "hitting the wall"

- The "wall" is not a wall. A wall can be overcome, and then it's in your rearview. When running a marathon, the wall is about 8 miles long. You can rid your mind of thoughts of failure and pain, then 1/4 mile further along, they come back. Fighting through the wall is a 10K process.

- No, it's not a 10K thing. I didn't suddenly hit a breaking point at mile marker 20. Maybe I should have adjusted my gameplan to think of the last 10K as it's own race, but I've never run a 10K. Let alone run one after running 20 miles, so that's kind of a stupid gameplan if you ask me.

- Irrational thoughts run amazingly rampid when you start to break down. Mine included -
- "Look at these people going the other direction. They're so fresh! They're 10 miles behind me, but they'll all probably feel great when they reach mile 24. So lucky!"
- "My toes are killing me. I've never run barefoot, but I think I could do really well running barefoot for these last 3 miles."
- "What's going to get me through this last mile and a half is to stop and do a quad stretch I haven't done in about 2 years" (hamstring nearly exploded)
- "I'm so pissed right now that these last few miles were so clearly mismeasured. Each mile is at least 2 miles in reality."
- "I hate everyone."

Marathon goals

2011-11-06T21:49:00.000-05:00

Two weeks out from the marathon, so I think it's time to set goals for myself.

A+ goal: 1) Stay mentally light the entire race. 26.2 miles of having fun running. Having fun for me means going fast, and going fast easily. Never stressing about a split, but knowing the splits are where I'd like them to be. 2) under 3:09:59

B+ Goal: 1)Stay mentally light for as long as possible Push through the wall. Finish hard. 2) 3:15

B goal: Stay focused the entire race. Finish under 3:20

C goal: Under 3:25

D goal: Under 3:30

F goal: 1) Don't get taken away in an ambulance 2) Don't fall on ice/curbs/stray racoons. 3) Don't cry out of disappointment.

Runner's tonenails

2011-10-03T12:55:00.000-04:00

I ran my first 20 miler (at a pace faster than I'd ever expected) on Saturday and I'm sad to report to those that were around 4 years ago that I'm not yet losing any toenails. As soon as I peel one away I'll be sure to post pictures again.

I ended up running 55 miles last week, and finished September off with 184 miles. 44 more than any other month I've done. I hope to hit 200 miles this month, though I bagged today's lunch run because I'm too damn tired from the Phillies and Eagles sucking.

training

2011-09-26T15:14:00.000-04:00

Saturday morning my parents picked up the kids and I went out for a 19 mile run. It wasn't easy. The weather in the Philly area is not yet being marathon friendly as it was about 75 degrees with 100% humidity. This week I'm scheduled to have my biggest week ever - 50 total miles with a 20 miler on Saturday. REALLY hoping the weather cools down as they say it will.

I just went back and looked at some of my posts during my runstreak and figured out that since March I've lost 16.5 pounds. None of my pants fit me anymore and I'm way too lazy to go buy new ones. I'll probably just start tying them around my waist with an extension cord as my belts don't fit either.

It can't all be wedding cake

2011-09-19T11:24:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I ran the best race of my life. A half marathon that I ran 8 minutes faster than I ever have before. I'm still kind of on an emotional high about it.

Tomorrow could be one of the longest days of my life. Kym will be undergoing surgery to remove a tumor from her parotid gland. She/we will be detailing her journey here

Praying for a full recovery.

It's your fault

2011-09-06T23:00:00.001-04:00

Anyone still got my blog in their feeds? If so, remember that time I live-blogged me ripping my toenails off? Then bonked during a marathon and made you all promise to never let me do another one? Well, I'm two and a half month out from doing my 3rd marathon, and I blame you all for not stopping me. I guess I get a four year itch with these things.

But, this time is different I say! I'm running about twice as many miles. I've got twice as many kids, I'm twice as awesome, and twice of two of things I can't remember right now. So, this is me putting it out there so I can't go back on my word.

Oh, I just remembered something else - I have twice as much fun running now. How can you double zero fun? Not sure... but I actually have fun running now. I know, it's odd.

Hurricane Irene Trail run

2011-08-30T18:36:00.003-04:00

As the winds of hurricane Irene died down I went out for an ill-advised trail run. The winds had died down, and based on what I saw the waters had died down considerably as well... though they were still extremely high.

There's not normally water here.

One other (barefoot) runner preceded me on the trails:

1 month

2011-04-08T14:34:00.001-04:00

Day 22 - 6.85
23 - 2.14
24 - 5.02
25 - 5
26 - 1.08
27 - 3.12
28 - 7.84
29 - 3.17
30 - 5.5
31 - 5
1 month down, 123.34 miles. Feeling stronger than ever. Generally have been going out for 1 in mind and doing 3 to 5. Knee pains gone. Disney next week could be my downfall.

Day 21 update

2011-03-29T10:49:00.002-04:00

Day 16 - 1.02 miles
Day 17 - 3 miles
Day 18 - 5.37 miles
Day 19 - 2.31 miles
Day 20 - 8 miles
Day 21 - 3 miles

Weekly totals
Week 1 - 29.02
Week 2 - 21.88
Week 3 - 27.72

21 straight days of running and feeling good. There was one run last week when it was 40 degrees and raining that I didn't feel up to it, but I got out there for a mile. Kym goes away this weekend, so I'm going to have to find a way to get a run in with the kids. I'm thinking I'll either put them in child watch and run at the gym or have them ride bikes around the neighborhood with me running next to them.

Weight loss update - no change. 21 days of running and I haven't lost a pound since day 3. Is this proof that working out isn't good for you? I think I'm on to something.

RunStreak Day 15

2011-03-22T18:29:00.002-04:00

5 miles in 35:54 on the schukyll

A revolutionary War era trading house on the river. Or maybe not. This is in Valley Forge, but there's no sign saying what it is.

This could be the last of my picture posts. I'm running out of anything interesting to post. It will degenerate to me posting pictures of the horseshit I have to avoid on the trails and I'd rather not go there.

RunStreak Day 14

2011-03-21T18:43:00.002-04:00

2.95 miles in 27:54

4 days of nice weather down the drain after one night of rain.

21.88 miles in my 2nd week. I wish I reversed them and did 21 in the 1st and 29 in the second. My knee is still sore, but it hasn't gotten any worse. I blame it on the combo of running on streets last Saturday, then bowling Saturday night, then doing 10 the next morning. Hopefully it gets better soon.

RunStreak Day 13

2011-03-20T14:47:00.001-04:00

1.16 miles in 10:54 after a 1.5 mile family hike

RunStreak Day 12

2011-03-19T11:43:00.001-04:00

7.20 miles at Evansburg in 1:08:21

This portion of the trail has been washed away. Just out of view is a giant sticker bush to prevent you from going left at all.

RunStreak Day 11

2011-03-18T07:04:00.002-04:00

1.15 miles in 10:01 around the neighborhood before the sunrise

RunStreak day 10

2011-03-17T09:12:00.003-04:00

5.42 miles at Evnasburg in 52:26

Found a lucky horseshoe on the trail on St. Patty's day. I just looked it up and saw they're good luck unless you hold them upside down and the luck runs out. Oh well.

RunStreak day 9

2011-03-16T14:51:00.002-04:00

3.00 miles in 24:45 on the schukyll path

RunStreak Day 8

2011-03-15T12:46:00.001-04:00

1 mile in 9 minutes on the perkiomen trail

week 1 thoughts

2011-03-14T19:28:00.002-04:00

-Going for a run was a lot easier than expected. I never dreading going out to run, even when it was raining.
-I ran 29 miles, the most in one week since I ran a marathon 4 years ago.
-I didn't plan any runs out, and ran more than expected every time.
-My legs have been tired walking up stairs, but weren't when running.
-I weighed myself after my long run on Sunday and had lost 2 pounds since I started. (184.5-182.5)
-My left knee was hurting after my run yesterday, felt fine this morning, and is now killing me. Could derail this whole thing early.

RunStreak day 7

2011-03-14T13:42:00.002-04:00

2.04 miles along the schukyll in 17:20

The Schukyll Trail is a paved path that runs from center city philly to about 30 miles outside the city along the Schukyll River. I've run the "trail" 100 times. During my run the other day I noticed this dirt path next to it, and tried it out at lunch today.

RunStreak Day 6

2011-03-13T13:26:00.002-04:00

10.10 Evansburg trail miles in 1:36:42.

Ran through this calf deep/knee creek twice

RunStreak Day 5

2011-03-12T10:28:00.002-05:00

1.4 miles in 12:07 around the neighborhood

My day: running and brewing

And a bonus lap around the block with my favorite 2 year old

RunStreak day 4

2011-03-11T17:55:00.004-05:00

4.00 miles at Evansburg in heavy mud in 38:35

I took a landscape pic, but then though I'd be doing an injustice to trail running to not show how muddy you get after it rains

RunStreak day 3

2011-03-10T13:11:00.002-05:00

2.05 miles in the pouring rain on the schuylkill in 16:01

RunStreak Day 2

2011-03-09T20:15:00.003-05:00

4.98 trail miles, 46:56.
Day 1 was was 4.35 miles, 41:56

I made the mental commitment to do this yesterday, so I'm counting that too.

I've decided to try a few things, not sure how well it will work out.

- I'll try to take a picture of every run
- I'll try to run 46 unique experiences. Never running the same route more than once.
- Unless it's a treadmill
- Unless I'm running with someone. A few friends are doing Tough Mudder, so I may train with them a little and won't make them bend to my rules.

Today's pic:

This bridge has been out for months. They were tring to fix it, then ended up tearing it down. It cuts the park in half, so I can't get to half of the trails in the park unless I run through the water. Which I'll be sure to do at some point in the next month.

RunStreak

2011-03-09T13:58:00.000-05:00

As a not-so-devote Catholic I've skipped the "giving things up" Lent tradition for the past 20 years or so. Inspired by some crazy people, I've decided to give up NOT running for Lent this year. I will try to run at least 1 mile everyday for the next 45 days. (Is Lent 45 days? So, Jesus went to the desert for 40 days, but we're supposed to do something for 45? Doesn't seem fair to me.) I already know I've got a tough task ahead of me. I'd love to not use a treadmill since they're the devil, but with 4 inches of rain expected starting tomorrow, I might be getting off to a tough start. Also, Kym going away for a weekend in April means I'll have to run with Kenslee riding a bike and with Colin in a stroller at least twice. Then, my toughest task will be the 6 days we're spending in Disney the 2nd week of April. Why am I doing this again?

Trail Running

2011-01-16T16:24:00.006-05:00

On Halloween of last year I ran a 10 mile trail race and pretty much was instantly addicted. Running through the mud, over rocks and down trees, through rivers and choosing my way through different paths as I go is so much more fun than running on streets. I find myself going out for a 3-4 mile run, then choosing to take paths that I know make my runs closer to 6 miles. I've woken up and happily gone for a run before work in 20 degree weather. I've run in the rain, in the snow, and while snowing. I've run two days after 8 inches of snow fell. I'm finding myself having no desire to do the normal road races I've been doing for the past few years. Just not much interest in that. While running after a snow fall a few weeks ago I snapped some pics in Evansburg Park.

I wear an orange hat when I run so hunters don't shot my ass.

Today I ran the Chilly Cheeks Trail run in Reading, PA. Billed as the hardest (per-mile) race you'll ever do. Climbing hills you have to use your hands to get up, and going down hills you simply can't stop on. Good times

A quick 80 foot hill to finish it out.

Here's my GPS if any future trail runners are looking for info on the race.

600 feet of climbing over 3 miles in the middle then you fly right back down the last mile.

After 17 days out of work

2010-09-07T09:59:00.004-04:00

I'm like Jack in LOST. I need to go back. I don't like this world.

Spew

2010-06-21T23:54:00.002-04:00

My best friend died today. My best friend from high school more specifically. We played basketball everyday. We inspired each other to play better, to jump higher, to dunk. We played video games until 5am. I brought him on family vacations. We had more fun than you can imagine. We got in more trouble than you can imagine. I grew out of it. He did not. He became an alcoholic and could not stop. He had a son 6 months ago and could not stop. I don't even know how or why he died right now, but he is gone.

Imagine he biggest asshole you ever met and times it by ten. That was Lenny. Imagine the funniest person you ever met and times it by ten. That was Lenny. Imagine the best friend you ever had and times it by ten....

You think of someone and the dominate thought is that of alcoholism. I can't help but think that. But right now I think of the time in high school that he came to the shore with me. In about 3 minutes he convinced two girls we met to meet in the beach at 3am that night. They actually did. And we actually were sober for a change, making out with these girls under an astoroid shower until 5am when my parents noticed we were gone and found us walking home. We had to weed the entire beach property the next day as punishment. We could have cared less. The price of a good clean time as high schoolers.

I could tell a million other stories. My parents could tell many of those same stories, which ended much worse than two kids picking weeds. As a parent I know I will end up telling a lot of bad stories about my kids, but I pray there is never a story that ends up like Lenny's story has ended. I love you brother.

DOE!

2010-06-02T14:15:00.000-04:00

The trail I run on is about 10 feet wide with a short fence on each side. There are often deer just on the other side of the fence, but today when I was running there was a deer in the middle of the trail. As I got closer and closer it looked at me with no intention of moving. I got closer and closer and he/she just stared at me. I veered to the far side of the trail, and just kept running. About 3 feet from the deer. So, this makes me question: Why the hell do hunters feel the need to hide in trees to shoot these stupid things?

Snip, Snip

2010-01-04T15:11:00.001-05:00

About a month ago I had a vascetomy, so I figure I'd share the delightful experience. After much discussion and hearing a bit too much screaming and crying over the past few years, Kym and I decided we're done with kids. We love the ones we got and we don't need to add anymore madness to our lives. We went to the Dr., watched an awesome 80s film on the topic, and was scheduled for the procedure about two weeks later. Faster than we thought it would be, but we felt ready to make the step.

The appointment comes and I'm called back to the room. I was given the option to have Kym come in with me, but I declined, knowing she'd put some last minute thoughts in my head and I wouldn't get it done. So, I strip my pants off and lie totally uncomfortably back on the table. I hear some activity, then, whoa, the nurse is rubbing me down with some sanitary stuff. She then very carefully encases my nutsack in four pieces of operating paper stuff and tells me to not touch anything down there and walks out of the room. I'm left there for at least 10-15 minutes, unable to put my arms below my waist and regretting everything about the experience. Then the doc comes in and does his thing. There was a small pinch, then about 20 minutes of uncomfortable tugging and utter and complete awkwardness.

I go home, put ice on my balls, and look up stories of vascetomey regret on the internet. After a few days the hardcore pain went away, as did the regret. I'm now 4 weeks post procedure and I still don't feel 100%. I've talked to several people who were back to normal in a few days, but I've got lingering random pain in the nuts. It's annoying, but I'm told it will eventually go away. My superpowers will return to me before long.

Winter Ale and European Lager (and mix)

2009-11-15T00:22:00.000-05:00

96 bottle of beer on my floor, 96 bottles of beer..

I think it's pretty safe to say my creative writing here is done, so I figure I'll write about homebrewing when I get the urge.

Tonight I bottled two beers. My 3rd time doing the same European Lager, and a Winter Ale I threw together.

When Kym got me the brewing equipment the guy at the store also sold her a simple Coopers European Lager and 3 lbs DME. It's a yellow beer drinker favorite and I've made it about every 3 months since I first started brewing early this year.

I wanted a Winter Ale and wasn't too into all the kits I looked at. They seemed too spicy or too dark. I wanted a mildly spicy Amber ale, so I made up my own.
1/2 Crystal 60
1/2 Carapils 20
6.6 lbs Amber liquid extract
1 oz Vanguard 60 min
1 oz Cascade 15 min
Wyeast 1028 London Ale
spices (10 min)
1/4 t nutmeg
1/2 t 1loves
1/2 t ginger
1 t vaniall extract
2 cinnamon sticks

O.G 1.050
F.G 1.016

When bottling tonight I decided to try something different. I took a gallon from each of the fermentors and mixed then and got about a case worth of a european winter lager/ale. We'll see how that turns out...

I love my homebrews but they don't taste as good as this Dogfish Punkin Ale did.

What I did on my summer vacation

2009-09-09T22:13:00.002-04:00

Every Christmas since Kenslee was born I made a video much like the following for my parents and Kym's parents. The Christmas one is longer and more fine tuned, but some of the lyrics to this song I like so much (not the vulgar ones) I decided to make a summer vacation video.

I'm undecided as to if I want to put it on the Christmas video for the grandparents because of those few lyrics, so I'm just putting it here for now.

1000th Post Extravaganza!!!!!!!!

2009-09-09T17:49:00.000-04:00

woohoo, 1000 posts!

So very close

2009-08-01T14:11:00.004-04:00

So close

2009-08-01T14:11:00.001-04:00

Benign is the greatest french sounding word in the English Language

2009-07-03T00:03:00.003-04:00

Kym will probably get mad at me for posting this, but whatever.

A few months ago Kym started having blackouts. She'd lose vision for a few seconds, then be ok. After seeing the doctors a few times they ordered a cat scan. They found clogged sinuses, which is most likely the cause when combined with low blood pressure. But they also found pollups on her parotid gland. They ordered an MRI on that, where they found a tumor on her thyroid. The tumor has calcification, and with the help of google, we found some wonderful studies that told us that means there is an 80% chance the tumor is cancer. On Monday she had all three lumps biopsied. The results were released to the doctor yesterday and after about 10 calls and 24 brutal hours of waiting they called back, and we found all results are benign. One of the pollups showed benign results, but there was a limited sample so they want to do it again. Which sucks, but it's a thousand million times better than the way we felt a few days ago.

The fatality rate of thyroid cancer is really low, but we had to prepare for the worst. Imagine how you'd feel losing your spouse. Imagine a doucebag like me trying to raise two manical kids alone. It hasn't been a fun few weeks. But things are looking up. We have several appointments next week. She may still need sugery, or she may still need radioactive treatment. She still needs to get the sinus issues resolved. But, it's not cancer, and I can sleep now.

Rush Hour 5K (at SEI, Oaks, Perkiomen Trail)

2009-06-19T09:39:00.002-04:00

aka, the best 5K ever. I did my best time ever, got 3rd in my division, and blah blah blah.

Here's the good part. Free beer and food. Bud, bud light, bud light lime. Beamish and Magners Irish Cider. Bluberry Vodka/sprite/lemonade drinks. Buffalo and BBQ wings, pasta, brownies, flank steak, Q-Doba tacos, pizza, more pasta, duck, bruschetta, fruit smoothies, fruit on a stick, cookies on a stick, ice cream.

And I ate and drank it all just to support a good cause. Damn, I'm good person.

Puma Complete Vectana Review

2009-06-11T22:46:00.004-04:00

I bought a new pair of sneakers today that just hit the market. I got home and googled them and found nothing about them, almost no one even sells them yet, so I figured I'd write a review to help people out.

The Puma Vectana is a blue and grey sneaker. Blueish. And Grey. Grey, or Gray? Or is that Silver? I'm not sure.

As you can see, the Vectana has a webby looking thing in the front, so maybe they were made for spiders? I only got two in my shoebox, so that sucks that spiders would have to buy four pairs of them at $99.99 a pair.

But, wait, I just turned it around, and there's a tiger on the other side. Or, is that a cheetah? Hang on a sec while I google the cheetah girls to see if this is what they look like... nope, that's not a cheetah. Probably a jaguar. Definitely an animal that can run fast, because that's what these sneakers do. When I was little I could always run faster and jump higher when I got new sneakers and the same holds true here. In fact, these should be called Segways, not sneakers because they actually did all the running for me. I put them on, and they just go. I fell asleep halfway through my run tonight and they just kept on going and eventually brought me home. Not to my home because they don't know my neighborhood yet, but they brought me to a home. I can't complain about a sneaker that treats me that well.

But for real, if any runners do find this, I've never done a shoe review, so I wouldn't know where to begin. I've had 5 pairs of Puma Tenos in the past 3 years, so that's what I'm used to. These seem to be more cushioned in the heel, and I feel like there's less room in the toebox. I only ran 2 miles tonight, so I really won't be able to tell how much I like them until I get out for a few more runs.

I went to New York and all I got were these pictures of New York

2009-05-27T22:31:00.005-04:00

My brothers and dad met my cousin and uncle in Jersey City the other day and we hopped a train to NYC, then a subway to Yankee Stadium to watch the Phillies put on a clinic for the Yankees (in 11 innings). I planned to document the trip in pictures culminating in pictures of my bros and me and my dad in front of the field, but then didn't feel like taking those pics. So I'm left with these.

My uncle works on Wall Street, but the address they use is the side alley behind his building because he sells Catholic School Books and the nuns and priests wouldn't approve. Shhh, don't tell.

A-Rod striking out I'm sure.

The amount of tourists taking pictures of and looking at ground zero is absurd. There's tarps around 95% of it and people take pictures of the tarps. I don't get it.

Free Shit

2009-05-11T14:33:00.000-04:00

On Thursday after 40 days and 40 nights of rain we finally got a break in the weather and I was able to mow the lawn. As I was mowing it, I grew more and more angry at my non-English speaking neighbor. He got a delivery of mulch in his driveway and it was the shittiest smelling mulch I've ever been a witness to. Add that to the fact that the grass I was cutting was about 7 feet high, and it was not a happy night for me. As I was finishing up my front lawn he started approaching me. We've lived there for 4 years and he's never crossed the street. I felt a fight coming on. He must have sensed my anger. I stopped my mower and prepared for some sort of ninja attack. He made a strange motion and said something I didn't understand. I got in the karate kid crane position when I realized he was offering me his mulch. "too much, too much" he said. I relaxed and spent the next hour wheeling mulch from his house to mine. I couldn't pass up free shit.

Broadstreetrun

2009-05-05T15:11:00.001-04:00

This weekend I ran the Broad Street Run. 10 miles through Philly. My goal was to do it under 70 minutes (under 7 minutes per mile). I crushed that time by 6 seconds. My original plan was to go out hard for the first 5 miles then try to hang on. I only made up to mile 3 hard, but I was still able to hold on and accomplish my goal.

To note:
It was raining most of the race and not ideal weather, but better than the previous Sunday's 90 degrees.
I'm still sore, and have one black toenail from the pressure of running hard in wet shoes, but mostly ok.
A certain local female weatherwoman who I wrote about 2 years ago (and still get 2-3 daily hits so I won't write her name) also ran the race. I was able to beat her 2 years ago (nevermind she was 6 months pregnant). This year she beat me by 5 minutes and was the 38th fastest female overall.
I finished in 1005th place out of 23,172.
Yesterday I was in 983rd place, but somehow 22 more people beat me a day later.
The governor of PA stands on the street 6 miles in giving high fives and I was 2 feet past him before realizing I missed getting a high five for the 3rd year in a row.
I've run 267 miles so far in 2009. I ran 265 in all of 2008.

uggh

2009-04-29T09:58:00.001-04:00

My current favorite thing with my daughter is when I do something and she says "You're the best daddy!" and I say "No, you're the best!", "no, daddy, YOU'RE the best." repeat, repeat, repeat. If I do it enough she gets angry at me because she wants me to be the best.

For the past 16 weeks I've been training to run the Broad Street Run which is this weekend. It's a 10 mile run through philly and will be my 3rd year running it. A few weeks ago my training runs magically started getting faster and faster and I'm really excited to see just how fast I can run the 10 miles. When I have to walk after 4 miles I'll know I went too hard.

Approximately once a day I think of something I should write about then forget what it is 5 minutes later.

I always told myself I'd never offically quit blogging, but a few more shitty posts like this and I think my blogger card will be revoked.

Previously on theytriedtomakemegoto

2009-04-11T16:48:00.002-04:00

Summer of 2007 I started a private blog which I stopped updating a while ago. Here's how the story went...

My brother is an alcoholic and entered rehab
He got out of rehab in high spirits and high hopes
He started to put his life back together and met a girl in the program
She relapsed at the same time a bunch of friends had fatal relapses.

The story picks back up...

He stayed with the girl for a short period of time, but they're no longer together.
He made the Dean's List at the local community college a few semesters in a row.

A few months ago some people from Bucknell University visited his school looking for candidates to attend their school. They held a meeting for all people interested and as they started they said if at any time you don't feel you're right for the program you may get up and walk out. We're looking for someone who is not exactly right out of high school, and a bunch of people got up and left. We're looking for someone who has maybe not had the easiest road to get here, and a bunch of people got up and walked out. They continued to talk about the type of people they were searching for and my brother fit every criteria. He went on a few interviews and the field was narrowed down. He was still in the running. Two weeks ago he went on the final interview and today got a letter. He has been accepted to the program to finish his last two years at Bucknell. Free of tuition. Free room and board. Free books and everything he needs.

When I graduated high school I didn't bother applying to Bucknell because I knew I wouldn't get in. I'm amazed and proud of the turnaround my brother has made and feel no need to have a private blog to write about it. I imagine that living on a college campus is not the easiest thing in the world for a recovering alcoholic, but I have no doubt he will shine.

8 years

2009-04-03T09:27:00.001-04:00

Yesterday marked my 8 year anniversary of working at the same company. Think of all the things one can do in 8 years. One could complete two terms of presidency and ruin a country. One could serve time in prison for involuntary manslaughter (I guess, I really have no idea). One could could have 10 non-twin kids, or 80 kids if you were an octomom every time you got knocked up. For me, 8 years means 5 more days of vacation. Bringing my annual vacation time to 6 weeks 2 days. If I really wanted to I could take off from November 18th until February 17th. How bad ass would that be?

April Fools!

2009-04-01T15:00:00.001-04:00

So, I'm pregnant! Worlds 2nd pregnant man.

no, no, no...

So, I got in a car accident this morning and I'm in a coma.

no, no, no

So, I quit my job to pursue a full time blogging job because I've been so steady with updating this blog once a month

I actually did get my wife this morning. She called me on her way to work to warn me about cops on the road. When I got into work I sent her an email explaining how she had called me right as I was getting into my car and that made me forget to put my seatbelt on and was pulled over and given a $132 ticket for no seatbelt. She called me screaming about 30 seconds later. Ha! fool!

The New Dora

2009-03-17T22:45:00.005-04:00

So, parents are outraged by the new Dora. Check her out, she's pretty slutty, huh?

Same jewelry, but look at that trashy dresspants thing! And the slutty thinned out bangs! Pretty unacceptable if you ask me. But the most unacceptable part of Dora? Her Explorer skills.

I mean, her nickname is the Explorer and she really doesn't explore shit. I went to high school with a dude named Druggie Dave. You know why that was his name? He was a druggie. Tonight I read a Dora book to my daughter and Dora found the Play Park. And the only reason she found the play park was because she had a friggen map.

You know who didn't have a map? Christopher Columbus. If the Earth were flat, he'd have been dead. And Ferdinand Magellan. He circled the Earth with no talking map in his backpack. Even my least favorite Explorer, Vasco Nunez de Balbo, who "discovered" the Pacific Ocean is a better Explorer than Dora. The guy walked a few miles, opened his eyes, saw water and became one of the most famous explorers in history. It's not all that much more than Dora, but he never had his own tv show.

On yesterday's episode of Dora the Explorer she discovered her house. Her own damn house. She went through the Spooky Forest, past the Nut Farm, and then to Dora's house. All with the help of that whiny map she checked 25 times along the way.

I don't care much about the new Dora's headband or fashion sense. But, I hope that she has learned some better exploring skills in her older, sluttier years.

So Close

2009-03-16T10:42:00.001-04:00

Last night I had a dream that some guy was living in my attic without me knowing. One night he made the mistake of coming down to use the bathroom before I was asleep. I wrestled him to the ground until the cops came. I was naked. After the cops took him away I so excited that I would finally have something interesting to blog about. Unfortunately I do not.

It's a sad State of the World

2009-03-14T09:47:00.002-04:00

When this many more people care about Idol than Starburst Porn

Who got kicked off American Idol last night?

2009-03-11T21:22:00.003-04:00

Have that as a post title and watch the hits!

That jasmine girl that kinda looks like a fish just got kicked off and Ryan made some creepy comments to her off mic.

I don't know who else because I'm still, unfortunately, watching it.

Either that gokey guy will win it all or that girl that has a kid (does every remaining chick have a kid?)

Is it just me or is that emo/goth d-bag the most overrated singer ever?

I am 100% CONSUMED with watching the greatest American hero looking dude do chorography.

What's this judges save shit?

heh heh. He said...

2009-02-27T11:46:00.000-05:00

In a few weeks I'm will have been with my company for 8 years. Everyday people come up to me and ask me questions and I often know the answers off the top of my head. When they walk away I think about how odd/pathetic/cool it is that I have all of this information in my head. But what's even cooler is when I get to say things like "Scrotum" and "Vagina" in a purely business sense.

Punta Canans must be sneaky

2009-02-25T09:20:00.003-05:00

So, we're back from vacation and not happy about it. The weather was in the 80s and sunny everyday and returning to highs of 37 is not desirable. We enjoyed a lot of relaxing by the pool and on the beach. The only interesting story of the long weekend was when someone spiked my wife's drink. Or at least that's what must have happened. It definitely was not the 12 drinks she had consumed. The night was just like every other night there... dinner, followed by me kicking her ass in scrabble, followed by the resort's boring theatric show, followed by more drinks, followed by the karaoke bar, followed by the disco. The disco is surely where someone spiked her drink. They probably had some sort of special drug that makes you dance when you never normally dance, and the drug must have had some special powers over the spikee's husband to let her drag him out on the dance floor too. At around 2:30am the dancing part of the drug started to wear off and I knew better to get her back to the room before someone, besides me, took advantage of her in this ~~drunken~~ sabotaged state. Within 2 seconds of entering our room she was passed out. For about 10 minutes before getting up annnd... relieving herself of the contents of her stomach as I held her hair. We then returned to bed where I was happy to stay with her in bed and protect her from further attacks until around 2pm the next afternoon.

Irish coffees hours before the incident. Definitey NOT part of the problem.

Toughing it out the next night.

It's just not worth it

2009-02-18T10:10:00.002-05:00

189 - Weight on Dec 31st (after a night of drinking beer and eating wings)
49 - Days since then
45 - Total "workouts" since then
22 - times I've run
86 - miles I've run
10 - times I've lifted
13 - times I've done pushups (since Jan 15)
1489 - total pushups
1500ish - total situps
183 - today's weight
6 - pounds lost

Is all that worth 6 pounds? I don't think so. Could I have run a few more miles? yes. Could I have lifted a few more times? yes. Could I have eaten less pizza and wings and burriitos? no. Could I have drank less than a keg of beer? debatable.

I'm starting to believe this whole exercise thing is a scam. Or maybe I should just finally cut my hair to lose that last 5 pounds.

Tainted Love

2009-02-12T08:57:00.001-05:00

Three years ago I made 12 of the most ridiculously stupid Valentines day cards for my wife. And not only did I give her all these cheesy non-traditional cards, but I gave her the utlra-cheesy, ultra-traditional "bear holding a heart" (because ofa joke on The Office maybe? I don't remember). At the time I wish I sat back and decided to giver her one every year until the year 2018 instead of all 12 at once. Because now I have nothing. I've had nothing for the past two years either.

Next Thursday we're going to Punta Cana, so we agreed to get each other something small vacation related for V-Day. So, I'm thinking I'll get her sand in my bathing suit. Or maybe sunburn can be bottled? I know the mosquitos there have malaria, so I wonder if I could get her one of those? I'm open to other romantic suggestions.

My first homebrew

2009-01-30T22:42:00.003-05:00

As I wrote a few weeks ago I started to brew my own beer. It was a lager that is suggested to sit in the bottle for 12 weeks before drinking. Obviously, 1 week is long enough for me. I opened it with the fear of God in me, honestly and completely expecting it to shoot up to the ceiling. But, it sounded and acted like a normal beer. The extra 11 week definitely will help in the clarity:

But, holy shit, it's actual good. Really good. I'm so excited. So excited I'm brewing anohter batch. Right now. It's almost 11pm and I've got about another hour and a half. uggh.. Good thing I have some beer to drink..

The Blogojevich

2009-01-26T21:31:00.003-05:00

About a month or so ago I made the decision to not get a haircut. I've had the same haircut for the past 12 years. A size 2 or 3 razor thingy on the sides and back. Kinda short in the front with a "push-up ceaser". Here's a collage I made of my hair as well as some other awesome things.

I decided it was time for a change. To what you ask? I made no plans. I was just going to let it grow and see what happens. Maybe I'd end up looking cool like one of the guys in Flight of the Concords. Maybe I'd get sick of it and go back. But, so far I'm sticking it out. It's getting to the point where I have to start doing something different with it and right now I think my only choice is to emulate my favorite corrupt politician.

I know I still have a few more months to get it to his height. I know I'll never achieve his greatness, but I'm going for it. I'm not giving it up for bleeping nothing. I'm not going to do it.

Change

2009-01-20T09:15:00.001-05:00

After 8 long years this country is seeing a change like no other. After 8 long years I have changed my underwear and socks. I can't imagine a bigger change than that occurring anywhere today.

Is it too early?

2009-01-18T23:23:00.002-05:00

So, I'm amazed and glad that everyone survived that plane crash, but the list of heroes seems to grow by the minute. The pilot, the people holding babies, the people pulling others out of the water, the ferry taxis, the father and son, etc..

I want to hear the stories about the guy who shit his pants then punched an old lady as he tried to get out the door.... but then refused to step out on the wing because I ain't going in that cold ass water. Because that would be me. Right after I rescued 3 babies and a dolphin. Of course.

Vista must be broken

2009-01-16T13:55:00.002-05:00

If it's such a beautiful, sunny day outside...

why is my computer showing me this ridiculous temperature?

An update!

2009-01-13T00:11:00.003-05:00

I screwed up some stuff pretty good at work today, so I've been on a call since 6pm. I'm at a lull now so I figured I'd update this.

Based on what I've been up to, it seems I'm rich with nothing good to do with my time. Since I last wrote I bought dining room furniture, a 46 inch tv with stand, a tv stand for the basement tv, I booked a vacation to punta cana in February, and I started making my own beer.

Which was a total disaster when it boiled over the top.

Hopefully it tastes ok in the end. I'll find out in 12 friggen weeks when it's ready. I don't think I can wait that long.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T08:53:00.001-05:00

The starbursts got overruled

I'm terrible at getting in accidents

2008-12-23T14:41:00.003-05:00

I just got in a less-than-fender bender at lunch. I just shopped for about two hours and could not find everything I needed. I was angry. It was 1:30 and I hadn't eaten yet, which got me more angry. Kym called me and asked me to make another stop and that added to my anger as I was getting onto a highway on a horrible onramp that's under construction and the guy in front of me slammed on his brakes, and I slammed on mine and I tapped him. He stopped and I looked at him to see what he would do as he continued to talk on his cell phone. He just sat there. 20 seconds, 30 seconds. I wasn't sure if he was waiting for a break in traffic to pull onto the highway, or what. About a minute went by before I decide to get out and go see what was up. He, while talking on his phone, said, "I guess I need your insurance." I said, "There's no damage" He said "Well, you hit me." I said, "Well, you slammed on your brakes for no reason." He said "The guy in front of me did." (unconfirmed). I got my info and he wrote it down. Said he had no idea what to even write down, and I didn't either. He wrote some stuff and asked if I wanted to wait for the police or just go. I told him I wanted to just go, there's nothing more than a little scratch on the bumpers (that aren't worht fixing) and I had to get back to work.

The dumbest thing was, I didn't feel like dealing with it so I just left without writing down any info of his. I called Kym, who got mad at me, so I turned around, got back on the highway and went back. Less than 15 minutes later, he was gone (so he must not have called the police). Hopefully I don't get arrested tonight. Hopefully they wait until after Christmas.

Remind me not to crash my car anymore.

It's Begining to Look a Lot Like Starbursts...

2008-12-17T22:25:00.002-05:00

One of the most annoying things about the holidays is picking out our Christmas card. Even when we pick a picture the style and saying takes another 3 hours. We're still undecided. Maybe you can help.

Schindler's Gas

2008-12-11T08:44:00.001-05:00

Is anyone else all-consumed with the dropping gas prices? I work about 6 miles from home and pass three gas stations. Every day on the way into work and on the way home I get excited to see if the prices dropped again. They do almost every afternoon and I look down at my gas tank and see I don't need any and I think to myself, "I should just get it anyway, this HAS to be the bottom", or "I'll still be saving money if I only need 1 gallon to fill up, right?", or "Gas is cheaper than beer, I wonder if it would get me drunk." I've been doing this for a few weeks and I'm finally nearing empty and actually do need gas. Now, I find myself on the opposite site of the fence. I keep thinking, "I can save 30 more cents if I wait until tonight" , or "I don't need it yet, I can go one more day, just one more day", or "I wonder if these pants make me look fat".

It has become an obsession that I'm sure will end up with me running out of gas and walking into work in a few days.

Beachy-Keen

2008-12-05T08:50:00.001-05:00

Kym and I have been lucky enough to be granted a sitter so we can take a 4 night vacation early next year. Almost every year we go to somewhere in the Caribbean. This year we were thinking about using some Hilton points and getting a free hotel somewhere within in the US. We'd want it to be a relaxing vacation.... which is why we always end up going to the islands. In the spirit of losing our billions in the stock market this year we were thinking of being conservative with the spending. We like skiing, but prefer to be warmer. We're horrible at making decisions, so we'll probably end up paying for an all-inclusive beach trip. Any suggestions?

I never questioned the friendships I made until a homeless guy had more Facebook friends than me

2008-11-20T22:41:00.005-05:00

In the neighborhood I grew up in there were two homeless guys. I lived in the suburbs, but there were two guys that were always walking around town who very much seemed to be homeless. Art the Artist and Slobbering Bob.

Art the Artist was on the mean side. He never talked to anyone, he smelled really bad and he always had a scowl on his face. He'd hang out at the library and draw and you couldn't sit on the same side of the library as him without gagging from the smell. But, he drew the coolest pictures. Gothic type things with gargoyles and bad ass scary shit.

On the other hand Slobbering Bob was mister outgoing. He always had on a Phillies jacket and a hat back in the day. He'd slobber when he talked and his jacket was covered with it. He'd talk to anyone and everyone. He'd always ask you if you could ride a bike and if you had one he'd ask if he could ride it. He always warned against the dangers of smoking too. I didn't know it, but he apparently loved to help people take down their Christmas decorations. He just walked around town all the time. We lived 20 minutes west of Philly and somehow he was also a permanent fixed at the Jersey shore. No one ever knew how he got there. Some people said he'd walk the 120 miles, others said he'd take a bus. But, everyone knew who he was.

A little over a week ago someone started a Facebook group in his honor. As I write this the group has 454 members with 92 wall posts. Almost all positive. He's still doing the same thing of going back and forth between PA and NJ and being Mr. social.

It kinda makes me wish I were more social.

But not really.

Another YouTube Video no one will care about

2008-11-20T11:27:00.001-05:00

Here's my favorite youtuber. Not my favorite song of hers, but the video must have taken a ridiculous amount of effort, so I'm posting it.

Top 8 things that me want to be a vampire

2008-11-19T13:17:00.000-05:00

Based on the vampire character defintion in HBO's True Blood.

1. Sleep all day
2. Don't have jobs
3. Are good at Wii
4. Drink Blood
5. Can't fly
6. Run fast
7. Watch lots of tv
8. Like chicks

I normally put this stuff on the baby blog, but whatever

2008-11-17T12:41:00.002-05:00

Last night we had lasagna for dinner and Kenslee wouldn't eat any of it. Kym decided to try to get her to eat and in what I'd describe as a voice you use when you're talking as a ghost she said "'I waaant sooome tomatoes!' Kenslee, did you hear that? It was your belly saying it wants tomatoes." And Kenslee said "Oh!" And she ate some tomatoes. So, she tried again "I waaant sooome pasta!" And Kenslee ate some pasta. "I waaant sooome cheese!" And Kenslee ate some cheese. It worked a few more times. Then out of nowhere, Kenslee, in her best ghostly-sounding belly voice said "Leeave meee alooone!"

1,528,726th to the bandwagon

2008-11-13T09:19:00.001-05:00

Who knew a song about the Holocaust could be so... pretty?

2008-11-05T11:29:00.000-05:00

Life ain't peachy keen for everyone today

The Voting System is Flawed!

2008-11-04T11:45:00.004-05:00

I just got back from voting. It took an hour. There were three lines. One for people who's last name's begin with the letters A-G. People like Bill Asshole and Bob Dickhead. There was no one in that line. The third line was people named S-Z. People like Mary Shithead and Susie Wanker. There was no one in that line. My line H-R, had about 400 people. But, because of the books and whatever, no one could switch lines so you had to just wait.

So, I think we need to come up with a new way of voting in 2012 when Lindsay Lohan is running for President. Here's what I think will work better:

1. Online Voting. Just vote online. I'm sure hackers have other things to do with their time than worry about messing with a web site like this.
2. Email Voting. You just email your vote in. But you have to pinky swear to not send more than one email.
3. Show of Hands Voting. Everyone in your state gathers in one place and you raise your hand for whoever you want.
4. Wet T-Shit Contest-esque Voting. Everyone cheers as loud as they can for whoever they want to win. Then the winner does a booty dance.

World Series Parade

2008-11-01T10:29:00.007-04:00

Kym and I

Crowds

People on buildings

Monkeys

Crowds

Morons in trees

Charlie

Cole Hamels and his wife who got naked on Survivor for chocolate

Hamels agains

Shane Victorino

And leave it to my wife to point out two things...

Hamels' wife's ring is so big its practically falling off her finger

And whoever is with her could be Jessica Simpson's twin

All in all, I hate parades. This one, truthfully, wasn't much different. It took 3 hours for the parade to reach us, and they drove by us in 2 minutes. It was cool to be there for the atmosphere, but If I were to go again, the concentration would be on tailgaiting. We were lucky to hit no traffic getting there since there were 2 million (literally) people there, so that made it worth it and I couldn't be any happier about them winning it all.

Holy

2008-10-30T00:08:00.002-04:00

Shit

Four more years! Four more years!

2008-10-22T10:48:00.000-04:00

On this day 28 years ago I woke up with a hangover. I was 5 years old. As far as I can remember I wasn't drinking, but I was out all night. My dad brought me to South Philadelphia to watch the greatest sporting event in Philadelphia history. I don't remember all that much except that we drove down with his friend who had a van which he sold sirens out of, so he blared those sirens as we drove through the mayhem going on in Philly after the game. It was the coolest thing ever. Tonight the Phillies will hopefully start the series to repeat that mayhem and I couldn't be any more excited.

Also on this day in history, 4 years ago, I wrote my first blog post. 960 posts later and here I am. (plus 220+ posts on other blogs). Other things that last 4 years: High School, College, Presidental terms, ipods, 10% of marriages*, the average NFL career **, meat in a freezer***, and an artifical lung****. One thing that is unwaivering after 4 years is my love for you all. Many have come and gone and some have come back. Whether you've been reading for 4 years or 4 days I appreciate you more than you know. I get excited when I see a new post in my google reader, and I get even more excited when I see an increase in a comment count on my blog. I wouldn't still be doing this if it weren't for you. Thank you all.

* Just a guess
** maybe?
*** probably not
**** now I'm just making shit up

And now everything I know about McCan't

2008-10-20T12:00:00.002-04:00

Ha! Those Mc jokes rule!

John McCain was a hero, as he was POW in Vietnam. I think a POW is kind of like a GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling), except he's not gorgeous, he's just Plain looking. I don't understand what's so heroic about wrestling in a foreign country, but whatever. Something I find odd about this election is how they never talk about how McCain was in jail for like 5 years in the 70s. Mike Tyson was only in jail for 4 years, so I'll go out on a limb and say Tyson will be president in 2096. Just when he's the same age as McCain, which is like 134. I read on the internet that McCain is so old he helped invent houses. And now he has 17. McCain also wants to overturn R v W, H&M, and AT&T. He doesn't understand Economics, Algebra, Calculus, Biology, and he got a C- in Spanish I. While you were reading this McCain just bought 6 more houses and slept with your spouse.

Joe the Terrorist

2008-10-17T16:43:00.003-04:00

I have't been paying much attention to the presidental race, but after my last post I figured I'd study up. So, I decided to watch some videos on youtube. Did you guys know Obama is a Muslim? And an Arab? And a terrorist! He "lies with terrorists". Which I must assume means he sleeps with terrorist for money! And a lot of dead people voted for him. He has also strangled aborted babies with his bare hands and he secretly hates plummers. Obama wants to raise your taxes if you make more than $250 a year and will send you to Iraq if you disagree with him. Obama is a socialist which is REALLY bad. I assume. I don't know what that even means. But most importantly, Obama kicks puppies and he just peed in your drink while you were reading this.

A family ripped apart

2008-10-13T22:59:00.002-04:00

Nada?

2008-10-09T13:57:00.001-04:00

I threaten not blogging for a while and you all give up too, huh? Not a single new blog post today by anyone on my reader feeder. You all make me sick!

The Finish Line

2008-10-07T11:43:00.001-04:00

My time is up. After 5 grueling days of blogging I've accomplished my goal. 5 glorious posts. Now I need a break. See ya in a month or two.

And We'll have lots of fun.... with Kenslee Yeung

2008-10-06T15:01:00.002-04:00

Last weekend my son was baptized and someone at one of the other baptisms going on at the same time stopped me and said that his daughter thought my daughter was Emily Yeung from Disney channel fame. What do you think? I think they look nothing alike. Emily Yeung is kinda oriental and my daughter....

kinda looks oriental? Wait a second here! Am I going to have to go on Maury and find out who the real baby daddy is?!!?!?

footnote: According to wikipedia Emily Yeung has her show on in 85 countries. Yet there are literally 4 pictures of her on the internets. What's up with that? Does Emily Yeung control the internet?

Day 3

2008-10-03T11:43:00.003-04:00

This 5 weekday in a row commitment to blogging is taking it's toll. I can't think. I can't sleep. I've got a bloody nose. I've developed carpal tunnel. I'm itchy. I'm twitchy. And the hemorrhoids. God help me the hemorrhoids!

The (vice presidential) Office tonight!

2008-10-02T08:49:00.001-04:00

I hate politics more than anyone I know. And I know a lot of people. I have 43 Facebook friend. FORTY THREE! So, it's very odd for me to actually be excited about the vice presidental debate tonight. Since The Office and 30 Rock aren't on, it's definitely the 3rd most intersting thing on tv after It's Always Sunny and Survivor. First of all, we've got Biden. His wife was my wife's 10th grade English teacher. So, I'm sure he'll spend at least half the night talking about my wife. Then there's the disaster of Palin. I'm really looking forward to listening to the gems that come out of her mouth. BUT, as soon as they start talking about politics I'm turning that shit off.

Next Stop: Jerry Springers Book Club

2008-10-01T13:44:00.005-04:00

At lunch today I finished reading The Road. I'd been reading it for about 2 months because it's boring as hell. It reminded me of the Hobbit. A lot of walking and a lot hiding from evil and a lot of nothing happening. I'm disappointed that I didn't like it because it was rated the number one book of the last 25 years by Entertainment Weekly, and it was in Oprah's Book club. I'm disappointed that my intellect doesn't measure up to Oprah's. I wonder if Rachel Ray or Dr. Phil have book clubs?

Over the past few days I've read one two great blogs/blog posts (plus Leezer and Jake have both made returns). They got me wanting to blog again. So, I'm going to make a 30 15 10 5 day (weekday) commitment to writing something. Anything. Even if it's uncomment worthy. I got into blogging because of blogs like those, and my blog was at one point like those. I wonder if I could ever get back to that or if I'm just resigned to updating every few weeks with something boring. Like this.

Zip Lining at Spring Mountain

2008-09-17T21:06:00.007-04:00

For my 33rd, I'm so old, birthday today Kym and I took the day off and went zip lining.

It started off with a climb up a cargo net into the trees.

Between Zips there were obstacles that they say they change on a regular basis. The first thing we did was a no-hands bridge. I'm not ashamed to admit I was scared shitless on this. I'm slightly afraid of heights, but more in an excited scared way than scared scared. The instructor bounced across with no hands but pretty much all of us held onto our zip lines.

Then we zipped.

Then we went across a single tightrope with ropes to hang onto. I saw playboy bunnies do this on Fear Factor so I couldn't be afraid of this one.

Then we zipped.

Then we zipped again.

Then we got to a single tightrope with a rope to hang onto high above. There were several ways you could cross this, we both chose to traverse hanging upside down. It was a lot easier then I thought it would be because it was on a slight decline.

Then we zipped.

The last zip brought us to this rock climbing wall..

..where we then rappelled down.

It was a pretty awesome time for an old man like me.

I wanted 2 other videos in this post, but damn youtube's been down all night. **** - edited - got them in.

An example of how downhill my blogging has gone

2008-09-05T11:42:00.005-04:00

I came up with this great idea to insert myself into hot pictures of Bristol or Sarah Palin. I figured it would cause a big uproar in the political world for people to see her making out with a democrat*.

But, all I could find were pictures of what I think are Bristol Palin's baby daddy's sister. Then, when I opened up photoshop and got started, I realized I have absolutely no idea how to use photoshop. This was as close as I came.

* - I'm not really a democrat. I'm nothing. My vote was going to be based on how hot McCain's wife is, but now this VP chick may have swayed me**

** also not true.

2008-08-29T00:11:00.000-04:00

It never stops now, does it?

10 minutes late

2008-08-27T00:07:00.002-04:00

Happy 3rd aniversary to my beautiful wife a few minutes late.

I write this lying in bed from my sweet new iPod touch (an iPhone didn't make sense for me as much as I covet thee).

Not a bad view while taking the trash out

2008-08-07T20:09:00.002-04:00

your loss

2008-08-06T00:06:00.003-04:00

Not much to write here... A little late on this, but I just wanted to write that Oh Great One has lost 50 pounds. Just by reading my blog!* She lost 50 pound by reading what I write. Can you believe it!?!?! So awesome.

* Or by doing things that have nothing to do with my blog.

Pimping my friend

2008-08-01T15:51:00.003-04:00

One of my best friends produced an independent film that's going through the film circuits and starting to get some national attention. As they try to get it picked up one of the things that is evaluated is the film's web site traffic. So I'm pimping it out. Go there, check it out. It's looks good but I haven't seen it yet.

They followed a real Mummers band around for a full year used that as a backdrop, but it's a story about divorce and how the silent painful moments are often over looked.

So, all four of you that still read my blog, Go Check it out

Really Google? Really?

2008-07-28T13:39:00.001-04:00

Beatrice Potter gets her own Google graphic? Really? Who's next, Joey Potter? Maybe Beatrice Authur? Really Google? Really? Let it be known that my birthday is in September and I fully expect my own Google Graphic. This is a warning Google, or I'll switch my search engine and the google trends for "boobs" and "big boobs" and "boobs and butts" will fall drastically!

is this thing on?

2008-07-09T23:14:00.001-04:00

I wish I could return from my I'm-too-tired-and-I'm-too-busy-to-blog hiatus with something spectacular like Starburst porn. But, I'm too tired and lazy.

2008-06-22T22:24:00.001-04:00

Family

2008-06-18T21:40:00.001-04:00

I haven't written on my other other blog yet this year, so I thought I'd update. And I may as well just do it here. My brother will be 11 months sober next week and is doing great. He works during the day as a mason and is going to school for psychology. He made the Dean's List in his first semester back, something no one in the family has ever done. He's got a girlfriend that has gone through everything he has gone through, which I think is good. Everything's going very well for him and our family. (knock on wood)

It melts my heart like the heat of a thousand suns

2008-06-09T09:56:00.000-04:00

Part 2

It melts my heart like the heat of a thousand suns

2008-06-03T15:52:00.001-04:00

It's already posted on my baby blog, but I have to post it here too because I love it so much...

1. I love the way she says "burday"
2. I love the happiness on her face as she sings to me.
3. I love the way she skips the second verse because, really, it's the same as the first
4. I love the way she pretends to blow out the candles as she gives me a kiss
5. I love the way she says "daddy-o" the second time
6. I love the way she breaks into some foriegn language at the end and
7. the way she says "umm.." as if she confused herself with the words she just spoke.

and by the way, it was her burday, not mine.