For Melissa

It was suggested I draw a diagram of my incident the other day, but I thought I'd rather animate it..

I almost got in a fight on my run this morning. I was doing 5 miles with 3 at pace.

(Brad Pitt will be playing the part of Me..)





My pace started at a mile marker right before you cross a road in a townhouse development. As I was approaching the street a cheesy Monte Carlo painted like a wannabe Nascar was coming to a rolling stop. I had a full head of steam, so I kept going. (and as a side note I have 25 runs this year on the same trail and about 22 of them crossed that street and I've never once stopped.)




When I was about 10 yards past the road I hear "HEY ASSHOLE! HOW ABOUT STOPPING?" I turn and Monte had rolled down his window and was yelling at me.


(Corey Feldman circa 1989 will be playing the part of Monte)



I yelled back "You're the one with the stop sign!", He yelled back "Yeah, and I stopped, you didn't!"




I yelled "That's because I don't have a stop sign, you have to stop for me ASSHOLE!"



Then I ran like the wind. Scared at every crossroad for the rest of my run that he would be waiting for me to kick my ass.

Handled just like Rocky would have

I almost got in a fight on my run this morning. I was doing 5 miles with 3 at pace. My pace started at a mile marker right beofore you cross a road in a townhouse development. As I was approaching the street a cheesy Monte Carlo painted like a wannabe Nascar was coming to a rolling stop. I had a full head of steam, so I kept going. (and as a side note I have 25 runs this year on the same trail and about 22 of them crossed that street and I've never once stopped.) When I was about 10 yards past the road I hear "HEY ASSHOLE! HOW ABOUT STOPPING?" I turn and Monte had rolled down his window and was yelling at me. I yellled back "You're the one with the stop sign!", He yelled back "Yeah, and I stopped, you didn't!" I yelled "That's because I don't have a stop sign, you have to stop for me ASSHOLE!" Then I ran like the wind. Scared at every crossroad for the rest of my run that he would be waiting for me to kick my ass.

And I Would Run...

It was a lot less dramatic than I imagined. No parade, no fireworks, no marching bands. No firetrucks, no champagne, not even a high five. I had just finished my 3rd mile of a 12 mile run this morning and nothing happened. I had just finished my 500th mile of the year and nothing happened. No strippers, no cash prizes, no hugs or kisses. I though at least a checkered flag was waved after 500 miles, but I saw nothing. What a bunch of shit.

Try not to be distracted by my amazing technologies

The stands in Atlanta were pretty empty tonight when Ryan Howard hit a home run. This girl didn't even have to stand up to get the ball.



But what do we have here...


I think I see panties!!!

Running Rambling

On June 11th I printed out a 14 week plan to train for the Philadelphia Distance Run (1/2 marathon). I wasn't exactly dedicated, but I completed all of my weekend long runs. 7 miles turned to 8, which turned to 9. The first week of August I decided to switch to a 16 week marathon plan to match up with the Philadelphia marathon in November. The daily run dedication still struggles, but the weekend runs have also kept up. Those 9 milers turned into 10, which turned into 12, which turned into 14, which turned into 16 miles that I ran on Sunday morning. On tap for this weekend is an 18 miler, follwed by the half marathon the weekend after that. I

Which brings me to where I'm torn. Do I really want to run a marathon? Runnign 18 miles the weekend before a half marathon is probably a killer. Spending three hours cleaning out my garage after my run probably didn't help the cause, but I was really hurting getting out of bed the past two mornings. The 16 mile run itself ws great. Ran quicker than planned, didn't truly start feeling pain until the last mile or two. I'm in waaay better shape than I was when I actually ran a marathon 4 years ago. But my next 11 weekends would look like this:

18 miles
Half Marathon
7 miles
16 miles
20 miles
16 miles
7 miles
20 miles
12 miles
8 miles
marathon

That's somewhere in the neighborhood of 163 miles and 22 hours of running. And that doesn't include all the weekday miles. Am I crazy? Probably. But damn it felt good to finish that marathon 4 years ago. And to be able to do it about a half hour faster this time would be pretty cool.

Out of Office

I'm in training all week, so instead of waiting for a post, go join the dance party.

A failed attempt

I just started to do research into all the women that Owen Wilson dated to see how horrible his life must be. But, after I went through one and a half pages of google results I got bored. I only found Kate Hudson, Demi Moore, Gina Gershon, Winona Ryder and Sheryl Crow. Disappointed with this pathetic bunch of D-List celebrities I gave in. I was hoping for something more juicy like a secret love affair with Prince William, or even just regular Prince.

So, then I just started to look into how much money he makes. I couldn't figure that out either. Just that 5 of his last 7 movies made over $200million. Now I know they say money Can't Buy Me Love, but it worked for Ronald Miller.

If I Were You

I would have stopped reading this blog a long time ago.

I've got nothing to talk about. I think it's the weather. 5 straight days of rain is non-conducive to blogging. Unless you get struck by lightning or something cool like that.

So, here's to hoping I get struck by lightning this weekend!

Being single dad is hard!

Just Kidding, it's EASY! Well, easy might not be the right word, but I'm happy to report we'd survive if anything bad ever happened and I had to be a single dad. Assuming of course that I would have a maid, a personal chef, and a landscaper. Then we'd survive. And Kenslee would be a poorly dressed, poorly mannered little girl with bad hair. But, we'd survive!

Being a single mom is easy!

Kym went away yesterday until Thursday night, so I'm on my own with the baby. (I guess she's not so much a baby anymore?) Last night I had a softball game and my mom was nice enough to meet me there with my brother. Sounds easy enough for me, but when taking her somewhere at 6pm you have to remember a sippy cup of water, a sippy cup of milk, diaper bag, sandwich, cheesestick, cherry tomatoes, pajamas, nighttime blanket, toys. done, done, done, done, done, done, done, done, done. Easy. We lost our game, and we're out of the playoffs. She fell asleep on the ride home and I transisitioned her right into bed where she slept until 6:30am. Easy. We got up, she took a bath, she pooped in the bath, I cleaned it up. Easy. We played for a while, I got dressed, we ate, we played, she got dressed, we played, I packed her lunch, we left and I made it into work at my normal time. Easy.




Have you ever seen a little girl so prepared to take on the world?

Dizzy Gillespie

Kym only allowed me to post this if I promised everyone would turn off thier volume. So, turn it off...


hey! it's not off yet...


ok, now check out the moves..

The Presents of a 14 month old

Yesterday I worked from home with Kenslee. As I worked in the office she roamed around the house. Every once in a while she would come in the room, hand me something with a big smile on her face and walk away. I collected them all.

1. Sippy cup of water.
2. PAL Token so I can log into work. I lost it and searched for about 15 minutes. I gave up and had to call in to our help desk so I could connect. As soon as I hung up she pulled it out of thin air.
3. Can of Tomato Sauce. Which meant she got into the pantry.
4. Pieces to something that was not completely put together. I have no idea where she got them from or what they're to.
5. Directions on how to put one of her toys together. Again, no clue where she got that.
6. Magnolia DVD. She's got good taste. And she got into the Entertainment Center.
7. Q-Tips. 10 of them. She got into the bathroom cabinets.

I'm thinking of having a Yard Sale with all my treasures.

It Mundaneity a word?

I'll preface this by saying Kym and I have a great relationship. I love her to death and she loves me to death. We rarely fight. I couldn't live without her and she often tells me how she couldn't survive without me. We complement each other perfectly. I'm the yin to her yang, she's the Scotty Pippen to my Michael Jordan.

So, that leads me to this. I'm a great husband and dad when it comes to most things, but when I do certain, more mundane things I can guarantee I did them wrong. If the waitress takes our drink orders while she's in the bathroom I'm sure to order the wrong thing for her. If I go shopping at Redners, Acme had the better deals. If I go shopping at Acme, Genuardi's had the better deals. If I go shopping at Genuardi's, Superfresh had the better deals. She's pretty much stopped asking me to do most household chores. I always get the details wrong.

So, now... take a close look at the below picture. Try not to be blinded by the flash in the window or the cuteness in the toddler.



Her belt:
a) Does not match
b) Is upside-down
c) Looks fine
d) who cares?
e) Go F yourself

Tell the truth. I can take it. I know you all like her better anyway.

Home

And something not good is going on in life. I've started a new blog because I feel the need to write but I don't want it out there to the whole World Wide Internets. If you care to read it, email me. tim328atcomcastdotnet

PS, Kym, Kenslee and I are all ok.

We interrupt this lack of blogging

For more lack of blogging. Today Kym and I have half days and we're heading to Myrtle Beach. We're stopping at her parents in Va., then starting back up in the middle of the night. All in all, it will be about 10-11 hours in the car. With a 14 month old. Can't wait!!

Pretty Cool

I've mentioned them here before, but not in a while. I have a friend who has natural triplets. Him and his wife had a kid then when he was about 3 months old she got pregnant again. First they were told it was one, then they were told it was twins, then they were told it was triplets. They have four kids within a year of each other. They were actually the hospital's first triplets. Well, check this out...






See that baby in the bottom right corner? That's one of them. Starting this week they take over the role of Spike on All My Children.

Pretty fuckin cool, huh?

Blog worthy weekend

Friday afternoon Kym picked me up and we left for the shore at 4:30. It was the first time in our 5 trips to the shore that we left right after work on Friday. Big mistake. As we sat in dead still traffic 5 miles from my work Kym remembered that she forgot to grab my bag. With traffic dead stopped in the other direction as well our options were this: First, drive the 10 miles - 45 minutes to the next exit of the highway and turn around, which would add about 2 hours to our normal 2 hour drive. Or, I could wear the clothes on my back for the whole weekend. I chose option number two and we continued to the shore.

As I said our normal trip is 2 hours, but we left in the middle of rush hour, so an hour and 45 minutes into the trip we were still in PA. Less than halfway there. I made the executive decision as we were passing by Citizens Bank Park to stop and go try to see the Phillies lose thier 10,000th game. We failed to see the moumental loss as they pulled out the win.

OK, so I wrote the above about 4 hours ago and then got busy.. so I'll recap the rest of the weekend real quick... beach, dinner, beers, drinking games, midnight, bikes, skate park, half pipe, fall, blood, etc.

Blackmail Buster

Did you guys see those racy photos of that total slut Miss New Jersey? I can't believe they're letting her keep her crown after seeing how wild and crazy she is! She's basically a porn star based on those pictures. Heck of a good idea for whoever was blackmailing her.

Her releasing of those photos has inspired me to come forth as well. I know it may effect my position in the blogging world, but I think it's better for me to put them out there rather than have them be released later. This is very difficult for me...


If you've been reading my blog for a while you might remember this picture:



I claimed it was from donating blood. That was a lie. I'm a total drug addict.

Next up, this picture from when I was 5 years old:



I claimed to have hit my head so I was icing it down. In reality I had a nasty hangover.

I look like an innocent baby here...



But I was really hopped up on vicodin and vodka.

And finally this embarassing one...

Yes, I had no pants on.

I hope my releasing of these does not ruin my blog cred.

If a blog falls in the Blogger, does anyone read it?

Today I started to wonder if anyone would still read my blog if I wrote as boring as I feel. Like, if I simply detailed my day with no wit or sarcasm or interestingness. Would anyone still visit my site? Here's an example of today:

Today for the second day in a row Kenslee didn't wake up on her own. We were able to get ready for work before waking her up at around 7:15. Then we changed her and fed her and ate breakfast on our own. Today I ate sushi. Kenslee is driving these days, so she went to daycare on her own while I rode my scooter into work and logged in. I checked to see if the Phillies all sucked in the All Star game last night and they did. I did some work then I took a nap under my desk. I woke up and then I went to the gym. I swam 6 miles and ran 18 miles. I got back to work in under an hour and had a chicken mango salad. Then I started to write this horrible blog post. Then after I posted this I did some work.* Then I went home. There was a free concert in the park by our house planned for tonight so we packed up and got ready to check it out. But, as we walked out the door it started raining. So we went back in the house and played charades. I did the best charade for Kid (Kid from Kid N Play, not like a little kid kind of kid. (Kid is the one with the big hair!)). You should have seen it. Then I went to bed.
* I assume this is how the rest of my day will go.

Back in the sad, sad, saddle

So, I'm back from vacation and you know what I've got for you? Nothing!

Anyone watching Big Brother? It's amazing already. How can reality tv get any better than gay guys accusing each other of being the one that cheated and gave the other gonorrhea? It can't, thats how.