Really Google? Really?

Beatrice Potter gets her own Google graphic? Really? Who's next, Joey Potter? Maybe Beatrice Authur? Really Google? Really? Let it be known that my birthday is in September and I fully expect my own Google Graphic. This is a warning Google, or I'll switch my search engine and the google trends for "boobs" and "big boobs" and "boobs and butts" will fall drastically!

is this thing on?

I wish I could return from my I'm-too-tired-and-I'm-too-busy-to-blog hiatus with something spectacular like Starburst porn. But, I'm too tired and lazy.

Family

I haven't written on my other other blog yet this year, so I thought I'd update. And I may as well just do it here. My brother will be 11 months sober next week and is doing great. He works during the day as a mason and is going to school for psychology. He made the Dean's List in his first semester back, something no one in the family has ever done. He's got a girlfriend that has gone through everything he has gone through, which I think is good. Everything's going very well for him and our family. (knock on wood)

It melts my heart like the heat of a thousand suns

Part 2

It melts my heart like the heat of a thousand suns

It's already posted on my baby blog, but I have to post it here too because I love it so much...

1. I love the way she says "burday"
2. I love the happiness on her face as she sings to me.
3. I love the way she skips the second verse because, really, it's the same as the first
4. I love the way she pretends to blow out the candles as she gives me a kiss
5. I love the way she says "daddy-o" the second time
6. I love the way she breaks into some foriegn language at the end and
7. the way she says "umm.." as if she confused herself with the words she just spoke.




and by the way, it was her burday, not mine.

Love

Last night I watched a movie called Rocket Science. At the end a kid asks his dad his thoughts about love. It got me thinking of how I'd answer that if my kids asked me in 15 years. I have no idea. I'd imagine I'd want to relate it back to how Kym and I fell in love, but that was an odd situation. We worked together for a few months before ever meeting, or me knowing she was a hot chick. So I went through some of my dating history and thought of this one that think is interesting.

It was the summer of 2001 and I was at a club with two friends. My one friend, who's life revolves around how many phone numbers he could get, was off picking up chicks. My other friend and I were talking and checking out all the girls we weren't going to talk to when one of them came up to us. Apparently my friend was hitting on her friend, so she came over to talk to us. She told us she was from Madrid Spain, which she claimed was obvious from her heavy accent... which she didn't have. The odd sense of humor had me intrigued and we talked and I got her phone number at the end of the night. After waiting the standard 3 days to call, I did and we set up to meet the next weekend. It was one of about a handful of actual, real dates in my life. I told my roommates I'd probably meet them at a party a few hours later when the date tanked. But it didn't. By the end of the night we had found a chess board on a park bench (she killed me) then swing danced through the streets of Philadelphia (I was drunk and Swingers was my favorite movie and a girl I once dated wanted to take lessons so I did). It was a good date and we agreed to go out again.

When I called her a few days later she told me she had great news. She was moving to Ecuador. Rejected by the old I'm Moving to Ecuador Story again. A few weeks later I actually got a post card from Ecuador (who knew there were Ecuadorian post cards?). Then a few months later she called me saying she was in town at a conference and asked to meet up for lunch. She had an hour. I met up with her and a friend for an awkward lunch and said goodbye. I never heard from her again.

But, when I left her that day I walked across the street to a Banana Republic and bought my favorite t-shirt ever. SCORE!

The birds nest situation

A few weeks ago an old work friend of Kym's came over to visit and she brought us a hanging pot plant. Kym hung it out on the front porch. About 3 days later Kenslee and a neighbor were playing out front and this robin just kept bouncing around and flying up to the plant. I looked and saw the bird had built a perfectly formed nest in there already... with several eggs laid.

Kym, unwilling to let the flowers die, continued to water them even with the nest in there. When she would water them the mama bird flipped out. She'd fly back and forth between the trees in our yard to the roof, to the rain gutter, screaming at her the whole time. When the eggs hatched she got even more aggressive. Sometimes calling in backup. There'd be 3 or 4 birds doing the same thing. Becoming more and more brazen with swoops towards the nest as Kym was watering the flowers.

Using her 39th week of pregnancy as an excuse for her fear of the birds she had me water them yesterday. We use a big pitcher of water and I emptied about 90% of it into the pot with the mama bird doing her normal squawking/swooping. As the water drained from the pot I went to empty the last little bit into the pot and as I did so one of the baby birds freaked out, hopped up, and tried to take flight. It jumped, started heading straight for the ground flapped it wings, caught some air, flapped again, and flew right into Kym's car in the driveway. It laded safely and started hopping under her car. In the meantime mama bird got super pissed and called her backup. There were about 6 birds going crazy. 2 birds helping the baby bird and another 4 wreaking havoic. In a panic Kym, Kenslee and I ran in the house for cover.

Feeling extremely bad I went out the back door and walked around the house to survey the situation. When I got out front the baby bird was gone. There was still a little bit of chaos going on around the trees in the yard, but I saw no trace of the baby who tried to fly. I can only assume she was scooped up by a wild puma, or cougar, or bald eagle, or leopard, or lion.

I went back inside and looked out my window at the nest and the other baby bird was now sitting on the edge of the nest. She looked scared and alone and she looked like she was about to try to fly herself. I watched for a few minutes before I got bored. Again, I can only assume she was eaten by a wild Asain or African-based carnivore because this mornign there was nothing but an Empty Nest.

Breaking News

Since I've mentioned it before, I'll write this now... my Sister-in-law who has now been in the hospital for 8 weeks was supposed to have a c-section today, 4 weeks before her due date. She was told yesterday that they overbooked the c-sections today and she'd have to wait an extra day. It upset her so much to wait one more day that she went into labor and her water broke last night. The baby was born, 6lbs 12 oz. All are doing well.

Last Weekend

Last weekend we spent a night in the Pocono Mountains for a wedding. We stayed in this awesome house on Lake Wallenpaupack. (Site of the Booze Cruise Episode of The Office.) The house was this amazing million dollar house with a hot tub on the deck over looking the lake and they had a pool table, a shuffle board table, a bubble hockey machine, darts, and everything awesome. The wedding was kinda boring, my brother (who is approaching 10 months sober) and his girlfriend left early to go home and play scrabble. When I got home I joined in and dominated them with awesome spelling skillz.

As I said, the house was amazing and we took a grand total of one picture:

Can't Heidi Klum's husband be arrested for this kind of behavior?

Link

Green, Grass, Grace

I was just reading someone's blog who's name I won't mention unless she wants me to. But, someone commented that "The grass is always greener..." And it got me thinking.

The grass IS always greener. Seriously. My grass sucks. It's brown with bare spots all over. It's got tons of weeds and crab grass. Last night I took my daughter for a walk and when we got to the end of the block she lied down on my neighbor's grass and spread out like she was in bed. She won't even touch our grass. I hate my grass.

My wife on the other hand is the best in the neighborhood.

The worst named illness since chickenpox

So my daughter came home with a letter from her Daycare the other day that one of the children in her class came down with Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. When you first hear that, you immediately think of that disease where they had to shut down Europe and you had to throw away the hamburgers and the cows and sheep were just randomly exploding and whatnot. Right?

Well, it turns out that was Foot and Mouth disease. Not Hand Foot and Mouth disease. Duh! Hand Foot and Mouth Disease is kind of like a mild case of the flu where you get bumps on the aforementioned parts of your body that neither burn or itch. It goes away itself after a few days.

So, my question is could they really think of no other names for this illness other than basically the same name as that one that caused the Potato Famine back in 1999?


Oh, and she may or may not have it. It's kind of like when someone has a sore throat and then suddenly you feel like you might have a sore throat, or it may just be in your mind. That's exactly what hand foot and mouth disease is like.

Baby Names 2.2

Kym and I have narrowed down our baby name choices once again. Please vote for your fav!

Free Web poll for your Web site - freepolls.com

we are also open to any more hip pop-cultural names if anyone can think any that could be cooler than these (though that's not likely!).

Rock The Vote

So Hillary won Pennsylvania yesterday I hear. I didn't vote. I didn't vote because voting is for nerds. I started blogging almost 4 years ago right before the 2004 elections. All everyone could blog about was blah blah blah Al Gore. It seems most bloggers are democrats? I didn't vote then, but I'm thinking about voting this November. With Hillary back in the hunt now I'm thinking more and more about putting my vote out there. My vote, of course, will be based solely on the hotness of whatever chick will be in the white house.

Hillary, sorry, but you've got no chance for my vote.




Barack's wife? Not bad.



Now Cindy McCain. That's what I'm talking about. I bet she has nothing on under that coat.



But, my real hope is that a new contender will pop up. I'm hoping that contender is a certain Texan polygamist. I'd love to be checking out these hotties for the next 4 years.

question

My Sister in law has been in the hospital for about 3 or 4 weeks now (pregnancy problems). So, my brother is at home with his daughter alone. If you were (or are) a single parent, what would you struggle with the most? I'd say doing the dishes. Or laundry. Or buying clothes for my daughter. Or being able to keep up with my favorite tv shows.

bored?

I joined M and K's training blog to try to keep each other motivated in our running/biking/swimming. Though never of them has written in a week now, so I don't know how well it's working out...

Two things I hate

1. Thinking I'm cool when I stumble across an amazing song on Sirius only to find out it's a year old and then I feel like that kid in the corner that doesn't take baths and nobody talks to.



2. Not having it on my ipod before I go for a 9 mile run today.

What the hell are you asking me for?

Who will get kicked off American Idol tonight?

Every Wednesday my blog is overrun with people begging to find out the answer to this question. I wrote a post about that 2 years ago and people still go to that post for an answer. So, here's my "Who will get kicked off American Idol tonight?" post for the year.

So, who will get kicked off because their song chocie was too boring? Everyone. Dolly Parton night? Come on now. And no one even did the White Stripes version of Jolene. Every sucked. Everyone should go. And by "everyone" I mean the producers who thought that would be a good idea. American Idol should only be on the air for the month of auditions, then they should crown the winner. I only gets more boring after that. I predict they have to kick everyone off tonight because not a single person voted.