My best friend died today. My best friend from high school more specifically. We played basketball everyday. We inspired each other to play better, to jump higher, to dunk. We played video games until 5am. I brought him on family vacations. We had more fun than you can imagine. We got in more trouble than you can imagine. I grew out of it. He did not. He became an alcoholic and could not stop. He had a son 6 months ago and could not stop. I don't even know how or why he died right now, but he is gone.
Imagine he biggest asshole you ever met and times it by ten. That was Lenny. Imagine the funniest person you ever met and times it by ten. That was Lenny. Imagine the best friend you ever had and times it by ten....
You think of someone and the dominate thought is that of alcoholism. I can't help but think that. But right now I think of the time in high school that he came to the shore with me. In about 3 minutes he convinced two girls we met to meet in the beach at 3am that night. They actually did. And we actually were sober for a change, making out with these girls under an astoroid shower until 5am when my parents noticed we were gone and found us walking home. We had to weed the entire beach property the next day as punishment. We could have cared less. The price of a good clean time as high schoolers.
I could tell a million other stories. My parents could tell many of those same stories, which ended much worse than two kids picking weeds. As a parent I know I will end up telling a lot of bad stories about my kids, but I pray there is never a story that ends up like Lenny's story has ended. I love you brother.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
DOE!
The trail I run on is about 10 feet wide with a short fence on each side. There are often deer just on the other side of the fence, but today when I was running there was a deer in the middle of the trail. As I got closer and closer it looked at me with no intention of moving. I got closer and closer and he/she just stared at me. I veered to the far side of the trail, and just kept running. About 3 feet from the deer. So, this makes me question: Why the hell do hunters feel the need to hide in trees to shoot these stupid things?
Monday, January 04, 2010
Snip, Snip
About a month ago I had a vascetomy, so I figure I'd share the delightful experience. After much discussion and hearing a bit too much screaming and crying over the past few years, Kym and I decided we're done with kids. We love the ones we got and we don't need to add anymore madness to our lives. We went to the Dr., watched an awesome 80s film on the topic, and was scheduled for the procedure about two weeks later. Faster than we thought it would be, but we felt ready to make the step.
The appointment comes and I'm called back to the room. I was given the option to have Kym come in with me, but I declined, knowing she'd put some last minute thoughts in my head and I wouldn't get it done. So, I strip my pants off and lie totally uncomfortably back on the table. I hear some activity, then, whoa, the nurse is rubbing me down with some sanitary stuff. She then very carefully encases my nutsack in four pieces of operating paper stuff and tells me to not touch anything down there and walks out of the room. I'm left there for at least 10-15 minutes, unable to put my arms below my waist and regretting everything about the experience. Then the doc comes in and does his thing. There was a small pinch, then about 20 minutes of uncomfortable tugging and utter and complete awkwardness.
I go home, put ice on my balls, and look up stories of vascetomey regret on the internet. After a few days the hardcore pain went away, as did the regret. I'm now 4 weeks post procedure and I still don't feel 100%. I've talked to several people who were back to normal in a few days, but I've got lingering random pain in the nuts. It's annoying, but I'm told it will eventually go away. My superpowers will return to me before long.
The appointment comes and I'm called back to the room. I was given the option to have Kym come in with me, but I declined, knowing she'd put some last minute thoughts in my head and I wouldn't get it done. So, I strip my pants off and lie totally uncomfortably back on the table. I hear some activity, then, whoa, the nurse is rubbing me down with some sanitary stuff. She then very carefully encases my nutsack in four pieces of operating paper stuff and tells me to not touch anything down there and walks out of the room. I'm left there for at least 10-15 minutes, unable to put my arms below my waist and regretting everything about the experience. Then the doc comes in and does his thing. There was a small pinch, then about 20 minutes of uncomfortable tugging and utter and complete awkwardness.
I go home, put ice on my balls, and look up stories of vascetomey regret on the internet. After a few days the hardcore pain went away, as did the regret. I'm now 4 weeks post procedure and I still don't feel 100%. I've talked to several people who were back to normal in a few days, but I've got lingering random pain in the nuts. It's annoying, but I'm told it will eventually go away. My superpowers will return to me before long.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Winter Ale and European Lager (and mix)
96 bottle of beer on my floor, 96 bottles of beer..
I think it's pretty safe to say my creative writing here is done, so I figure I'll write about homebrewing when I get the urge.
Tonight I bottled two beers. My 3rd time doing the same European Lager, and a Winter Ale I threw together.
When Kym got me the brewing equipment the guy at the store also sold her a simple Coopers European Lager and 3 lbs DME. It's a yellow beer drinker favorite and I've made it about every 3 months since I first started brewing early this year.
I wanted a Winter Ale and wasn't too into all the kits I looked at. They seemed too spicy or too dark. I wanted a mildly spicy Amber ale, so I made up my own.
1/2 Crystal 60
1/2 Carapils 20
6.6 lbs Amber liquid extract
1 oz Vanguard 60 min
1 oz Cascade 15 min
Wyeast 1028 London Ale
spices (10 min)
1/4 t nutmeg
1/2 t 1loves
1/2 t ginger
1 t vaniall extract
2 cinnamon sticks
O.G 1.050
F.G 1.016
When bottling tonight I decided to try something different. I took a gallon from each of the fermentors and mixed then and got about a case worth of a european winter lager/ale. We'll see how that turns out...
I love my homebrews but they don't taste as good as this Dogfish Punkin Ale did.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
What I did on my summer vacation
Every Christmas since Kenslee was born I made a video much like the following for my parents and Kym's parents. The Christmas one is longer and more fine tuned, but some of the lyrics to this song I like so much (not the vulgar ones) I decided to make a summer vacation video.
I'm undecided as to if I want to put it on the Christmas video for the grandparents because of those few lyrics, so I'm just putting it here for now.
I'm undecided as to if I want to put it on the Christmas video for the grandparents because of those few lyrics, so I'm just putting it here for now.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Friday, July 03, 2009
Benign is the greatest french sounding word in the English Language
Kym will probably get mad at me for posting this, but whatever.
A few months ago Kym started having blackouts. She'd lose vision for a few seconds, then be ok. After seeing the doctors a few times they ordered a cat scan. They found clogged sinuses, which is most likely the cause when combined with low blood pressure. But they also found pollups on her parotid gland. They ordered an MRI on that, where they found a tumor on her thyroid. The tumor has calcification, and with the help of google, we found some wonderful studies that told us that means there is an 80% chance the tumor is cancer. On Monday she had all three lumps biopsied. The results were released to the doctor yesterday and after about 10 calls and 24 brutal hours of waiting they called back, and we found all results are benign. One of the pollups showed benign results, but there was a limited sample so they want to do it again. Which sucks, but it's a thousand million times better than the way we felt a few days ago.
The fatality rate of thyroid cancer is really low, but we had to prepare for the worst. Imagine how you'd feel losing your spouse. Imagine a doucebag like me trying to raise two manical kids alone. It hasn't been a fun few weeks. But things are looking up. We have several appointments next week. She may still need sugery, or she may still need radioactive treatment. She still needs to get the sinus issues resolved. But, it's not cancer, and I can sleep now.
A few months ago Kym started having blackouts. She'd lose vision for a few seconds, then be ok. After seeing the doctors a few times they ordered a cat scan. They found clogged sinuses, which is most likely the cause when combined with low blood pressure. But they also found pollups on her parotid gland. They ordered an MRI on that, where they found a tumor on her thyroid. The tumor has calcification, and with the help of google, we found some wonderful studies that told us that means there is an 80% chance the tumor is cancer. On Monday she had all three lumps biopsied. The results were released to the doctor yesterday and after about 10 calls and 24 brutal hours of waiting they called back, and we found all results are benign. One of the pollups showed benign results, but there was a limited sample so they want to do it again. Which sucks, but it's a thousand million times better than the way we felt a few days ago.
The fatality rate of thyroid cancer is really low, but we had to prepare for the worst. Imagine how you'd feel losing your spouse. Imagine a doucebag like me trying to raise two manical kids alone. It hasn't been a fun few weeks. But things are looking up. We have several appointments next week. She may still need sugery, or she may still need radioactive treatment. She still needs to get the sinus issues resolved. But, it's not cancer, and I can sleep now.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Rush Hour 5K (at SEI, Oaks, Perkiomen Trail)
aka, the best 5K ever. I did my best time ever, got 3rd in my division, and blah blah blah.
Here's the good part. Free beer and food. Bud, bud light, bud light lime. Beamish and Magners Irish Cider. Bluberry Vodka/sprite/lemonade drinks. Buffalo and BBQ wings, pasta, brownies, flank steak, Q-Doba tacos, pizza, more pasta, duck, bruschetta, fruit smoothies, fruit on a stick, cookies on a stick, ice cream.
And I ate and drank it all just to support a good cause. Damn, I'm good person.
Here's the good part. Free beer and food. Bud, bud light, bud light lime. Beamish and Magners Irish Cider. Bluberry Vodka/sprite/lemonade drinks. Buffalo and BBQ wings, pasta, brownies, flank steak, Q-Doba tacos, pizza, more pasta, duck, bruschetta, fruit smoothies, fruit on a stick, cookies on a stick, ice cream.
And I ate and drank it all just to support a good cause. Damn, I'm good person.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Puma Complete Vectana Review
I bought a new pair of sneakers today that just hit the market. I got home and googled them and found nothing about them, almost no one even sells them yet, so I figured I'd write a review to help people out.
The Puma Vectana is a blue and grey sneaker. Blueish. And Grey. Grey, or Gray? Or is that Silver? I'm not sure.
As you can see, the Vectana has a webby looking thing in the front, so maybe they were made for spiders? I only got two in my shoebox, so that sucks that spiders would have to buy four pairs of them at $99.99 a pair.
But, wait, I just turned it around, and there's a tiger on the other side. Or, is that a cheetah? Hang on a sec while I google the cheetah girls to see if this is what they look like... nope, that's not a cheetah. Probably a jaguar. Definitely an animal that can run fast, because that's what these sneakers do. When I was little I could always run faster and jump higher when I got new sneakers and the same holds true here. In fact, these should be called Segways, not sneakers because they actually did all the running for me. I put them on, and they just go. I fell asleep halfway through my run tonight and they just kept on going and eventually brought me home. Not to my home because they don't know my neighborhood yet, but they brought me to a home. I can't complain about a sneaker that treats me that well.
But for real, if any runners do find this, I've never done a shoe review, so I wouldn't know where to begin. I've had 5 pairs of Puma Tenos in the past 3 years, so that's what I'm used to. These seem to be more cushioned in the heel, and I feel like there's less room in the toebox. I only ran 2 miles tonight, so I really won't be able to tell how much I like them until I get out for a few more runs.
The Puma Vectana is a blue and grey sneaker. Blueish. And Grey. Grey, or Gray? Or is that Silver? I'm not sure.
As you can see, the Vectana has a webby looking thing in the front, so maybe they were made for spiders? I only got two in my shoebox, so that sucks that spiders would have to buy four pairs of them at $99.99 a pair.
But, wait, I just turned it around, and there's a tiger on the other side. Or, is that a cheetah? Hang on a sec while I google the cheetah girls to see if this is what they look like... nope, that's not a cheetah. Probably a jaguar. Definitely an animal that can run fast, because that's what these sneakers do. When I was little I could always run faster and jump higher when I got new sneakers and the same holds true here. In fact, these should be called Segways, not sneakers because they actually did all the running for me. I put them on, and they just go. I fell asleep halfway through my run tonight and they just kept on going and eventually brought me home. Not to my home because they don't know my neighborhood yet, but they brought me to a home. I can't complain about a sneaker that treats me that well.
But for real, if any runners do find this, I've never done a shoe review, so I wouldn't know where to begin. I've had 5 pairs of Puma Tenos in the past 3 years, so that's what I'm used to. These seem to be more cushioned in the heel, and I feel like there's less room in the toebox. I only ran 2 miles tonight, so I really won't be able to tell how much I like them until I get out for a few more runs.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I went to New York and all I got were these pictures of New York
My brothers and dad met my cousin and uncle in Jersey City the other day and we hopped a train to NYC, then a subway to Yankee Stadium to watch the Phillies put on a clinic for the Yankees (in 11 innings). I planned to document the trip in pictures culminating in pictures of my bros and me and my dad in front of the field, but then didn't feel like taking those pics. So I'm left with these.
My uncle works on Wall Street, but the address they use is the side alley behind his building because he sells Catholic School Books and the nuns and priests wouldn't approve. Shhh, don't tell.
A-Rod striking out I'm sure.
The amount of tourists taking pictures of and looking at ground zero is absurd. There's tarps around 95% of it and people take pictures of the tarps. I don't get it.
My uncle works on Wall Street, but the address they use is the side alley behind his building because he sells Catholic School Books and the nuns and priests wouldn't approve. Shhh, don't tell.
A-Rod striking out I'm sure.
The amount of tourists taking pictures of and looking at ground zero is absurd. There's tarps around 95% of it and people take pictures of the tarps. I don't get it.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Free Shit
On Thursday after 40 days and 40 nights of rain we finally got a break in the weather and I was able to mow the lawn. As I was mowing it, I grew more and more angry at my non-English speaking neighbor. He got a delivery of mulch in his driveway and it was the shittiest smelling mulch I've ever been a witness to. Add that to the fact that the grass I was cutting was about 7 feet high, and it was not a happy night for me. As I was finishing up my front lawn he started approaching me. We've lived there for 4 years and he's never crossed the street. I felt a fight coming on. He must have sensed my anger. I stopped my mower and prepared for some sort of ninja attack. He made a strange motion and said something I didn't understand. I got in the karate kid crane position when I realized he was offering me his mulch. "too much, too much" he said. I relaxed and spent the next hour wheeling mulch from his house to mine. I couldn't pass up free shit.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Broadstreetrun
This weekend I ran the Broad Street Run. 10 miles through Philly. My goal was to do it under 70 minutes (under 7 minutes per mile). I crushed that time by 6 seconds. My original plan was to go out hard for the first 5 miles then try to hang on. I only made up to mile 3 hard, but I was still able to hold on and accomplish my goal.
To note:
It was raining most of the race and not ideal weather, but better than the previous Sunday's 90 degrees.
I'm still sore, and have one black toenail from the pressure of running hard in wet shoes, but mostly ok.
A certain local female weatherwoman who I wrote about 2 years ago (and still get 2-3 daily hits so I won't write her name) also ran the race. I was able to beat her 2 years ago (nevermind she was 6 months pregnant). This year she beat me by 5 minutes and was the 38th fastest female overall.
I finished in 1005th place out of 23,172.
Yesterday I was in 983rd place, but somehow 22 more people beat me a day later.
The governor of PA stands on the street 6 miles in giving high fives and I was 2 feet past him before realizing I missed getting a high five for the 3rd year in a row.
I've run 267 miles so far in 2009. I ran 265 in all of 2008.
To note:
It was raining most of the race and not ideal weather, but better than the previous Sunday's 90 degrees.
I'm still sore, and have one black toenail from the pressure of running hard in wet shoes, but mostly ok.
A certain local female weatherwoman who I wrote about 2 years ago (and still get 2-3 daily hits so I won't write her name) also ran the race. I was able to beat her 2 years ago (nevermind she was 6 months pregnant). This year she beat me by 5 minutes and was the 38th fastest female overall.
I finished in 1005th place out of 23,172.
Yesterday I was in 983rd place, but somehow 22 more people beat me a day later.
The governor of PA stands on the street 6 miles in giving high fives and I was 2 feet past him before realizing I missed getting a high five for the 3rd year in a row.
I've run 267 miles so far in 2009. I ran 265 in all of 2008.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
uggh
My current favorite thing with my daughter is when I do something and she says "You're the best daddy!" and I say "No, you're the best!", "no, daddy, YOU'RE the best." repeat, repeat, repeat. If I do it enough she gets angry at me because she wants me to be the best.
For the past 16 weeks I've been training to run the Broad Street Run which is this weekend. It's a 10 mile run through philly and will be my 3rd year running it. A few weeks ago my training runs magically started getting faster and faster and I'm really excited to see just how fast I can run the 10 miles. When I have to walk after 4 miles I'll know I went too hard.
Approximately once a day I think of something I should write about then forget what it is 5 minutes later.
I always told myself I'd never offically quit blogging, but a few more shitty posts like this and I think my blogger card will be revoked.
For the past 16 weeks I've been training to run the Broad Street Run which is this weekend. It's a 10 mile run through philly and will be my 3rd year running it. A few weeks ago my training runs magically started getting faster and faster and I'm really excited to see just how fast I can run the 10 miles. When I have to walk after 4 miles I'll know I went too hard.
Approximately once a day I think of something I should write about then forget what it is 5 minutes later.
I always told myself I'd never offically quit blogging, but a few more shitty posts like this and I think my blogger card will be revoked.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Previously on theytriedtomakemegoto
Summer of 2007 I started a private blog which I stopped updating a while ago. Here's how the story went...
My brother is an alcoholic and entered rehab
He got out of rehab in high spirits and high hopes
He started to put his life back together and met a girl in the program
She relapsed at the same time a bunch of friends had fatal relapses.
The story picks back up...
He stayed with the girl for a short period of time, but they're no longer together.
He made the Dean's List at the local community college a few semesters in a row.
A few months ago some people from Bucknell University visited his school looking for candidates to attend their school. They held a meeting for all people interested and as they started they said if at any time you don't feel you're right for the program you may get up and walk out. We're looking for someone who is not exactly right out of high school, and a bunch of people got up and left. We're looking for someone who has maybe not had the easiest road to get here, and a bunch of people got up and walked out. They continued to talk about the type of people they were searching for and my brother fit every criteria. He went on a few interviews and the field was narrowed down. He was still in the running. Two weeks ago he went on the final interview and today got a letter. He has been accepted to the program to finish his last two years at Bucknell. Free of tuition. Free room and board. Free books and everything he needs.
When I graduated high school I didn't bother applying to Bucknell because I knew I wouldn't get in. I'm amazed and proud of the turnaround my brother has made and feel no need to have a private blog to write about it. I imagine that living on a college campus is not the easiest thing in the world for a recovering alcoholic, but I have no doubt he will shine.
My brother is an alcoholic and entered rehab
He got out of rehab in high spirits and high hopes
He started to put his life back together and met a girl in the program
She relapsed at the same time a bunch of friends had fatal relapses.
The story picks back up...
He stayed with the girl for a short period of time, but they're no longer together.
He made the Dean's List at the local community college a few semesters in a row.
A few months ago some people from Bucknell University visited his school looking for candidates to attend their school. They held a meeting for all people interested and as they started they said if at any time you don't feel you're right for the program you may get up and walk out. We're looking for someone who is not exactly right out of high school, and a bunch of people got up and left. We're looking for someone who has maybe not had the easiest road to get here, and a bunch of people got up and walked out. They continued to talk about the type of people they were searching for and my brother fit every criteria. He went on a few interviews and the field was narrowed down. He was still in the running. Two weeks ago he went on the final interview and today got a letter. He has been accepted to the program to finish his last two years at Bucknell. Free of tuition. Free room and board. Free books and everything he needs.
When I graduated high school I didn't bother applying to Bucknell because I knew I wouldn't get in. I'm amazed and proud of the turnaround my brother has made and feel no need to have a private blog to write about it. I imagine that living on a college campus is not the easiest thing in the world for a recovering alcoholic, but I have no doubt he will shine.
Friday, April 03, 2009
8 years
Yesterday marked my 8 year anniversary of working at the same company. Think of all the things one can do in 8 years. One could complete two terms of presidency and ruin a country. One could serve time in prison for involuntary manslaughter (I guess, I really have no idea). One could could have 10 non-twin kids, or 80 kids if you were an octomom every time you got knocked up. For me, 8 years means 5 more days of vacation. Bringing my annual vacation time to 6 weeks 2 days. If I really wanted to I could take off from November 18th until February 17th. How bad ass would that be?
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
April Fools!
So, I'm pregnant! Worlds 2nd pregnant man.
no, no, no...
So, I got in a car accident this morning and I'm in a coma.
no, no, no
So, I quit my job to pursue a full time blogging job because I've been so steady with updating this blog once a month
I actually did get my wife this morning. She called me on her way to work to warn me about cops on the road. When I got into work I sent her an email explaining how she had called me right as I was getting into my car and that made me forget to put my seatbelt on and was pulled over and given a $132 ticket for no seatbelt. She called me screaming about 30 seconds later. Ha! fool!
no, no, no...
So, I got in a car accident this morning and I'm in a coma.
no, no, no
So, I quit my job to pursue a full time blogging job because I've been so steady with updating this blog once a month
I actually did get my wife this morning. She called me on her way to work to warn me about cops on the road. When I got into work I sent her an email explaining how she had called me right as I was getting into my car and that made me forget to put my seatbelt on and was pulled over and given a $132 ticket for no seatbelt. She called me screaming about 30 seconds later. Ha! fool!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The New Dora
So, parents are outraged by the new Dora. Check her out, she's pretty slutty, huh?
Same jewelry, but look at that trashy dresspants thing! And the slutty thinned out bangs! Pretty unacceptable if you ask me. But the most unacceptable part of Dora? Her Explorer skills.
I mean, her nickname is the Explorer and she really doesn't explore shit. I went to high school with a dude named Druggie Dave. You know why that was his name? He was a druggie. Tonight I read a Dora book to my daughter and Dora found the Play Park. And the only reason she found the play park was because she had a friggen map.
You know who didn't have a map? Christopher Columbus. If the Earth were flat, he'd have been dead. And Ferdinand Magellan. He circled the Earth with no talking map in his backpack. Even my least favorite Explorer, Vasco Nunez de Balbo, who "discovered" the Pacific Ocean is a better Explorer than Dora. The guy walked a few miles, opened his eyes, saw water and became one of the most famous explorers in history. It's not all that much more than Dora, but he never had his own tv show.
On yesterday's episode of Dora the Explorer she discovered her house. Her own damn house. She went through the Spooky Forest, past the Nut Farm, and then to Dora's house. All with the help of that whiny map she checked 25 times along the way.
I don't care much about the new Dora's headband or fashion sense. But, I hope that she has learned some better exploring skills in her older, sluttier years.
Same jewelry, but look at that trashy dresspants thing! And the slutty thinned out bangs! Pretty unacceptable if you ask me. But the most unacceptable part of Dora? Her Explorer skills.
I mean, her nickname is the Explorer and she really doesn't explore shit. I went to high school with a dude named Druggie Dave. You know why that was his name? He was a druggie. Tonight I read a Dora book to my daughter and Dora found the Play Park. And the only reason she found the play park was because she had a friggen map.
You know who didn't have a map? Christopher Columbus. If the Earth were flat, he'd have been dead. And Ferdinand Magellan. He circled the Earth with no talking map in his backpack. Even my least favorite Explorer, Vasco Nunez de Balbo, who "discovered" the Pacific Ocean is a better Explorer than Dora. The guy walked a few miles, opened his eyes, saw water and became one of the most famous explorers in history. It's not all that much more than Dora, but he never had his own tv show.
On yesterday's episode of Dora the Explorer she discovered her house. Her own damn house. She went through the Spooky Forest, past the Nut Farm, and then to Dora's house. All with the help of that whiny map she checked 25 times along the way.
I don't care much about the new Dora's headband or fashion sense. But, I hope that she has learned some better exploring skills in her older, sluttier years.
Monday, March 16, 2009
So Close
Last night I had a dream that some guy was living in my attic without me knowing. One night he made the mistake of coming down to use the bathroom before I was asleep. I wrestled him to the ground until the cops came. I was naked. After the cops took him away I so excited that I would finally have something interesting to blog about. Unfortunately I do not.
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