Today at work we’re having our annual employee checkup type thing. We give a couple of vials of blood to be tested, and then we fill out an online survey about our health. They ask questions about your exercise, eating, drinking, safety, and general health habits. It’s one of the many times of the year I have to lie about my excessive crack cocaine/drinking/drinking and driving/bulimia and anorexia addictions. We get back an extensive analysis of our health and our blood. It’s like getting some expensive tests for free. And everyone who participates gets a discount on his or her health insurance. It’s a win-win-win situation. (I just looked on YouTube for a clip of The Office when they did the win-win-win situation about the poster that Angela loves of babies playing the saxophone, but I couldn’t find it.)
So, this morning I donated my blood and I’m praying I don’t end up like before. I should be fine, it was just a quick in and out job. Afterwards, I’m walking back to my desk when I see some dude being hauled off on a stretcher. Sweating like it’s 140 degrees, and shaking like it’s 140 below. His face looked to be preparing for death and it scared the shit out of me. And now I just heard three other people passed out from giving their blood. So, if this is my last post, tell my wife I
6 comments:
"vials of blood" makes me picture Angelina Jolie as a vampire
...think she's gorgeous and could she learn how to make homemade ravioli before she gets to the afterlife?
Quick in and out job...is that how your wife describes it?
Timophil:
Did you stand on that scale thingy that supposedly shoots electrodes or lasers or whatever into your body through your feet and they SUPPOSEDLY can tell your body fat? That thing is seriously lame. I'm a stick and tall and it said I have like 33% body fat. Fuckers.
SHow us your arm when you're done, okay?
So, are you wearing a shirt with babies playing jazz? Win-win-win
You're welcome.
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