Two posts in a row about the Sarah Silverman Program

And also about the absolute worst show ever, "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" I fast forwarded through the whole show in about 30 seconds. Jeff Foxworthy is not only one of the worst comedians in the world, but the absolute worst game show host. And these "5th graders"??!?? They're actors!!! "5th grader Laura":



Is Laura Marano who plays the motherless girl from last week's Sarah Silverman program who Sarah trains to win a beauty pageant:



If this show (Are you...) is still on the air next week I'm quitting my blog in protest.

My life is sooooo exciting.

Don't you get sick of coming to my blog and not seeing an update? I know I do.

Heroes is now officially better than Lost.

The Sarah Silverman Program is in the top 3 sitcoms on tv. (The Office, 30 Rock, TSSP)

I have to go to bowling league for Kym tonight. Tonight will be about the 5th time I go for her this bowling season (sept-now). My average is around 160, which is up 30 pins from last year, which makes no sense because I only bowl once a month. I do watch it on tv sometimes though, so I guess that's how I got better. Kinda like how I got really good in bed by watching porn.

A few weeks ago my bloglines account lost all the links I had. I was annoyed and not about to fix it. I still go back every few days to see if it self corrected. I know all the blogs I read are still on my sidebar, but I'm too lazy to click them to see if they're updated. If you've update since around Halloween time, let me know. I'll try to read your blog before Easter. Unless you don't celebrate Easter. Then you're going to burn in hell so I can't like your blog anyway.

Always the Bridesmaid

Last night there was a meeting to discuss how a deadly chemical, TCE, is in the air where we live. Yesterday there were news crews all over our neighborhood trying to get interviews and filming shots of the homes that will soon contain nothing but dead bodies. You can watch one of those reports here. I don't normally watch the Fox news, but the Fox did make my neighborhood look prettier than the local ABC affiliate did. I watched every local channel's coverage and on one I saw my neighbor's house up the street, on the other was my neighbor's house down the street. On this one they went into a neighbor two blocks down's house. Everyone around me was getting the attention. But my house is on none of the stories. I'm disappointed to say the least. Not so much about the fact that I'll be dead of cancer any day now, but it really would have been worth it if I got on the news and got to thank The Good Lord Above, God Almighty like all the rappers do when they're on tv. The rappers and my neighbors are so lucky.

I should be on the Maury Show or something

Last monday I got on the scale in my bathroom and it read 187.5. Tuesday after lunch I got sick and not a single piece of food entered my mouth until Thursday morning. And that came right back out. I still hadn't gotten my full appetite back when I felt good enough to go to the gym on Sunday. I ran 7 miles (nice!) and got on the scale. I weighed 178.5. I lost 9 pounds last week just by being sick then not eating much then exercising. 9 pounds! Do you realize how much weight that is?!? Here's some other things that weigh 9 pounds. Imagine dropping one of these out of your body:
- A bowling ball (one of those gay pink ones)
- A gallon of milk (plus a .38 pound weight)
- 1632 post-1982 pennies
- A big ass 9 pound baby.
- Two normal 4.5 pound twin babies
- 9 - 1 pound premature nintuplet babies.

So, basically I gave birth to 9 babies last week. And I'm up and running around this week!!! Some moms are such wimps.

Valenhog's Day

At lunch on Tuesday Kym and I went out to grab something to eat and her car broke down. $1000 to fix. I borrowed a coworkers car and drove home to get mine. Tuesday afternoon when it started snowing the baby's daycare called and said they'd be closing at 4. By 3:00 I knew something wasn't right with my stomach and I started nagging Kym to get out of there. By 5:15 on Tuesday night I got into bed and I've barely gotten out since. I've never taken two consecutive days off because of sickness until now. Kym hasn't either and she's on day three today because the baby is still sick. Our house is the like the sick ward at the Sick Person's Hospital for the Sick. It sicks big time.

V-Day

I've figured out what to do for Valentines this year. They're calling for 6-9 inches of snow Tuesday into Wednesday. So, what I'm going to do is get it to snow only in front of our house and in the shape of a giant heart. Here's what a google map of my neighborhood will look like on Wednesday. Genius!

edited!!

I'm not even going to bother trying

I know I can't top last year's Valentine's day, so I've decide to just pretend I'm sick and not get out of bed for the next week.

Motivation

At my Christmas lunch three of my coworkers and I made a pact to get in shape and run four races together this year. A 5 miler in April, The Broad Street Run (10 miles) in May, a half marathon in September, and a 10 mile trail run (which involves running through a calf-deep creek 3 times) at the park next to my house in October.

We were all drinking so I assumed it was all talk. As it turns out, it looks like everyone was serious. So, I had to get serious too. I printed out a traning schedule last week and I ran 5 miles at lunch today (to total 18 miles in the past 8 days). I have no point to this post other than to just write it because when I actually tell people I'm going to do something I force myself to do them. Like that time I walked across the country. on my hands.

Nerd

Even though I'm really busy at work and barely post anymore, somehow tonight I managed to post my 100th post on the baby blog. And this post right here? It's my 800th post on this blog. Pretty coincidental they're both landmark blogs. And they both suck.

It's my 800th, I should make it awesome. I can't wait until I think of something awesome to write right here.

Wing Bowl III

15 years ago Philly got sick of the Eagles not making it to the playoffs, so in order to create excitement in Philly around the Super Bowl they started the Wing Bowl. A bunch of fat guys eat as many wings as possible in a short amount of time. It's disgusting. Last year's winner ate 173 wings. The have to qualify by eating other disgusting stuff. Such as 3 pounds of baked beans in 1 minute, a 2 foot hoagie in 5 minutes, or 100 shrimp in 5 minutes. The tickets all go to charity and they sell all 20,000 of them in about 10 minutes.

My work started it's own Wing Bowl 3 years ago. It was this morning at 11:30. The contestants only eat 10 wing (hot) as fast as they can. Two guys tied at 1 minutes and 5 seconds. Pretty impressive. They had a Wing-off with 4 more wings and the same muther-fer has now won 3 years in a row. Total Wing Bowl whore he is.