Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Four more years! Four more years!

On this day 28 years ago I woke up with a hangover. I was 5 years old. As far as I can remember I wasn't drinking, but I was out all night. My dad brought me to South Philadelphia to watch the greatest sporting event in Philadelphia history. I don't remember all that much except that we drove down with his friend who had a van which he sold sirens out of, so he blared those sirens as we drove through the mayhem going on in Philly after the game. It was the coolest thing ever. Tonight the Phillies will hopefully start the series to repeat that mayhem and I couldn't be any more excited.

Also on this day in history, 4 years ago, I wrote my first blog post. 960 posts later and here I am. (plus 220+ posts on other blogs). Other things that last 4 years: High School, College, Presidental terms, ipods, 10% of marriages*, the average NFL career **, meat in a freezer***, and an artifical lung****. One thing that is unwaivering after 4 years is my love for you all. Many have come and gone and some have come back. Whether you've been reading for 4 years or 4 days I appreciate you more than you know. I get excited when I see a new post in my google reader, and I get even more excited when I see an increase in a comment count on my blog. I wouldn't still be doing this if it weren't for you. Thank you all.

* Just a guess
** maybe?
*** probably not
**** now I'm just making shit up

Monday, October 20, 2008

And now everything I know about McCan't

Ha! Those Mc jokes rule!

John McCain was a hero, as he was POW in Vietnam. I think a POW is kind of like a GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling), except he's not gorgeous, he's just Plain looking. I don't understand what's so heroic about wrestling in a foreign country, but whatever. Something I find odd about this election is how they never talk about how McCain was in jail for like 5 years in the 70s. Mike Tyson was only in jail for 4 years, so I'll go out on a limb and say Tyson will be president in 2096. Just when he's the same age as McCain, which is like 134. I read on the internet that McCain is so old he helped invent houses. And now he has 17. McCain also wants to overturn R v W, H&M, and AT&T. He doesn't understand Economics, Algebra, Calculus, Biology, and he got a C- in Spanish I. While you were reading this McCain just bought 6 more houses and slept with your spouse.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Joe the Terrorist

I have't been paying much attention to the presidental race, but after my last post I figured I'd study up. So, I decided to watch some videos on youtube. Did you guys know Obama is a Muslim? And an Arab? And a terrorist! He "lies with terrorists". Which I must assume means he sleeps with terrorist for money! And a lot of dead people voted for him. He has also strangled aborted babies with his bare hands and he secretly hates plummers. Obama wants to raise your taxes if you make more than $250 a year and will send you to Iraq if you disagree with him. Obama is a socialist which is REALLY bad. I assume. I don't know what that even means. But most importantly, Obama kicks puppies and he just peed in your drink while you were reading this.

Thursday, October 09, 2008


I threaten not blogging for a while and you all give up too, huh? Not a single new blog post today by anyone on my reader feeder. You all make me sick!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The Finish Line

My time is up. After 5 grueling days of blogging I've accomplished my goal. 5 glorious posts. Now I need a break. See ya in a month or two.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Day 3

This 5 weekday in a row commitment to blogging is taking it's toll. I can't think. I can't sleep. I've got a bloody nose. I've developed carpal tunnel. I'm itchy. I'm twitchy. And the hemorrhoids. God help me the hemorrhoids!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

The (vice presidential) Office tonight!

I hate politics more than anyone I know. And I know a lot of people. I have 43 Facebook friend. FORTY THREE! So, it's very odd for me to actually be excited about the vice presidental debate tonight. Since The Office and 30 Rock aren't on, it's definitely the 3rd most intersting thing on tv after It's Always Sunny and Survivor. First of all, we've got Biden. His wife was my wife's 10th grade English teacher. So, I'm sure he'll spend at least half the night talking about my wife. Then there's the disaster of Palin. I'm really looking forward to listening to the gems that come out of her mouth. BUT, as soon as they start talking about politics I'm turning that shit off.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Next Stop: Jerry Springers Book Club

At lunch today I finished reading The Road. I'd been reading it for about 2 months because it's boring as hell. It reminded me of the Hobbit. A lot of walking and a lot hiding from evil and a lot of nothing happening. I'm disappointed that I didn't like it because it was rated the number one book of the last 25 years by Entertainment Weekly, and it was in Oprah's Book club. I'm disappointed that my intellect doesn't measure up to Oprah's. I wonder if Rachel Ray or Dr. Phil have book clubs?

Over the past few days I've read one two great blogs/blog posts (plus Leezer and Jake have both made returns). They got me wanting to blog again. So, I'm going to make a 30 15 10 5 day (weekday) commitment to writing something. Anything. Even if it's uncomment worthy. I got into blogging because of blogs like those, and my blog was at one point like those. I wonder if I could ever get back to that or if I'm just resigned to updating every few weeks with something boring. Like this.