Monday, July 31, 2006

Over the past 6 days I’ve had approximately 3500 people visit my site looking at lance bass pictures. Approximately 3499 clicked on nothing but bass. Today one person actually looked at my sidebar and noticed that I make starburst porn and clicked on all of that. And it reminded me. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Holy Lance Bass is gay traffic!

I write one little post asking people who they think they hottest boy band member is and suddenly 88% of the traffic to my site is people looking to get a little piece of Man BAss. I'm literally getting 4-5 hits per minute of people looking for his picture. Imagine how many I'd get if I posted the ones from Lance and I's private collection!?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Harold and Kumar ruin everything

One early evening on vacation I settled in front of the tv. We don’t have HBO at home so I was pretty excited to watch some good movies. I avoided watching Entourage because it was my favorite show last year and I want to watch the whole season in a row. After watching Napoleon Dynamite for the 13th time I was ready for something new. And that’s when I discovered Harold And Kumar go to White Castle. It was really fuckin funny in a this-is-the-most-retarded-shit-I’ve-ever seen kinda way. I mean, does it get any funnier than seeing Doogie Howser doing a line of coke off a chicks ass sticking out of the sunroof of a car he stole after hitchhiking? I don’t think so.

After watching the last 45 minutes of that masterpiece my mood was just as bright when I went out on the balcony where Kym and her parents and Kenslee were hanging out. My mother in law was dancing like a fool trying to get my daughter to laugh and she was. A few minutes later Kym leaned over and kissed her dad on the cheek and on the lips and I knew something wasn’t quite right. Kym and her mom took the baby inside leaving me in what became an awkward silence with her dad. I went inside to get ready for Kym and I’s night out. While getting ready she told me her dad just told her he has cancer. It’s “only” prostate cancer if there’s such thing as “only” cancer. He gets treatment in September and won’t be able to hold the baby for several months and isn’t supposed to hug any women in their child bearing years. So, basically it got us off our lazy asses to get Kens baptized before then, and things aren’t super happy right now. And I definitely hate cancer more than I did 3 posts ago.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Back. Without a bang.

- My daughter is more and more like me everyday. She’s had my eyes since she was born. On vacation we found she has my love of swimming in the pool. And on the way home from vacation we found out she has my hatred for driving 680 miles in one day.
- I won a resort poker tournament. 4 tickets to a variety of local attractions. We picked miniature golfing. Titso’s mom beat me.
- I didn’t miss blogging when I was gone. I read blogs whilst gone, but I was too lazy and didn't care to write or usually to comment.
- I have the world’s worst fantasy baseball team.
- Looking at my statcounter it seems that the only people that visit here anymore are people looking for pictures of Brad Pitt’s penis and Adrienne Curry’s ass.
- You would think that since I was gone for a week I’d have at least one blog worthy experience. You’d be wrong in your thinking.

Friday, July 14, 2006

I'll be gone till November

Or maybe just all of next week. Have fun while I'm lying on the beach, playing in the ocean, golfing, and wrestling aligators. While I'm gone may I suggest you do one or more of the following that are just as fun as reading my blog?:

- kick a puppy
- learn oragami
- fake your own death
- actually die
- drink until you need to get your stomach pumped
- read the bible
- reenact every scene from the bible
- just go to work like you do everyday

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


I want to start this post off by telling you how much I hate cancer. I really hate cancer. It’s like, probably one of the worst diseases. Top 3 worst diseases. Cancer, AIDS, and some other disease I can’t think of right now are the top three. Not necessarily in that order.

So, naturally I was happy to see that Alex’s Lemonade stand was going to be coming to our work today. I get to have lemonade, and hate cancer at the same time. An unbeatable mix. Add the fact that Rita’s Water Ice would be here too, it’s pretty much the best cancer hating day at work ever.

So, I went out and grabbed lunch. I ate some delicious pizza and came back to work to settle in for a nice big glass of cancer hating lemonade. Unfortunately, my optional 2 dollar donation didn’t exactly yield me that tall, refreshing glass I was hoping for.

Still nothing??

I get so sick of looking at the same post for more than 2 days in a row. I keep coming back and hoping that I wrote and posted something new. Unfortunately, I still haven’t.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

A meeting of the 78,816th and 46,236th most famous bloggers in the world*

Titso and Tinapopo made plans to meet at a restaurant halfway between our houses at 7pm on Saturday night. The night got off to a late start as Tina and Andrew rolled in around 8:30, drunk, and smelling a little bit like crack cocaine. They stumbled to our table at the back of the restaurant. A quaint window table with a view of the dumpsters. We rose to greet them. "Ooohhh, Kenslee looks so much cuter in the pictures," she said. Odd, I thought to myself. She must have said that wrong. But, no. It turns out Tinapopo is a real bitch. "This is a real shitty restaurant you guys picked out." She then told us. Just then the waitress came to our table to take our orders. "I order you to take a shower you skank," Tina said before smacking the waitress in the ass. The rest of us ordered our food then Andrew asked to hold the baby. When we handed her over he threw her up in the air and drop kicked her across the restaurant. Then Tina pulled a Molotov Cocktail out of her handbag and burned the restaurant to the ground. As the smoke built they held guns to our back and forced us to smile for a picture.

* - according to technorati

Thursday, July 06, 2006

I like how firefox saves every blog title I've ever had when I go to type in a title here

If I can think of anything to write, I’ll do it later. Until then I bore you with this. Last night we beat the perennial champion softball team for only the 2nd time in the past 6 years. We’re getting better, hitting better, making little to no errors, plus we have me. I’m like Tony the Tiger. I’m grrrrreeeat!

In other news, I’ve exchanged emails with many bloggers. I’ve received cd’s from a couple of bloggers. And even received a baby shower present from a blogger. But I’ve never met one. Have you? Titso is supposed to be making plans for this weekend with a fellow blogger to hang out, get drunk, and talk about how much better our blogs are than yours. Jealous much?

Monday, July 03, 2006

World Cup Soccer Goalie

VoF reminded me this is why "football" is so gay.

Nobody's working today, so what's the point?

I was going to recap my weekend but I bored myself when I started. One point of interest was that I watched the Portugal/England World Cup game on Saturday. It was the biggest waste of two hours ever. I’ve now watched two games and not a single goal has been scored. Both games were decided by two of the most boring shootouts ever. How is the whole rest of the world so fascinated by this crap?