Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Celebration Day!!! part 2

Thursday is Celebration Day here at work. After a disaster last year, I'm hoping to bounce back and celebrate like crazy this year. Among the list of activities I'm set to kick ass in:

Football Throwing contest - I can throw a football over those mountains
NFL trivia game - I can name all 32 teams and the capital of the state they play in. Example: New York Giants: Capital City: Trenton
Limbo contest - I'm not gay
Pie Eating contest (Chocolate creme) - I don't eat anything with that little slash over the e.
Pumpkin decorating contest - My winning design
Penalty flag throwing contest - I don't even know what the hell that means, but it sounds like something I will rule.
College Mascot trivia game - College is for nerds
Volleyball, Frisbee, Badminton - I, will, dominate.

Friday, September 22, 2006

The great Entertainment debate of 2006

Since Softball Slut asked, here's what happened:

Last night we started to empty the entertainment center that is currently in the family room. The plan was to move the old tv, with that, to the basement. As we were pretty much done emptying it, I realized that the ec wouldn't fit around the bend to the basement. So, our options changed:

1. get rid of old entertainment center, buy a new entertainment center for downstairs, buy a second entertainment center, or whatever, for the family room.

2. Leave the old tv/ec upstairs, put the hdtv downstairs. Buy sofas, and an entertainment center for down there (or put it on the wall... still up in the air).

We went with option two. We have a giant finished basement with nothing in it. This will motivate us to furnish it. I will have to watch the philles and eagles in high def while sitting on a folding chair for now, but in about 2 months when downstairs is finished, and I have the full set up, including hdtv, surround sound, bar, foosball table, pool table, ping pong table, olympic sized pool, hot tub, water slide, and indoor track, I will be a very happy man.

Win. Win. Win.


File this show under things to never lay my eyes on.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Every Sunday I check to see if my Postsecret made it. I'm still saddened that it never did.

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Just agree with me

So, the wife and I are butting heads over what to do about the new TV we got. The cable guy is coming out of Friday to hook it up. The TV doesn't fit in our old entertainment center, so we have to get something new. I want to mount the tv to the wall and run the wires through the wall and down into a small entertainment unit to hold the tivo and dvd player... something cheap for like $100. The tv is somewhat light and will be dangerous in a few years when kenslee is old enough to grab at it. It's pretty much the best way. Here's what it would look like.

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Kym wants to get a whole new entertainment system for like a million dollars. Here's what that would look like.

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Obviously my way is better, right?

The Eagles ruined my birthday

Go read Popo's account of our dinner on Friday.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


A few months ago I noticed my statcounter was approaching 100,000 “unique visitors”. I thought that was pretty cool and I developed a plan. The plan was to have my 100,000th hit occur for the first person who looked at my blog on my two-year blogging anniversary. At that point the plan was to award that person with $100,000. $100,000 or 100,000 hugs. Visitor’s choice.

After a few weeks I noticed the number was getting closer to 100,000 faster than I planned. So, I started writing bad posts to keep people away. For nine straight months I wrote bad post after bad post and my plan seemed to be coming to fruition. Then Lance Bass got gay and my plan was shot to hell with about 10,000 hits. Actually, if you take away those LB hits, take away the Adrienne Curry hits, take away the naked Brad Pitt hits, take away the hits of me pressing the refresh button, take away the “chloraphil” google hits, and my actual number is somewhere around 47 unique visitors. So, to those 47 people that have read my blog over the past year and a half, I thank you.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I can’t remember the last time I did it twice in one day.

Today at work we’re having our annual employee checkup type thing. We give a couple of vials of blood to be tested, and then we fill out an online survey about our health. They ask questions about your exercise, eating, drinking, safety, and general health habits. It’s one of the many times of the year I have to lie about my excessive crack cocaine/drinking/drinking and driving/bulimia and anorexia addictions. We get back an extensive analysis of our health and our blood. It’s like getting some expensive tests for free. And everyone who participates gets a discount on his or her health insurance. It’s a win-win-win situation. (I just looked on YouTube for a clip of The Office when they did the win-win-win situation about the poster that Angela loves of babies playing the saxophone, but I couldn’t find it.)

So, this morning I donated my blood and I’m praying I don’t end up like before. I should be fine, it was just a quick in and out job. Afterwards, I’m walking back to my desk when I see some dude being hauled off on a stretcher. Sweating like it’s 140 degrees, and shaking like it’s 140 below. His face looked to be preparing for death and it scared the shit out of me. And now I just heard three other people passed out from giving their blood. So, if this is my last post, tell my wife I


Life is Good.

Eagles won. Redskins lost. Cowboys lost. Giants lost.

My fantasy team is 1-0 with high score for the week (Larry Johnson, Chester Taylor, Terrell Owens, Chris Chambers, Kellen Winslow, John Carney, The Bears, and Hasselbeck [though with the draft being Thursday, I was able to start Charlie Batch for last week]). I’m great.

Work is busy and that’s actually good.

Softball tournament on Saturday.

My birthday is Sunday.

The only thing bringing me down right now is the plans my wife made with Tinapopo for dinner on Friday.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Win, Lose, or Draw

The category is Action.... Ready? Go!

No... um... here...

close.... uh....

Right... ok sounds like...

Yes! you got it! or did you?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Yet another stressful day at work

It seems like I went through a four-year period where I had a total of four stressful days. Now, suddenly I have two in one week. A holiday shortened week at that! The presentation went well the other day. It was a major step at getting a promotion at the end of the year. But today’s stress seems to be ten times worse. Today’s stress involves making decisions that will greatly reward or greatly distress me, day in and day out, over the next 17 weeks.

Yes, tonight is my fantasy football draft. If I get the number one pick, who do I take? Is Tiki Barber worthy of the number 4 pick? I was let down by his scumbag New York counterpart, A-rod, in baseball this year. How early will Manning go? Do I dare draft TO at all? Today is the most stressful day of the year.

I tried to distract myself from the stress by rearranging the link list, but I think that only stressed me out more.

PS. Stressful, Plentiful, bountiful, beautiful, crapoful. Doesn't it seem like these words should have two l's on the end of them? I mean, it's basically just saying, Full of Stress. Shouldn't it be stressfull? Stupid.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

My parents never got divorced, but now I know what it feels like

First Queen of Pink disappeared, then Chuck hung em up, and now The Daily Dump has quit. Three of my favorite blogs gone within a week of each other. All three are on the top four link lines and none of them every bought me anything, so you know I just plain liked them. Three of the best, down the drain. I blame no one but myself.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


At 2 o’clock I have to give a two hour presentation that will be a major factor in my year end review in which I’m hoping to get a promotion. If I screw this up, I’ll probably be stuck in my same position for the rest of my life. Actually, I’ll probably be demoted to janitor. I haven’t given a real presentation since senior year in college nine years ago. I’m not a very good public speaker. Actually, I’m not a very good private speaker either. This sucks. I hate this shit. I hope the world ends in the next two hours.

********* UPDATE! ************

It went better than I expected. It was a lot more interactive two hours than I thought it would be. And I guess that's good, right? When your audience falls asleep: bad. When your auidence talks more than you: good. The only really scary part was when someone asked a question I couldn't answer. I started to get hot around the collar, then decided to rip my shirt off, hop up on the table, go to bablefish translator, and I yelled "¡míreme, yo están desnudo en la tabla con una pantalla en mi cabeza!" Though, I'm pretty sure bablefish was wrong because I always though table was "mesa", not "tabla". So, that was embarassing.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Best Dad Ever

No, not me. My dad.

Last night Kym and I sat down for dinner when the door rang. It was my parents. We finished up dinner as they played with the baby. After we finished they said they had a present for us. We went out the the car and helped them carry in a brand new 40 inch Sony HDTV. I don't know why he bought it for us, but I'm sure not complaining. How sweet is that??!?

Also, I'm still getting about 50 hits a day of retards looking for lance bass pictures. Does anyone know how to delete that post out so I don't get the hits? It's over a year old and more than 300 posts ago so I don't know how to get rid of it.