Monday, January 04, 2010

Snip, Snip

About a month ago I had a vascetomy, so I figure I'd share the delightful experience. After much discussion and hearing a bit too much screaming and crying over the past few years, Kym and I decided we're done with kids. We love the ones we got and we don't need to add anymore madness to our lives. We went to the Dr., watched an awesome 80s film on the topic, and was scheduled for the procedure about two weeks later. Faster than we thought it would be, but we felt ready to make the step.

The appointment comes and I'm called back to the room. I was given the option to have Kym come in with me, but I declined, knowing she'd put some last minute thoughts in my head and I wouldn't get it done. So, I strip my pants off and lie totally uncomfortably back on the table. I hear some activity, then, whoa, the nurse is rubbing me down with some sanitary stuff. She then very carefully encases my nutsack in four pieces of operating paper stuff and tells me to not touch anything down there and walks out of the room. I'm left there for at least 10-15 minutes, unable to put my arms below my waist and regretting everything about the experience. Then the doc comes in and does his thing. There was a small pinch, then about 20 minutes of uncomfortable tugging and utter and complete awkwardness.

I go home, put ice on my balls, and look up stories of vascetomey regret on the internet. After a few days the hardcore pain went away, as did the regret. I'm now 4 weeks post procedure and I still don't feel 100%. I've talked to several people who were back to normal in a few days, but I've got lingering random pain in the nuts. It's annoying, but I'm told it will eventually go away. My superpowers will return to me before long.

16 comments:

*pixie* said...

Oh, wow. Umm…congrats? Just make sure you're shooting blanks. You know?

Melissa said...

That doesn't sound pleasant at all. You think they would sedate you or something, seems kinda traumatic to be aware and awake during the procedure. But I'm sure YOU'RE totally fine ;)

Julie said...

If you decide you have regrets, email me. I can regale you with tales of my 3 daughters. Who are deep in the throes (that sounds way dirtier than I want) of teenager-y goodness. And by goodness, I mean hell on earth. And then your aching ball regret won't seem so bad.

Felisa said...

That doesn't sound very pleasant at all but in the long run I bet it shouldn't be too bad.

And err.. happy new year! :D

Oh great One said...

I'm sending CCB over here. He has always said he'd do it since I had 2 C sections it was his turn....My youngest will be 6 next month....I don't know when exactly he was planning to do it....

I hope you feel back to normal soon!

Tim said...

p - I have to test my weapon in another month

m - One of my friends told me they gave him xanax beforehand. Would have made the whole thing so much easier.

j - I sometimes look at my kids when they're being good and think I made the wrong decision, then my son climbs on top of a table waving scissors, then falls on his head and I realize I did the right.

f - happy new year to you too!

o - in another month or so I'll probably be a big proponent of it, but right now I wouldn't do the best job of talking him into it.

Genevieve said...

wow, i was just gathering the rss feeds for my fave blogs & i had to stop a moment & read this.

i don't really know what to say beyond this except at least your wife won't have to use birth control anymore! that's always a plus.

Kaian Kakin said...

My goodness... O.O I was clicking the "Next Blog" button, browsing through the blogs of random strangers. I got a chuckle out of your banner, and was rather shocked at the next sentence I happened to read. I hope you feel better, sir. Have a lovely day.

KathyV said...

Bless you for feeling it was your wife's duty to have herself snipped. I personally just had that "Ensure" procedure two days ago and was told I'd be doing cartwheels yesterday...FAR from it! Don't ya wish they would just tell ya the truth??? What a bunch of medical jerks! Anyway, hope your feelin' better soon!

aagkro said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tyson K said...

Just passing through! Wow, thanks for sharing. Glad to know a bit more about it all

http://UGottaHearThis.blogspot.com

JamesD said...

blimey! you're a very very brave man!

Conti said...

They cut off your boner, bro?

marisman said...

Just randomly happened along your blog...had the big V done a few months ago and any regret has disappeared. I had some lingering random pain stuff but it has nearly disappeared. The junk was back to full strength after about 4-5 weeks for me.
I hated having to haul my "sample" into the lab of a busy hospital in an unmarked paper bag. Felt dirty.
I love not having to worry about birth control and for us it has meant more action which is awesome.
I also think keeping my wife off of birth control pills is a huge win as I've felt they cause her a lot of mental issues. This has proven true since she's been off them for over 2 years now. Much better mental stability.

Mistry said...

HA! Sounds like when my hubby has his - only I went in and watched - it was actually really cool! Of course I didn't want him to do it (we have four kids) but he threatened to have my mom come and make me sign the papers, and that scared me into it!

Also - my hubby is a home-brewer as well! Will send him the link to your blog, perhaps you can share secrets. His dad also owns a winery, and we dabble in that too!

Take care!

~ Misty

Ms. Givens said...

My husband has had the same problem.