Monday, January 04, 2010

Snip, Snip

About a month ago I had a vascetomy, so I figure I'd share the delightful experience. After much discussion and hearing a bit too much screaming and crying over the past few years, Kym and I decided we're done with kids. We love the ones we got and we don't need to add anymore madness to our lives. We went to the Dr., watched an awesome 80s film on the topic, and was scheduled for the procedure about two weeks later. Faster than we thought it would be, but we felt ready to make the step.

The appointment comes and I'm called back to the room. I was given the option to have Kym come in with me, but I declined, knowing she'd put some last minute thoughts in my head and I wouldn't get it done. So, I strip my pants off and lie totally uncomfortably back on the table. I hear some activity, then, whoa, the nurse is rubbing me down with some sanitary stuff. She then very carefully encases my nutsack in four pieces of operating paper stuff and tells me to not touch anything down there and walks out of the room. I'm left there for at least 10-15 minutes, unable to put my arms below my waist and regretting everything about the experience. Then the doc comes in and does his thing. There was a small pinch, then about 20 minutes of uncomfortable tugging and utter and complete awkwardness.

I go home, put ice on my balls, and look up stories of vascetomey regret on the internet. After a few days the hardcore pain went away, as did the regret. I'm now 4 weeks post procedure and I still don't feel 100%. I've talked to several people who were back to normal in a few days, but I've got lingering random pain in the nuts. It's annoying, but I'm told it will eventually go away. My superpowers will return to me before long.