Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I should be on the Maury Show or something

Last monday I got on the scale in my bathroom and it read 187.5. Tuesday after lunch I got sick and not a single piece of food entered my mouth until Thursday morning. And that came right back out. I still hadn't gotten my full appetite back when I felt good enough to go to the gym on Sunday. I ran 7 miles (nice!) and got on the scale. I weighed 178.5. I lost 9 pounds last week just by being sick then not eating much then exercising. 9 pounds! Do you realize how much weight that is?!? Here's some other things that weigh 9 pounds. Imagine dropping one of these out of your body:
- A bowling ball (one of those gay pink ones)
- A gallon of milk (plus a .38 pound weight)
- 1632 post-1982 pennies
- A big ass 9 pound baby.
- Two normal 4.5 pound twin babies
- 9 - 1 pound premature nintuplet babies.

So, basically I gave birth to 9 babies last week. And I'm up and running around this week!!! Some moms are such wimps.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. That kind of weight loss is, technially, not healthy.

2. I've been in that situation many times. It was mostly water loss from all the pooing and not replacing fluids. You'll get it all back in the next few days.

Anonymous said...

9 - 1 pound premature nintuplet babies.
Thanks for making me laugh so loud I disturbed the woman with terrible music who sits behind me.

Also, that's so awesome you lost all that weight. Then again, this is coming from someone who admittedly has an eating disorder.

Unknown said...

That's nothing, I once lost 25 pounds in a two week period. Top that sicky.

Tim said...

tf - I certainly was not healthy last week.

??????? - I have more of a drinking disorder than eating.

fm - Did you have three 8.33 pound triplets?

Burfica said...

bite me baby boy, when you can squeeze that 9lb bowling ball our your hole then run those 7 miles then we will talk. hehehehehe

dizzy von damn! said...

i think i ate nine babies this weekend, so we're even.

Anonymous said...

I had a 9 lb 10 oz baby, back in the day. But just the one baby. 9 9-lb 10 oz babies would really suck. That and I wouldn't be able to walk. But I could be on the Maury show WITH you. How cool would that be?

Oh great One said...

The pink balls are gay? I never knew. Luckily CCB's are flesh colored.

Lisa said...

Timophil:

Try running 7 miles after pushing the nine pound baby out of your pee pee hole then having it suck on your teets for six months, brutha.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's like how much my tee-tee weighs. Damn, it's like my tee-tee dropped out of your body...actually that's kind of gross. Forget I typed all that.

In other news, my wife got to see Maury when he showed up at her radio stations a couple weeks ago. Wait, maybe it was Montel. Yeah, I think it was him. Now that I think about it he was here for some kind of Black History thing downtown at the 16th St. Baptist Church, site of bombings and murders during the civil rights movement.

Okay, this was like the stupidest comment ever. Sorry.

Alekx said...

I don't think I can top what Burfica said so yah bite her or whatever she said

Paul said...

I once weighed 149 pounds, then ran 32 kilometers then I weighed 141 when I was done. That's 8 pounds in 3 hours. It wasn't long before I was back to 149 though.

BeechballBeatsCancer said...

Im jealous, I wanna lose 9 pounds - waaahhh!