I wish...

When presented with the question "If you could have a conversation with anyone in history, who would it be?" I was always very selfish. I don't like history. I don't care about George Washington or Alexander Hamilton (no offense Leezer). I wouldn't want to break bread with Jesse Owens or Jesse James. If I could talk to anyone, I've always wanted to talk to myself. I wish 32 year-old Tim could talk to 5 year old Tim just to see what I was like. To see what kind of kid I was.

But now my answer is different. If I could talk to anyone it would be 15 or 25 year-old Kenslee. I would have a million questions. Am I a good dad? What could I do better? Where did I mess up and how can I fix it when the time comes? Are you happy? Are you a well-adjusted non-anti-social person unlike your dad? How beautiful are you? Do you still hate hair clips? Do you still hold a fork in one hand then eat with your fingers of the other hand? Do you still love jumping? What about Elmo? Do you still watch him everyday?

I really wish I could fast forward and see then come back and continue to enjoy everyday.

Sick again

I'm not sure if it's bronchitis, or a sinus infection or what. I just know somethings wrong with my ears because I watched a couple minutes of American Idol tonight and everyone sounded like shit. It's got to be my ears, right?

Why I'm done with Howard Stern in the morning

Steve-O "Yeah dude, so I'm married now."
Howard Stern: "What do you mean you're married?"
Steve-O: "I got down on one knee and proposed to her in front of her grandmom. That's married to me."
Howard: "Oh, so you aren't officially married?"
Steve-O: "Na dude, Fuck That."

KENSLEE: "Fuck dat!"
ME: "What?!"
KENSLEE: "Fuck dat!"
Me: "Uhh... no honey, we don't say that."

Probably my gayest post ever

So, in the history of American Idol, I've liked two songs that have come out of it. Since U Been Gone and that one by the country chick about keying a car. Now ,it's three. Josiah Leming's To Run. Even though the kid didn't actually make the show, I think he's probably the best guy artist that's ever been on it. Seriously, except for the Australian guy, every dude on there this year blows. Here's that song I like and to up the gay factor I found a version that someone put to clips of Hannah Montana.

(1000-912)/((30.5*8)+8)

I was just trying to plan out a situation where my 1000th post occurs on my 4 year blogging anniversary. But, I think based on my equation I'll need to post 76 times a day. I never have been any good at math. Or blogging.

A long time ago I dated a girl who's mom sent her a valentines day card. On the inside her mom Freudianly wrote "Happy VD Day!"

So, Happy VD Day to you all!

The best spam I've gotten in a while

Dear Friend,

My name is Mr Donald Young in South Africa our client died Three years ago leaving behind Capital amount (US$14.6M) in our bank here where i work ,I am his account manager ,till date nobody has come forward or put application for the claim.During the bank private search for the relative recently your name and email contact was among the findings that matches the same surname as the deceases who died interstate with no Will or next of kin with our bank record.To maintain the level of security required I have intentionally left out the final details. I want you to come forward since I can provide you with the details needed for us to claim the Funds so that I can be gratify by you,I and my colleague that will do all the crucial part in the bank to have the claim release to you promptly.

To affirm your willingness and cooperation please do so by replying me at my private email stating your mind and also on how we should share the funds and also send your private telephone number to us or call me if you can.

I do expect your prompt response.

Thank you,

Mr Donald Young.

Email:donayyoun101@yahoo.com.hk



Most spam I get these days is just a bunch of porn words put together in random order. This guy really has his grammar down pat. Plus, he did call me friend, so he must know me, right? I feel I have to send him my phone number now.

For Reals This Time

It's a...