heh heh. He said...

In a few weeks I'm will have been with my company for 8 years. Everyday people come up to me and ask me questions and I often know the answers off the top of my head. When they walk away I think about how odd/pathetic/cool it is that I have all of this information in my head. But what's even cooler is when I get to say things like "Scrotum" and "Vagina" in a purely business sense.

Punta Canans must be sneaky

So, we're back from vacation and not happy about it. The weather was in the 80s and sunny everyday and returning to highs of 37 is not desirable. We enjoyed a lot of relaxing by the pool and on the beach. The only interesting story of the long weekend was when someone spiked my wife's drink. Or at least that's what must have happened. It definitely was not the 12 drinks she had consumed. The night was just like every other night there... dinner, followed by me kicking her ass in scrabble, followed by the resort's boring theatric show, followed by more drinks, followed by the karaoke bar, followed by the disco. The disco is surely where someone spiked her drink. They probably had some sort of special drug that makes you dance when you never normally dance, and the drug must have had some special powers over the spikee's husband to let her drag him out on the dance floor too. At around 2:30am the dancing part of the drug started to wear off and I knew better to get her back to the room before someone, besides me, took advantage of her in this drunken sabotaged state. Within 2 seconds of entering our room she was passed out. For about 10 minutes before getting up annnd... relieving herself of the contents of her stomach as I held her hair. We then returned to bed where I was happy to stay with her in bed and protect her from further attacks until around 2pm the next afternoon.



Irish coffees hours before the incident. Definitey NOT part of the problem.


Toughing it out the next night.

It's just not worth it

189 - Weight on Dec 31st (after a night of drinking beer and eating wings)
49 - Days since then
45 - Total "workouts" since then
22 - times I've run
86 - miles I've run
10 - times I've lifted
13 - times I've done pushups (since Jan 15)
1489 - total pushups
1500ish - total situps
183 - today's weight
6 - pounds lost

Is all that worth 6 pounds? I don't think so. Could I have run a few more miles? yes. Could I have lifted a few more times? yes. Could I have eaten less pizza and wings and burriitos? no. Could I have drank less than a keg of beer? debatable.

I'm starting to believe this whole exercise thing is a scam. Or maybe I should just finally cut my hair to lose that last 5 pounds.

Tainted Love

Three years ago I made 12 of the most ridiculously stupid Valentines day cards for my wife. And not only did I give her all these cheesy non-traditional cards, but I gave her the utlra-cheesy, ultra-traditional "bear holding a heart" (because ofa joke on The Office maybe? I don't remember). At the time I wish I sat back and decided to giver her one every year until the year 2018 instead of all 12 at once. Because now I have nothing. I've had nothing for the past two years either.

Next Thursday we're going to Punta Cana, so we agreed to get each other something small vacation related for V-Day. So, I'm thinking I'll get her sand in my bathing suit. Or maybe sunburn can be bottled? I know the mosquitos there have malaria, so I wonder if I could get her one of those? I'm open to other romantic suggestions.