Monday, May 11, 2009

Free Shit

On Thursday after 40 days and 40 nights of rain we finally got a break in the weather and I was able to mow the lawn. As I was mowing it, I grew more and more angry at my non-English speaking neighbor. He got a delivery of mulch in his driveway and it was the shittiest smelling mulch I've ever been a witness to. Add that to the fact that the grass I was cutting was about 7 feet high, and it was not a happy night for me. As I was finishing up my front lawn he started approaching me. We've lived there for 4 years and he's never crossed the street. I felt a fight coming on. He must have sensed my anger. I stopped my mower and prepared for some sort of ninja attack. He made a strange motion and said something I didn't understand. I got in the karate kid crane position when I realized he was offering me his mulch. "too much, too much" he said. I relaxed and spent the next hour wheeling mulch from his house to mine. I couldn't pass up free shit.

8 comments:

❉ pixie ❉ said...

This had me cracking up!

Oh great One said...

Ha! It was awful when it wasn't yours!

Kym said...

p - well, thank you very much!

o - yeah... it's still pretty awful sitting in my backyard, but i see it as high quality now that it's mine.

Felisa said...

Free shit's awesome. Wheeling shit from one place to another? Not so much.

Tim said...

f - yeah... I thought it may have been a little much to have him wheel it over for me.

p+o - that was me, not kym

Genevieve said...

LOL awesome! i think we could all use some free shit in our lives.

Melissa said...

You must be really close to your neighbor for him to give you his shit. That's a relationship that takes time and nurturing.

Matt said...

Hes up tp something dude. Beware.

Who gives out free mulch? Seriously? Hes trying to butter you up for something.