Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

Last night I was lying in bed and looked at the clock. It was 12:34. “Make a wish!” I said to myself. I can’t remember what I wished for but I realized something. I love my wife to death, but if I ever met Heidi Klum I totally could have married her. I was watching tv and flipped on an old episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. It was the supermodel edition. Heidi had brought her husband with her for support. This is what that atrocity looked like:





And, of course, we all know this is what she’s currently married to:





I could have bagged a supermodel. Dammit.