Monday, June 25, 2007

Not like me

Tonight when I was out for a run... well first of all, I know I'm not exactly cutting edge with this, but I downloaded The Fratelli's album last night and put it on while I ran and it's awesome. Great running music. Anyway, I was running and there were a bunch of kids playing in my neighborhood and it got me thinking of how I really hope my kids aren't like me. Not so much now... I'm an ok guy now (minus the wife beating, alcoholism, and drug habit). But, I was a real dick when I was a kid. My friends and I used to steal beer off people's porches, we used to destroy public property for no reason, we used to just be all around dicks. I'm scared my kids are going to grow up to be assholes. Maybe I'll just keep them locked in the basement. Yeah, I think that will work.

10 comments:

Christina said...

Not to be completely sexist, but the fact that Kenslee is a girl makes her slightly less likely to do those things. If she's anything like me, she'll avoid destruction of public property and spend most of her time figuring out how to sneak out of her bedroom at night and fighting with her mother. Which leaves you in the clear. Mazel tov!

Chuck said...

Military School. That's what you needed Tim my friend, and that's what you'll have to do with your kids when the time comes, and you know it will. Either that, or just send 'em on down here to Alabammy and let old Uncle Chuck put 'em to work a-choppin' cotton.

Laurie said...

I agree with Christina. You may want to avoid having a boy child though. Just saying.

Funqi said...

Who keeps beer on their porch?

Melissavina said...

I love the Fratellis and I think they are the BEST workout/housekeeping music ever.

Good call.

And if I ever have kids, I'm going to keep them on a tight leash for fear that they'll be hellions like I was.

Melissa said...

Just sedate them, duh.

Think Frustrated said...

People in your neighborhood kept beer on their porches? We used to go into open garages and steal beer, pop, etc. I once got caught. The guy chased me in his car for a mile (I was on a bike, carrying a 30 pack of Busch Light). When he finally stopped me, he told me that he saw me going into his garage and was going to shoot me for tresspassing. I convinced him not to call the cops, and that I'd take the beer back if he'd just forget the whole thing (how I didn't go into sales, I'll never know). He put my bike in his trunk and said he was going to hold it so I didn't take off again. Then, I had to walk the mile back to his house carrying this beer, hoping no police saw me and wondered why a 15 year old kid was carrying a case of beer down the street. Finally, I made it there, and he takes my bike out of his trunk and tosses it on the ground and says if I ever come back, he'll shoot me. Funny thing is that a friend of mine used to hang out with his daughter, so that night, I convinced her to let me take the beer again. Then, I put it all in his pool. I was an asshole, too.

Think Frustrated said...

Oh, and aren't the Fratelli's the iPod commercial band? They're going to be like Jet, who got really popular after one of their good songs got featured in an iPod commercial.

PS: I have a daughter, too. I'm not worried about her stealing beer, I'm worried about her having sex with assholes who steal beer out of garages and get her drunk. I'm going to lock her up until she graduates college (via correspondence).

Leezer said...

Timathon:
Everyone was a dick when they were younger. If they weren't, then they grow up to be dicks in my opinion because they didn't get it out of their systems.

My husband did the same kind of crap. Once he and his friends shot out a window of some neighbors who were on vacation and once inside the house, they didn't do anything except eat all the Pop Tarts. At least you got some beer out the dea.

Good times.

Cruel Shoes said...

Like many people here, I am wondering about that neighborhood you grew up in. Beer on the porch? Now that's just a thousand shades of awesome. Kids need beer they find on porches. Guaranteed if I had that in my 'hood I'd be a cooler, more happenin' broad today.