Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Voting System is Flawed!

I just got back from voting. It took an hour. There were three lines. One for people who's last name's begin with the letters A-G. People like Bill Asshole and Bob Dickhead. There was no one in that line. The third line was people named S-Z. People like Mary Shithead and Susie Wanker. There was no one in that line. My line H-R, had about 400 people. But, because of the books and whatever, no one could switch lines so you had to just wait.

So, I think we need to come up with a new way of voting in 2012 when Lindsay Lohan is running for President. Here's what I think will work better:

1. Online Voting. Just vote online. I'm sure hackers have other things to do with their time than worry about messing with a web site like this.
2. Email Voting. You just email your vote in. But you have to pinky swear to not send more than one email.
3. Show of Hands Voting. Everyone in your state gathers in one place and you raise your hand for whoever you want.
4. Wet T-Shit Contest-esque Voting. Everyone cheers as loud as they can for whoever they want to win. Then the winner does a booty dance.

12 comments:

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Seems reasonable.

Oh great One said...

wait a whole 4 minutes to get into the booth. FOUR MINUTES!

Melissa said...

Why can't they just vie for it on TV and we call in our vote or something? I hate leaving my tv...

Tim said...

p - I certainly think so

0 - The few people who's names begin with S-Z that showed up were complaining because they stood in the other line for 5 minutes before being told they could go ahead. bastards.

m - fabulous idea. Except, they'd have to be doing something fun on tv like magic tricks or juggling.

Min said...

Can you please elaborate some more on the 'Wet T-Shit' voting?? What is 'wet t-shit' anyway?

Think Frustrated said...

Sarah Palin in a wet t-shirt contest = count me in.

Hillary Clinton in a wet t-shirt contest = I think I just pooed in my mouth. (Seriously, poo.)

K said...

Dude, Susie Wanker is SUCH a Beyotch!!!

Naynayfazz said...

When I went to vote there was 4 people in there. It pays to go at night. Anyway, I like your ideas. O'Donnell in 2012, perhaps? Wet t-shirts and all!

Tim said...

m - damn you and your reading every word!

t - but I'm sure the backup dancers Bill would provide would make up for that.

k - I heard Susie Wanker heard "pulling levers" and got excited to pull someone's lever.

n- I should get implants now so they settle in time.

Naynayfazz said...

HA HA HA HA

Amanda said...

haha WORD!

The voting system is total shit. Oh, and the whole electoral vote theory is retarded. I hate it. I think it should be whoever wins the most states, wins. Period.

You are hilarious.

Genevieve said...

LOL, lindsey lohan. somehow i wouldn't be surprised.

i had a bit of a trail but that was because i forgot to re- register with my new last name after getting married. they still let me vote, though!