Tuesday, October 31, 2006

It's like crack, only more delicious

As recently as two weeks ago I didn't like pesto. I'm not sure what turned me off, but if I saw something with pesto on it, it may as well have been topped with pigeon shit. Or even worse, guacamole. Both are green, and both look a little bit like diarrhea. I don't like to eat green things, and I only eat my shit whole.

Then, when I was on vacation in August someone made their own guacamole. Out of respect I tried it, and it tasted a little bit like nothing. So, I learned to deal with guacamole. Nowadays, when I get a quesadilla and they ask me if I want guac on the side, I say yes. I don't actually eat it, but it can touch my plate, and I feel like the Mexican guy behind the counter respects me a little bit more than that douchebag behind me who doesn't get it.

Fast forward to last Tuesday. Tuesdays are my wife's night to go bowling. She goes straight from work and gets home around 7:30 or 8. So, it's up to me to get the baby fed and ready for bed, and to make dinner for Kym and I. I don't know how single parents do it, because this is no easy task. Most nights I make something easy that can just be thrown in the oven when Kym gets home. Last week I wanted something different. I decided I would make chicken sandwiches. I tried to pick a flavor that we both like, and that was Italian. I have no idea if pesto is even Italian, but for some reason I decided that I'd put pesto on them. And, of course, I made the greatest chicken sandwich of all time.

The downfall to making the greatest sandwich of all time is that I've become addicted to pesto now. Last night we had beef stew and I found myself wondering if it would taste good with pesto. In the middle of the night the baby wakes up and I bring her downstairs to have a bottle. As I get the bottle out of the fridge, I see the pesto looking at me through the corner of my eye. I can feel that it wants me as bad as I want it. I get angry at Daylight savings time because 4:00am is not an appropriate time to eat pesto. 5:00am, yes, but 4:00am is just absurd.

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I think I just feel guilty because I just had another chicken sandwich with pesto. I'm so ashamed. Tell me you'll still love me when I'm turning tricks on the streets for a bite of some four cheese pesto ravioli.

19 comments:

❉ pixie ❉ said...

I know your post is really about pesto, but I LOVE guacamole. You just have to find a good recipe. Your chicken sandwich sounds super good and nothing says you can't boil some noodles at 4 a.m. and throw some pesto on top. Mmmmm...basil, olive oil and pine nuts...

Tim said...

quac looks like it should be super flavorful, but it's really not.

TinaPoPo said...

I love both pesto and guacamole. I don't think either look like poop.

Tootsie Rolls look like poop, though, so keep that in mind when you're rooting through Kenslee's Halloween candy tonight.

ambs77 said...

ha ha! i laughed out loud when i read this post. pesto IS yummy! and so is guac (which can be very flavorful!).

now i'm hungry.

Beebers said...

definitely a chicken!

although that baby is so freaking cute you could put her in a little bathroom sized garbage bag and she'd be cute.

oh uh. now you're going to put her in a bathroom sized garbage bag.

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Yep, what ambs said. You just haven't had the right guacamole (like mine). If it doesn't have onions, tomatoes, cilantro, and a bit of salt—well, then it's just avocados.

Leezer said...

Timophil:
Pixie is right. You can't just mash up avacados and call in guacamole. You need red onion, limes, maybe some lemon, cilantro, maybe some tomato, maybe some garlic. Just expirament. Oh, and I hate pesto. I just hayayayayayyate it.

Kenslee should definitely be the chicken as an homage to your new love - the chicken sandwich with pesto. Don't put pesto on the baby though.

Lulu said...

I was going to go get myself some lunch.

Now I think I'll just have a tub of pesto. Thanks.

Beechball * said...

I don't think I have ever had a pesto that tastes good but I have faith in it and still eat it whenever I can. Guacamole, on the other hand, I tried for the first time (besides the guacalmole doritos of course) and loved it after about 3 bites! I think it's all about who makes it, don't stop trying! By the way, this same obsession happened with me and Frank's Red Hot - hot sauce. It is soo yummy! I put it on everything I can! Anywho, good luck with your addiction, nerd ;)

Brookelina said...

Now you must make your very own pesto, and not eat that store bought crap. Then you will truly know the full deliciousness of the pesto.

Melissa said...

The thing that makes guac really good is adding cumin.Pico is good too but you NEED the cumin.As for pesto, I'll send you a walnut pesto recipe I have. You have to change it up a bit, kind of like how coke-heads slowly switch to crack.You need variety.

Lux Lisbon said...

I just started eating Guacamole anout a year ago. I freaking love it. My ass, on the other hand, isn't to happy about it.

Tim said...

tpp - do you change many diapers? Cause I've seen a lot of guacamole looking poops in the past 5 months

ambs - thanks!

beebers - funny, I was commenting an almost identical comment as this yesterday when you posted this.

pix+vof - the only guac I get on a regular basis is at QDoba. Maybe homemade is better.

lulu - mmm! sounds awesome!

lb - I go through hot sauce periods. In the summer when I make chicken on the grill I ususally add hot sauce. Then, for some reason, I don't use it when it gets too cold to grill.

brook - thats the thing with all this. We planted about 40 basil stalks this summer thinking most wouldn't take. Well, they all did, so we had about 9 pounds of basil, and we didn't do anything with it. If only my obsession started earlier.

mel - teeheehee. you said cumin.

ll - my ass doesn't like most of the stuff I eat.

Steven Novak said...

The guy behind hte counter doesn't respect you anymore for taking the guacamole and not eating. In fact, he hates you more because he had to make that shit, and not have you touch it.

You wasted his time. ;)

Steve~

Softball Slut said...

I call guac baby poop. And I refuse to try it. It's looks gross and tastes gross.

And what did you dress the baby as?

Conti said...

I'm the same way! Once I even through some pesto into my toothpaste. It was an enjoyable way to get my pearly smile clean.

Oh great One said...

Good for you trying something new!

Do you know how to tell if a cow has been eating mexican food?

It has guacamole under it's tail!

Oh great One said...

Which costume did you choose?

Lux Lisbon said...

Thanks for the correction. Cute baby!