About twice a month we have vendors set up in the lobby or the cafeteria selling stuff. There's a rotation between a dude selling cd's, a chick selling stuffed animals, and a chick selling books. They rotate and come every 3rd month, but there is one steady vendor here every month. Some dude selling his Nuts. He actually calls them his Nut'z. For those of you that don't have Nut'z you probably think the same way I did at first... there's only like 3 kinds of nuts: peanuts, cashews, and almonds. How's he going to make any money selling that crap? Well, you'd be wrong. How ignorant of you to think like that.
He sets up and before long, people flock. I think people in thier cubes have a spidey-sense that the Nut'z are here. It's like pigs to slop, like flies to shit, like pedophiles to a Dateline sting. People go Nut'z (tee-heehee!). I'm not sure if people actually buy the Nuts, or they just pretend to be interested for the perks. The perks being free samples. "They get one peanut, one cashew and one almond... how great can that be?", I hear you ignorants thinking. Well, much to the shock of the non-Nutty informed community there's tons of varietys of Nuts.
When I saw him in the lobby today I knew I had to express to you, my faithful dozen readers, just how amazing the variety is. So, I decided for the first time ever, I'd grab a free sample or two. Or three, or four, or seventy-one. Yes, there are seventy-one varieties. My plan was simple. Walk down the line, act interested, grab a nut, pretend to put it in my mouth, then with a magician-like slight of hand, put the nut in my pocket. I'd do this over and over until I had 71 nuts in my pocket. (tee-heehee!) I'd go back to my desk, empty the booty onto my desk, and take a picture to show the world my nuts.
But, I chickened out.