Wednesday, January 24, 2007

The Saddest Day in History

Franklin passed away yesterday. A mere 9 days into his life and he was taken by shaken baby syndrome. I first sent him to the brink of disaster while running last week. I had him clipped to my shorts and he stopped breathing. I found a way to resuscitate him on apple's website. He was down for a few hours so I knew that he would have some sort of brain damage. I hoped he would turn out kinda like Rain Man. A little odd, but oh so sharp and cute when standing next to Tom Cruise. Unfortunately he turned out more like that retarded magician Penn. Or is it Teller that's retarded? Oh, I don't know. Anyway, yesterday he did it again. I was in the middle of a nice long run and he went into convulsions. I did that chest shocker thing I saw on ER once and quickly came back to life. I finished my run and warmed down. Eventually I stopped. Franklin did not stop. No matter what I did Franklin would not stop. For the third time in 9 days, and the 2nd yesterday, I tried to Flatline him and bring him back to life like that guy on 24 did to Julia Roberts before he started eating terrorists. Franklin flatlined, but he never came back to life. When I gave him mouth to mouth, he only gave me a sad face and went back to death. Sad, I cried a little and went through all our fun times in my head. Like the one time I put music on him. Or the other time I listened to music on him. And then the time when I put pictures on him. God, there were so many great times. I'm trying to not remember the bad times. Like when he brought home a transvestite prostitute named Shelia. (The 'S' was silent). Franklin, I will surely miss you.

Luckily Franklin was still under warranty and I picked up a new ipod today at lunch. I think I'll call him Franklin II.

11 comments:

Melissa said...

I'll make sure to pour out some liquor for Franklin. Da Lil Melizzle will be sad to learn her one true love has gone away. R.I.P Franklin, we hardly knew ye.

Tim said...

You'll pour some liquor down your throat you drunk! You don't care about Franklin!!

TinaBellina said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Will there be a service? Will you be holding shiva?

❉ pixie ❉ said...

I think you should call him Nilknarf (the anti-Franklin).

Think Frustrated said...

Respect the memory of Franklin. Name the new one "Frunklyn." It's kind of "hood." He can be ghetto.

Leezer said...

Timophil:
Oh I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a good thing you took out that life insurance policy on him - wait a durn minute - you upped the life insurance policy right before he "myteriously" died, didn't you? COINCIDENCE? You said it was an ACCIDENT, but weren't you seen the day before running with a ZUNE?

P.S. I'm with TF. Don't call him Franklin. Call him Jeff.

Egan said...

Franklin was a true pioneer.

Oh great One said...

I'm sorry for your loss. You know what they say, you gotta get back up on the horse.. Wait. I don't know if that really applies here. Carry on.

TinaBellina said...

I like Pixie's idea, but only b/c I happen to call my real-life (non-electronic) friend Franklin Nilknarf.

ジェネヴィーヴ said...

Lol, that made me laugh pretty hard. Thanks for that; I needed a laugh.

I've had my iPod a few weeks and the only thing it did was start skipping yesterday. I'm not sure how that happened but it did. Maybe I pressed some buttons by accident....

Softball Slut said...

I dont think I would name him Franklin. Didnt work so well for the first one now did it.