Thursday, May 03, 2007

My Lazy Initiative has me trying something new.

I was mugged last night. I was at my boyfriend Michael's house watching Heroes. Michael offered me a ride, but I decided to walk home. I stopped at AWOL for about 10 minutes, then walked to Broad street. I thought a well-lit, highly trafficed area would be safer.

Near the corner of Broad and Parson's three men in their early twenties approached me. One asked for a light for his cigarette. I gave it to them. Then he told me that they had a gun and were going to shoot me if I didn't give them my bag and my wallet. I didn't see a gun, but have always been told not to take chances. I handed the stuff over. Then they told me to "run, faggot, or we'll shoot you." So I did.

I went back to AWOL and called the cops. I've already filed a police report.

They got my bag and my wallet.

In my bag:

Cell Phone.
Cell Phone charger.
Fancy pens.
Two books.
Notebook with all my research for the BTW main ritual.
Condoms (cause I'm a good homo, I am.)
The receipt for my cell phone, with which I was going to get the $60 mail-in rebate.
My checkbook.

In my wallet:

A 15 dollar wal-mart gift card.
About 35 dollars in cash.
My brand-new driver's liscense.
My COSI credit card.
My COSI work ID

I wasn't hurt, though. I've gotta remember that.

I was able to give the cops a good description of the muggers. The cops were friendly but not hopeful.

Yesterday was a crap day.

All my phone numbers and contact informations were in the phone and bag. So, if you're someone I routinely talk to, please email me at my work address to let me know your contact info.


Tim said...

As you may, or may not be able to tell I didn't write this. L.I. (Lazy Initative) requires me to cut back on thinking, so I'm just going to take other people's posts and post them as my own. Please respond as if I really did write this. Thank you for your cooperation.

miss kendra said...

tim! are you ok? i can't believe this!

man, i never thought a hate crime would happen to someone i know.

i hope michael's taking good care of you.

Melissa said...

I can't believe they took your fancy pens!! Muggers can be so cruel. The good thing is that you're okay and that you didn't have any of your special Aveda hair product in your bag cause losing that hair product would have been tragic. That and you dying.

Tim said...

MK - Awful, isn't it? Michael has been keeping me strong through this whole thing.

M - The pens were SO fancy! They had pretty colors and one of them wrote in invisible ink!!

ジェネヴィーヴ said...


Ok. -gathers composure-

Oh no! You poor boy! I hope you're alright!

Good for you for carrying condoms! Good boy! Stay safe!

I'm soooo glad you got your journal back, too. I'd DIE without mine. What would I do if everyone could read my inner- most thoughts? Oh golly; it scares me to think about it!

Oh great One said...

That sucks that you lost your receipt. Those rebates are hard enough to get as it is, but without your receipt impossible. It sounds like those muggers hosed you twice.

I'm glad you are ok!

Think Frustrated said...

They probably called you a homo becuase you carry a purse.

naynayfazz said...

Was it a coach purse? Was it insured? Can Michael buy you a new one?

Sorry to hear this Tim. I hope you get your purse, condoms and your dignity back.

Leezer said...

Did you have any Chanel lipstick in your purse, cause that would suck donkey dicks.

Cookie said...

How horrible! I hope your journal doesn't end up on Ebay.

Mad Ethel said...

They took the Wal-mart card?! Asses. I hope they die.

filmgoerjuan said...

Dude, if your wife catches you with condoms, she's totally going to figure out that you're sleeping around with someone.

I'm glad to hear that they didn't shoot you, though.

Paul said...

Ha! I knew you were gay.

Laurie said...

dear god man. you are a weird chap.

Christina said...

This was brilliant. Confusing, but brilliant nonetheless.