What should I do this weekend? I’m thinking I should drink.

A word from our sponsors.

I’m shocked at the response to yesterday’s HNT. I’m actually a little disappointed. Sean, Conti, other guys, I expected you to call me a homo. Because really, that was very gay.

Just for Joo

OK, so Julie got mad at me for not blogging enough, so I’m just going to write some crap and it won’t be interesting. I like quality over quantity, but Julie doesn’t care what I think. Did you know tit is in quantity? Also, I figured out on her blog the other day, that the word intimidate is In Tim I Date. Since I’m married now that word has been changed to intimimarry. Julie intimimarried me into writing this.

Other words my name is found in: Time. Timid. Timber.

I just took a bathroom break to try to think of more, but all I could come up with was Quantum. Spelled wrong. Quantim.

In the song Better Man, I swear the first time in the song he says “She lies and says she’s in love with him..” he says Tim instead of him. I SWEAR!

With a broken camera, I don’t know what I should post for HNT, if anything. A close up of Titso’s ring we took right after we got engaged? Pics of me dancing in my underwear the night on my honeymoon I got so drunk and laughed so hard I puked? I may have to scrounge my PC for other pics.

Happy Julie??

Detailed reviews of everything going on in my life right now

Sirius Satellite Radio. Good.

Jack Johnson cd. Pretty good.

Philles. Suck

Eagles. We’ll see.

Marriage. Fairly good.

Fall Softball. Ehhh.

Poker. I suck.

Bowling league. Cool.

My Fair Brady. AWESOME!

Shape up or ship out

Jesus! I almost posted my second retarded post of the day. Thank God I deleted it!

A fun day for all

Yesterday was Titso and I’s one month anniversary. We decided to do something special, so we took a trip around the world. It was a little tough fitting it all into one day, but it was worth it.

My camera is on the fritz and I was only able to snap this one picture before it died on me. This was on our flight from New Guinea to Zimbabwe. Sorry I only have one picture, but I think it pretty much encapsulates our whole trip. Here!

Aurthur Fonzerelli Van DeCamp

I’m sorry to report that Desperate Housewives Jumped the Shark last night. In just the 1st episode of the second season, it’s already flipped sides like Anakin. I think every single scene was absurd. That stuff just doesn’t happen. I won’t go through the ridiculousness of it all, but I will focus on one thing. The token black family. When they were house hunting, did they put a special request into their realtor for a torture chamber in the basement? Come on now. That totally turned me off to the show. And I will of course be watching next week.

I bet it’s Fonzi locked up in the basement. And Bree will end up marrying him.

Boring

I can't top yesterday's post, so I'll post this. Queen of Pink did it today. I got it in an email last friday and did it then, so I'll just post it now.


1. First name? Timothy John O'Donnell
2. Were you named after anyone? My aunt Sharon
3. Do you wish on stars? Stars wish on me
4. When did you last cry? Right now
5. Do you like your handwriting? Who writes anymore?
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? I like to meat at Panera usually
7. What is your birth date? tomorrow bitches (last week)
8. What is your most favorite album/CD? Menudo
9. Favorite Jewelry not counting wedding/engagement ring and why? my cock ring
10. Do you have a journal? yes
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? NO!
12. What are your nicknames? Pedro
13. Would you bungee jump? ummmm..
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I only wear velcros
15. Do you think that you are strong? have you seen my guns?
16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? potato chip
17. Shoe Size? huge
18. Red or pink? pink
19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? my friends
20. What do you like most? my handsomeness
21. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back? no
22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? flesh
23. What are you listening to right now? printers
24. Last thing you ate? crayons
25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? the color of my stomach
26. What is the weather like right now? i don't know
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? don't use em
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? nipples
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? no
30. Favorite Drink? gasoline (for you conti!)
31. Favorite Sport? baddmitten
32. Hair Color? grey
33. Eye Color? grey
34. Do you wear contacts? grey ones
35. Favorite Food? dinner
36. Last Movie You Watched? homemade pron
37. Favorite Day of the Year? saturdays
38. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? by happy ending you mean hand jobs?
39. Summer or winter? spring
40. Hugs Or Kisses? hummers
41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? edible undies
42. Who is Most Likely To Respond? you
43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? you
44. What Books Are You Reading? the torah
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? my mouse
46. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? the screen
47. Favorite Smells? buttcrack
48. Favorite Sounds? farts
49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? beatles ate our roses
50. What's the farthest you've been from home? jersey
51. Who sent this to you? no clue

Celebration Day!!!

When I woke up this morning I knew today was going to be a good day. Today's no work day! All day of playing volleyball and playing around! My favorite pair of underwear was clean too!



When I walked into work, I got laid. How fun!


I logged onto my laptop and started what I do every morning when I log on. Blogging! Look at how much I'm enjoying all your blogs!


MMMM,MMMMM! Drinking my coffee and reading some blogs!



And then this completely unfortunate series of events happened....


AAANNNDD.... this is me driving home to change my shorts...

My only piece of jewlery

My camera's broken, so all I have are pics from the honeymoon. And since I posted a picture of my ass last week, I thought I'd spare everyone this week.

This is my hand and the Isle of Capri.

FUUUUUCK!

Lost didn't tivo. I want to cry.

Let's play a drinking game!

Everyone has to list 3 things they've never done. I'll go first.

I Never plucked an eyebrow
I Never rode an ostrich
I Never signed the Declaration of Independence


ok, your turn.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Whoever wrote that song was full of shit. How can freezing cold December be better than right now? NFL season’s in full swing. Baseball playoff races and the Phillies are actually in it. Fucking Lost starts tomorrow. The new Survivor is awesome. Desperate Housewives starts Sunday. New Family Guys are on. I just creamed my pants.

My work could beat up your work

My boss sent everyone in our group a mandatory meeting invite for Thursday from 8am-5pm. The meeting was sent to block out our calendars so we do no work all day. Our IT department was voted in the top 50 IT departments to work at in the country so we’re having a party. All day we have to play volleyball, have limbo contests and watch people embarrass the fuck out of themselves doing karaoke. There’s also raffles to give out LCD tv’s, IPods, and amex gift certificates. And of course we still have our daily hookers.

Siriusly

I just picked up a satellite radio titso gave me as a b-day present. I'm going to listen the shit out of it.

My weekend through very short and choppy sentences.

Friday: Saw 40 Year old Virgin. Good shit.

Saturday: Whiffleball tournament at 11am. Lost 1st game at 11:30am. Lost second game at 12:30. Played poker. Lost. Went home to a “surprise” birthday party. It was fun. Drank for 14 straight hours.

Sunday: Woke up. Could not move. Drugged myself up. Went to Eagles game. Went to wedding. Redeeming factor about wedding: Steak and Lobster.

Monday: Still hurting.

Yah!

Go say congrats to Future Ex. And help her come up with a new name.

One down, 50 to go.

I think I just made out with the first guy on my making out with everyone quest. I wonder if he has a blog.

Today is the birthday of two managers in my group. With tomorrow being mine too, we were all taken out for lunch. At the end the waitresses did that gay clapping singing crap and brought the three of us ice cream. I ate most of mine and couldn’t finish it. I offered it up and the guy sitting next to me ate it. With my spoon. I’m pretty sure that’s the same as an open mouth kiss.

Thank F'ing God@!

The slowness of loading blogger pages in my IE was pushing me to the brink of quitting. So, I loaded firefox on my laptop and it's working like a charm. Granted, I'll probably get fired for loading things onto my laptop I'm not supposed to, but it's worth it right now.

Is it just me?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the blogs I read. (At least 2 minutes worth of thinking.) And I determined that I find it easier to become a new reader of a girl’s blog than a guy’s. I looked at all the blogs I link to and 39 are hot chicks compared to only 11 funny guys. And it’s not that I haven’t stumbled on other funny guys, I just don’t follow up with my reading duties with them. I think I have a subconscious idea boiling in my brain that one day I’m going to be forced to make out with every blogger I link to and I’m not looking forward to kissing all those dudes.

Some people aren't as cool and smart as me. As us.

As you may or may not know, I’m an Eagles season ticket holder. My dad started getting tickets when Veteran’s stadium was built in 1970. I’ve only missed about 2 home games in the past 6 years. This Sunday I will be going to see them bounce back after the dirty play of the Falcons last week. I’ll be heading down to tailgate probably around 9 or 10am. Then I will watch the Eagles dismantle the hapless 49ers. Then I’ll be going to a wedding. One of Titso’s friends is getting married on Sunday. A Sunday during football season. What kind of fucking moron gets married on a Sunday during football season?!?! A gay moron, that’s what kind.

PS. I understand that people turned on the word verification thing to prevent spam comments, but why do they make the friggen letters so hard to read?

PPS ever since I got back every blog takes about 2 minutes to load, blogger comments take about 5 minutes to load, and Blogger.com takes about 10 minutes to load. Every other site is fine and it’s only on my laptop. I’m very annoyed.

Krunked!

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18!

I want 18 comments on this post. You can say whatever the hell you want. But I've now had 3 posts in a row with 18 comments, and I want a 4th. Whoever messes it up gets the divorce papers.

My laptop can't walk and chew gum at the same time

Yesterday I was so excited to be back blogging. I missed it. I’m gay. Yesterday I felt like I had 100 things I could have written, but thought I’d save them. Now I forget what they were. I guess whatever it was must not have been important, but everything I write is important, so I don’t know what happened.

My Internet/Blogger blows. I have to shut down IE every two seconds.

I like vacation better than work.

Did you know planes now have individual tv’s? On our way home I watched Mr. And Mrs. Smith (entertaining but bad), Crash (awesome!), Hitch (I hate Will Smith!), Scrubs, Sex in the City. Way over I watched Cheers, Scrubs, Sex in the City, Hotel Rowanda (good, not great) and I think another movie, but I can’t remember.

Bowling league starts tonight. I’m gay. I’m not actually on the team, I’m just Titso’s sub since she’s in Atlanta all week. She’s gay too.

I’m boring.

FUCK!

Fucking Trotter!

Fucking McNabb!

Fucking Eagles!

Fucking You!

So romantic it made me puke

I’ve been trying to think of fun or exciting stories from my honeymoon to tell, but I really don’t have any. (Except when Jim Belushi walked into a restaurant we were at) So, I’ll tell you about the night I puked.

I haven’t puked in over a year I think. And I only puked because I did about 20 shots at my brother’s bachelor party. Well, it was the last night of the tour we did on the honeymoon and I got drunk. I hadn’t been drunk at all because we had to wake up between 6 and 6:45 every morning, so I didn’t drink much. I knew it was the last day, so I polished off a bottle of wine by myself. After a Guinness. Then followed that up with three pints of more beer.

Titso and I were in high spirits and although I don’t remember it, I apparently did a dance for her in my underwear. Photographic evidence has been obtained. We were making each other laugh non-stop. We were trying to have sex but we couldn’t stop laughing and making each other laugh. I laughed so hard I threw up. On her. No, not really on her. Just in my mouth, so I ran to the bathroom. I’m sooo romantic.


P.S. Is my laptop just still on vacation, or is blogger eating ass today?

Honeymoon pics

Don't know if this will work. There's 5 albums if you care to look at them all. I'll post more some time tomorrow, after I got through the billion emails I'm sure to have.

Free Internet!

Our suite in Sorrento has free internet, how sweet! Still doing a lot of walking, but also we're also doing a lot of relaxing. Sorrento is amazingly beautiful, and the view from our hotel room is ridiculous. I'll post pictures next week. don't got much to say. hope you all had good memorial day weekends.

Something cool

Today we watched glass blowing in Venice. That was cool. I love watching things get blown.

In Venice this time

I'll tell you what, you do a lot of fucking walking when you go to Italy. Not my ideal honeymoon. Waking up at 6:45 every morning, not getting drunk because you have to wake up too early, and then walking for 10 hours a day. I've eaten pizza and pasta every meal and I've probably lost 10 pounds because it's non stop walking. my feet are sore, i'm tired of museums and art. i want to lie in bed for the next week. not gonna happen. plus i miss you guys... uh huh...