Friday, October 07, 2005

A nice warm glass of shut the hell up

So, my Katie Holmes/Tom Cruise obsession went away for a while. But it’s back now! Yah For premarital sex! Or premarital test tube babies depending on how you view this unison.

I was very pissed off the other day when they announced she was pregnant because they stole my thunder. I was going to announce I was pregnant that day. At least I think I’m pregnant. That would be the only explanation for the growth of my stomach since marriage.


Then, last night I heard about the Scientologist method of childbirth:

Maintain silence in the presence of birth to save both the sanity of the mother and the child and safeguard the home to which they will go. And the maintaining of silence does not mean a volley of "Sh's," for those make stammerers.

I actually agree with this method of childbirth. I wouldn’t want to see what comes out of this mouth either:



And the post childbirth Scientologist tradition:

Next, the delivery itself should carry as little anaesthetic as possible, be as calm and no-talk as possible and the baby should not be bathed or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so.


Well, I’ve got nothing for that, that’s just retarded.

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