1. Mad Magazine was my favorite when I was little. My brother kept years and years of them. When he stopped buying them I went into the oldest one he had and tore out the order form and got a year subscription. It was so old that instead of the $5 or whatever for a full year it was something like 50 cents. I thought I was going to get arrested for trying to use an old form, but they accepted it. Suckas!
2. In freshman year of high school my friends and I became obsessed with dunking a basketball. We played everyday and worked on it everyday. By Junior year on a good day I could dunk even though I was only about 5 foot 9 at the time. I wasn't good enough to make the high school team, but that's probably a good thing because I ended up with Swimming scholarships in college.
3. But my crowning achievement in sports was a playoff game walkoff homerun in 8th grade. Earlier in the game I had my first strikeout of the year. It was a tie game in extra innings and my coach agreed to call the game because of darkness if we didn't score after my at-bat. I cranked probably my farthest hit ever at the time over the left fielders head. In a hopefully unrelated tragedy, that kid died a few years later from an asthma attack.
4. My main hangout growing up was a church parking lot up the street from my house. We creatively called it "The Parking Lot." We played every sport imaginable there and in the Pee Hole (a walk down basement entrance where we used to pee rather than walk home) the neighborhood floosy showed me her privates. I was probably 7 and don't think I even looked.
5. When I was 12 and just finished 7th grade I got my first girlfriend. She was 15 and going into junior year. When hanging out watching tv she used to put my hand up her shirt. We "dated" for about a month, but we never even kissed. She dumped me for my older brother, then dumped him for his best friend.
6. In about 5th grade a friend of mine was sleeping over. I slept over his house almost every weekend and he finally agreed to sleep at mine. He was a mommas boy. Me and my older brother got in a fight that night and he ended up smashing my head into the concrete basement floor. My friend cried and went home. Me and my brother bonded by laughing about him being a wimp later that night. A little over two year later after my girlfriend dumped me for my brother we got into another big fight which we were blaming on a whiffleball game or something. I was getting bigger than him and it was the first time I actually beat him in a wrestling/fist fight. That was also the last time we got into a fist fight.
7. One thing that really sticks in my head about my parent's relationship from when I was growing up was that my dad used to smack my mom's butt all the time when she was cooking dinner or whatever. Not in a sexual way, just in a casual way. Which is probably why I do that all the time now too.