Last night I took my lovely wife to go see the Broadway production of The Lion King. Well, we went to the Philly version of the Broadway production of The Lion King. Tickets for this thing went on sale last year and I got tickets for Kym for Christmas. So, she's been looking forward to it for 8 months now. On Monday I had a softball playoff game and if I won, the next game was last night, but we suck and we lost, so I got stuck going to see some fruity play. I've only been to one other show in my life: Stomp. It gave me a headache.
The show starts with some lady screaming in African (is African a language?) and the stage fills up with all these slightly disturbing looking people prancing around in extravagant animal outfits singing about some "Circle of Life" or whatever. It was big and beautiful and loud and bright and I thought to myself, "I wonder if Chase Utley got a hit yet."
So, Simba is born and the kid who plays young Simba is actually entertaining and I'm enjoying it. blah, blah, blah, and we met Simba's evil uncle Scar. He's not all that scary, but when he leads Simba to the elephant graveyard with the hyenas, it's actually a little frightening. I'd say about 20% of the audience was kids and I can only image a lot of them were scared. We go through the show and there's a lot of boring scenes, and there's several scary scenes with the two main bad-evil hyenas, and the dopey sidekick hyena, Ed. Fast forward, Scar and hyenas are removed from power, Simba's king, we go home and get our daughter from my parents house after not seeing her for longer than either of us have gone in two months.
We go home, I see Chase Utely got two hits, I go to sleep. And I have nightmares. Nightmares about two evil guys who beat and kill people and have a dopey sidekick, Ed. And they kill Ed and they start chasing me and I wake up and I have to pee and I realize how much of a pussy I am. The End.