So, yesterday I hit Publish and started my no-reading protest. I decided that by not reading I would be protesting the inhumane killing of elephants in Chad, Africa. These innocent elephants are being killed by poachers for their sweet, sexy, delicious, ivory tusks. Upon hitting Publish I saw "Please wait while your..." and I immediately shut my eyes in protest. But, alas, I realized I was too late. And I was sure another Africana elephant just bit the dust because of my heartless act of reading. I can deal with one dead elephant, so I restarted my protest.
Three seconds later I realized I didn't proofread my post. I can't stand embarasing speling mistakes, so I sacrificed a few more dozen elephants as I went back and proofread my post. A few minutes later I realized my plight was worthless as I noticed a comment that I had to read. So, poachers: You win. Go ahead and keep on poaching. Elephants: I'm sorry I couldn't fight harder. But think of it this way: your death means someone is probably getting a really nice ivory bracelet or maybe even a sweet ass ivory chess set. Seems worth it now. Doesn't it? You greedy, self-centered, ivory-hoarding elephants.