Tonight was one of the most entertaining nights of my life for about 2 minutes. I told you all about my getting screwed last night with poker and most of you told me how I should have flipped out more than I did. I knew not to because people warned me that the bar owner would screw me and all thier warnings came true tonight at around 8:45pm est.
I was sitting at our other bar playing poker when my phone rang. I didn't pick it up in time, but I saw it was a number I never saw before. About 10 minutes later my phone rang again and here is just about the most exact conversation that I can remember in my adreneline induced state:
ring...
Tim: "Hello"
prick: "is this Tim?"
Tim: "yeah, this is Tim."
Prick: " This is Prickface from the Prickface's bar... (all future caps are denoted by top of the lungs screaming) FUCK YOU! YOU WANT TO FUCK WITH ME?!? YOU'RE FUCKING WITH THE WRONG PERSON, I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN!!!"
Tim :"Huh? What are you talking about?!?"
Prick: "I'LL KILL YOU!! I'LL COME TO ANYTOWN (town where I live and run Tuesday night poker) RIGHT NOW AND PUNH YOUR FACE IN!!"
Tim:" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!??"
Prick:"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME!!"
Tim: "Well, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!"
Prick: "YOU STOOD OUTSIDE MY BAR LAST NIGHT AND TOLD PEOPLE TO NOT COME IN TO MY BAR!"
Tim:" FUCK YOU, I DID NOTHING! ME AND MY BROTHER TALKED FOR 10 MINUTES ABOUT HOW WE GOT FUCKED OVER THEN WE LEFT!"
Prick: " YOU'RE FUCKING WITH THE WRONG PERSON!! IF YOU EVER STEP FOOT IN MY BAR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"
Tim: "OK, whatever, I'd never step foot in that bar again anyway"
Prick: "IF YOU EVER COME HERE AGAIN I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE IN!!!"
Tim:" Don't worry about it!"
This was about 2-3 minutes of top of the lung screaming about how he was going to kill me or punch my face in. The dude was totally psycho. It shocked me at first then made me laugh. Who goes crazy like that??? He cracked me up.
ok, so if I ever blog again with a punched in face, you'll all know why. This guy is fucking nuts. Crack and cokehead I guess. funny too because if he came to the town I live in to the bar we ran it at tonight to punch my face in I had 15 guys that would have murdered him. In retrospect I really wish he showed up tonight.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Crusty
I just realized I haven't changed my underwear in two days. I wore running shorts to the gym last night and put my underwear back on after a shower. I didn't change them this morning. Thats all for now.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Note to Self:
When extremely pissed off, do not play online poker. It only gets you more pissed.
Well, I got fucked tonight. I wish literally, but I mean figuratively. I walked into the bar to set up for poker and someone was already there setting up. The Not As Cute As She Thinks waitress walked up to me and said, sorry prickface (aka, the owner) said they weren't making any money so they're switching. First of all thats a total fucking lie because the bartender (who's cousin it is that died last week) has told me they make tons of money. Second of all, what kind of fucking asshole just has someone show up to take your place without telling me. (and it's not even the assholes that I wrote were trying to take our place last week.) In a stunned moment all I could say is "Thats total fucking bullshit." and walked out. My brother pulled up and I told him and we stood by his car in shocked silence trying to determine what to do. After 10 minutes NACAST comes out and says "What are you guys doing?" We say "We're just talking about how fucked over we just got." She says "You're not waiting for people to show up to tell them not to go in are you?" We tell her to fuck off and we're just talking about how much bullshit this is. She tells us the owner bought his own stuff and he didn't have our phone numbers. Meanwhile the guy has called me about 6 times in the past. She then drives off (presumably to go get her big boyfriend she breaks up with every week) and two other waitresses come out. One asks "Are you guys loitering?" We tell her to fuck off we're just talking. She warns us not to cause problems. My brother asks her who the fuck she is before she tells us she's the bartender taking my friend's place while he's at the funeral and we finally get in our cars and leave.
We've been coming into that bar for the past 15 weeks building a following getting more and more people, staying later for people to play side games when we don't have to and basically being friends with every person that walks inthere. We were the bartenders and waitresse best fucking friends for the past 15 weeks bringing them more monday night business then they'd have gotten if they were giving free blowjobs. All that and the owner doesn't even give us the common courtesy of a phone call. Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck everybody.
Well, I got fucked tonight. I wish literally, but I mean figuratively. I walked into the bar to set up for poker and someone was already there setting up. The Not As Cute As She Thinks waitress walked up to me and said, sorry prickface (aka, the owner) said they weren't making any money so they're switching. First of all thats a total fucking lie because the bartender (who's cousin it is that died last week) has told me they make tons of money. Second of all, what kind of fucking asshole just has someone show up to take your place without telling me. (and it's not even the assholes that I wrote were trying to take our place last week.) In a stunned moment all I could say is "Thats total fucking bullshit." and walked out. My brother pulled up and I told him and we stood by his car in shocked silence trying to determine what to do. After 10 minutes NACAST comes out and says "What are you guys doing?" We say "We're just talking about how fucked over we just got." She says "You're not waiting for people to show up to tell them not to go in are you?" We tell her to fuck off and we're just talking about how much bullshit this is. She tells us the owner bought his own stuff and he didn't have our phone numbers. Meanwhile the guy has called me about 6 times in the past. She then drives off (presumably to go get her big boyfriend she breaks up with every week) and two other waitresses come out. One asks "Are you guys loitering?" We tell her to fuck off we're just talking. She warns us not to cause problems. My brother asks her who the fuck she is before she tells us she's the bartender taking my friend's place while he's at the funeral and we finally get in our cars and leave.
We've been coming into that bar for the past 15 weeks building a following getting more and more people, staying later for people to play side games when we don't have to and basically being friends with every person that walks inthere. We were the bartenders and waitresse best fucking friends for the past 15 weeks bringing them more monday night business then they'd have gotten if they were giving free blowjobs. All that and the owner doesn't even give us the common courtesy of a phone call. Fuck him. Fuck you. Fuck everybody.
Downer post
Last night I went to a viewing of one of my best friend’s 20 year old cousin. He was out celebrating the end of his semester at college and was at a bar with a friend. When the friend went to the bathroom he left him there and walked home alone. His parents were picking him up Sunday and he was nowhere to be found when they got there. Apparently on his walk home he tried to take a shortcut, fell into a ravine, hit his head on a rock and drown. His body was found on Tuesday morning.
I showed up for the viewing at the same time as my younger brother and we waited the two and a half hours to get to the front of the line together. The line was even longer when we left than when we got there. There had to have been over two thousand people there. I haven’t seen the kid in about 15 years, but from what I’ve heard about him he seems to have been just like my little brother. The one thing that really got to me was the picture of him in his Terrell Owens jersey since my little brother has the same one.
You probably can’t tell from reading my blog, but I’m a ginormous pussy. I’ll surely cry like a little bitch at my wedding and I got really choked up thinking about anything ever happening to my brothers and seeing how his brothers were dealing with it. Life’s too short, have fun, smile, look at porn, look at starburst porn, get laid.
I showed up for the viewing at the same time as my younger brother and we waited the two and a half hours to get to the front of the line together. The line was even longer when we left than when we got there. There had to have been over two thousand people there. I haven’t seen the kid in about 15 years, but from what I’ve heard about him he seems to have been just like my little brother. The one thing that really got to me was the picture of him in his Terrell Owens jersey since my little brother has the same one.
You probably can’t tell from reading my blog, but I’m a ginormous pussy. I’ll surely cry like a little bitch at my wedding and I got really choked up thinking about anything ever happening to my brothers and seeing how his brothers were dealing with it. Life’s too short, have fun, smile, look at porn, look at starburst porn, get laid.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Too many Guinnesseses!
I finally got around to loading all the pictures I took in Ireland. A weird thing happened. I saw things in the pictures I never noticed when I took them. I'm not sure if it's one of those ghost situations or if they were all there and I was just drunk. Take a look for yourself:
(as always all pictures can be clicked on for the full version)
This first picture was the first golf course we played at. When I took the picture I saw nothing. When I loaded it on my PC, it turns out there was a leprachaun following me around the course.
Walking through the town of Killarney later that day I didn't see him... but he was there. And he met a naked woman.
The next day if I would have only turned around, I would have seen them.
This little castle was on one of the courses. I must have stepped right over them.
The tv above the bathtub I told you about? Must see tv.
Finally, a picture in which they didn't appear.
Until I zoomed in on the boat!
(as always all pictures can be clicked on for the full version)
This first picture was the first golf course we played at. When I took the picture I saw nothing. When I loaded it on my PC, it turns out there was a leprachaun following me around the course.
Walking through the town of Killarney later that day I didn't see him... but he was there. And he met a naked woman.
The next day if I would have only turned around, I would have seen them.
This little castle was on one of the courses. I must have stepped right over them.
The tv above the bathtub I told you about? Must see tv.
Finally, a picture in which they didn't appear.
Until I zoomed in on the boat!
Caught in the act
I just clicked to bring up The Superficial when a girl walking by my cube said “Oh, I like that color." I played it dumb, acting like I didn’t know what she meant. She persisted, “That color you just had up on your screen, what was it?” I said “Oh, that was just a website.” She said, “It was pretty, what was it?” I stupidly brought the site up. She panicked saying “What.. that. Uh, jeez” then she walked away as I looked at my screen full of mostly naked girl advertisements. But it is a pretty purple background, isn’t it?
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Yesterday when I went to Sam Goody to pick up the new Weezer cd the really creepy sales dude singled me out in line and said “I see you only have one item, if you want to purchase another I’ll give you 20% off.” Sounded like a pickup line to me, but it worked. I looked around and decided on the Jackson 5 Ultimate Collection. Really, I did. So, I bought it and creepy guy showed me how he took the 20% off and told me “I don’t offer 20% off to everybody you know. But I saw you standing there and thought I’d like to see you smile.” Then he said some other creepy stuff, but I didn’t hear it because I was trying to find the closest exit in case he tried to touch me. I paid and got out of there as quickly as possible and washed the skeeve off me.
So, I’m listening to the cd now. Michael was 12 when they did ABC and I Want You Back and I have to say those songs kick ass. Whatever happened to 12 year old prodigies like him? You know, besides Lil’ Bow Wow.
So, I’m listening to the cd now. Michael was 12 when they did ABC and I Want You Back and I have to say those songs kick ass. Whatever happened to 12 year old prodigies like him? You know, besides Lil’ Bow Wow.
knock knock
For the past two days someone linked my starburst porn on an xbox message board, and on a retro radio message board. But, they're both private message boards I can't get into. Let me in bitches!!
I just got back to my desk after lunch and started working (bloging) when I heard the faint sound of “Oh Mickey what a pity you don’t understand…” I stood up and walked towards a coworker’s desk and sure enough his cube was empty and his headphones were lying there blaring, and I mean BLARING, the 80’s hit Mickey. Apparently my local weatherman is a huge Toni Basil fan.
echo echo echo
The guy in the cube next to me got laid off for “personal reasons” a few weeks ago. The girl in the cube across from me has her last day next week. The other side of me is the printer, so I’m basically going to be all alone next week. I wonder if I smell. I wonder if this will now allow me to take George Costanzaesque naps under my desk. Except in my underwear. I can’t sleep with pants on.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
FYI
I know no one else has probably noticed, but the imageshack hosted pics on what I think was my best blog post ever were all broken. I finally got off my piece of shit lazy ass and rehosted them.
Did you get the memo?
Someone just told titso that I look like a "goody 2 shoes" and I don't look like the kind of guy that would go running around with "flousies". Apparently somebody forgot to tell me it's 1955.
Arrrrr!
Did you ever get a zit in your eye cavity? Not really in your eye cavity, just kinda right below your eyebrow. When you look in the mirror you can't even really see it, but when you're looking at people it feels so big that it feels like you're wearing an eye patch. Ever get one? didja? They suck.
I choose Business Ethics
Last night was our biggest night ever for our poker business. But we also found out a different poker company is trying to take over the bar we run it at. That company starts their events tonight at the bar. That company can suck my dick.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Ireland
Since Chick asked for me to write about my trip, I will, although I will warn you it makes for boring reading. The flights played two movies both ways, Electra and Ocean’s 12 on the way over and Oceans 12 and Little Black Book on the way home. Being that I’m partially gay, Little Black Book was the only movie I watched. Like every good train wreck, it was horrible, but I was glued to to it. I tried Ocean’s 12, but it put me to sleep.
The hotel we stayed in was ridiculous. Three plasma tv’s in our room. One of which rose out of the foot of the bed, another was built into the wall in the bathroom to watch while in the tub, the third above the fire place. One of the guests of the hotel had a private helicopter parked out back to fly to all the courses instead of driving. I hate assholes.
The golf was good. I played well for 3 days, my dad didn’t do so well. We missed a 1st place finish on one of the days by one stroke. Two of the days had steady 30mph winds with 50-60mph gusts. Wasn’t the best golfing weather, but it was Ireland, so it’s what I expected. The courses were amazingly beautiful.
Drinking. Started right after golf everyday and ended between midnight and 3am depending on what was going on. A majority of the people in the Father Son tourney were guys my dad’s age, with their dads. There were two or three guys my age and one guy that was 21 I was hanging with. They were cool, but I missed my brother to hang out with. Guinness is hands down a better beer in Ireland than it is here, but I was drinking Harp and Carlsberg most of the time.
All in all it was a good trip. I enjoyed hanging out with just my dad, but it’s just not the same as taking a family vacation. I took a ton of pictures and will try to get some posted later this week when I’ve got some time at home to load them.
The hotel we stayed in was ridiculous. Three plasma tv’s in our room. One of which rose out of the foot of the bed, another was built into the wall in the bathroom to watch while in the tub, the third above the fire place. One of the guests of the hotel had a private helicopter parked out back to fly to all the courses instead of driving. I hate assholes.
The golf was good. I played well for 3 days, my dad didn’t do so well. We missed a 1st place finish on one of the days by one stroke. Two of the days had steady 30mph winds with 50-60mph gusts. Wasn’t the best golfing weather, but it was Ireland, so it’s what I expected. The courses were amazingly beautiful.
Drinking. Started right after golf everyday and ended between midnight and 3am depending on what was going on. A majority of the people in the Father Son tourney were guys my dad’s age, with their dads. There were two or three guys my age and one guy that was 21 I was hanging with. They were cool, but I missed my brother to hang out with. Guinness is hands down a better beer in Ireland than it is here, but I was drinking Harp and Carlsberg most of the time.
All in all it was a good trip. I enjoyed hanging out with just my dad, but it’s just not the same as taking a family vacation. I took a ton of pictures and will try to get some posted later this week when I’ve got some time at home to load them.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Bloggin from Ireland
I'm such a loser. But, I can't sleep and the internet is free, so whatdaya expect me to do at 3am? I'm having trouble adjusting to the time, I've done nothing but sleep for the past 24 hours, and it feels great to just sleep, but sleeping on planes and buses ain't comfy. I got nothing to say, I'm just bored. I wish the pubs were still open. I wonder if they allow porn on this computer... only one way to find out... see ya later.
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