Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Fun at Work?!??!

Today we got an email in which we are actually being encouraged to use our creativity! And with a chance to win $50. It's like Christmas! Well, it's nothing like Christmas, but I don't hate work right now. Here's the deal:

We are being split up into 7 teams of 13 people each. We are being put on a imaginary planes which are running out of gas in the middle of the atlantic ocean. There's 1 parachute with a raft and life preserver in each plane. 1 person from each plane will be saved. We have 1 minute to explain why we should be the one to get the parachute. The winner from each plane gets $25, the grand winner gets $50.

I know most of the people in this competition. I know they are boring and will probably use the sympathy family angle. I need to come up with a good angle. We're encouraged to tell the truth, or to lie. I chose to lie. Can anyone give me a good lie? Here's my inital thoughts:

  1. I've never revealed it to anyone at work, but I am the choosen one. I was placed on this earth to save the world from a massive ladybug attack that will be taking place in a month. So, either I die today, or the world dies in a month.
  2. Dammit, I can't think of anything else.

14 comments:

nique said...

you have the lady bug issue as well? it sucks here in spring, they are EVERYWHERE! ewww!!

dude i'll get to thinking on this...i got nuttin so far...

Tim said...

yeah, whenever it suddenly gets really warm there's like a billion ladybugs that hang out right by my front door. I always thought they were fun little bugs growing up, but in the past 2 or 3 years they've become menaces.

nique said...

Menace is right! I want you to know that they are actually asian beetles though. the ladies are getting a bad rap. apparently some fuck nut introduced them to the US and w/ no freaking predator they multiply into the billions with only pesticide as their arch enemy!
i was painting outside last summer and the asian fuckers would land on me and bite me! little bitches hurt too!

have you come up w/ anything for your contest?

Tim said...

fo real? I don't believe you. I think you're lying. They look like ladybugs to me.

And no, I've come up with nothing. I've got 24 hours to come up with a master plan. My coolness is at stake here!

jootastic said...

You should use something like the fact that you know the others are in pain --- everyone else had horrible injuries before the plane went down. You are the only one that is completely uninjured. You, therefore, must be the only one to live.

inconspicuous attack toad said...

you should just explain to them that you are not opposed to violence and do not value human life. explain to them that they can choose you, or they can choose themselves. either way...you're the one getting the hell out of that plane.

if they don't believe you...you grab that parachute and you fly like an eagle.

nique said...

dude! i'm fo real!

check it out!http://ohioline.osu.edu/hse-fact/1030.html

Tim said...

good plan toad! I'll threaten to throw my coworkers out of the plane one by one until they just hand over the parachute.

Either that or I'll just tell them if they don't pick me I'll make thier final 20 minutes the worst 20 of thier lives. By making them watch me dance or listen to me sing or something.

Tim said...

HA! Nique, you expect me to believe something from ohio state university??

is it just me? said...

You are the only one on the plane that knows where the override device is and unless they save you, all the nuclear plants in the US will blow up the country...oh wait that was from last week's episode of 24.

inconspicuous attack toad said...

singing and dancing could be a double edged sword though...only reinforcing their decision to let you plummet head on into your combustible fiery death at 500 mph.

you wanna see pics of scary bugs that want to take over the world? forget lady bugs...take a gander at these horrifying creatures... http://www.potatobugs.com/

Tim said...

Jen, thisi s avery 24ish scenario. Maybe for tomorrow I'll dye my hair blond and change my name to kiefer.

eww. I can't beleive someone started a website for those bugs and is trying to sell merchandise.

Paul said...

They're probably trying to get you to 'think outside the box'.

Does the person who gets the parachute get the raft and life-preserver as well? If it's an imaginary airplane, is it an imaginary parachute as well? Just imagine that there are 13 parachutes, then everyone wins! Or just lie and say that you have an extremely rare blood-type, and that by not being saved, you're essentially killing hundreds of people who'd need your blood to live. Sacrificing 12 so you can live to save hundreds is well worth it from a human life point-of-view.

Burfica said...

I can't imagine hating a ladybug attack as much as the blister beatle migration we had here a couple years ago. I hate those fuckers. ewwwwwww

I think you should strip down naked and while everyone is distracted/blinded by your bright shiny/hairy arse then you grab the parachute and jump. hehehehe