A while back my brother used to have a Christmas party every year. Or more accurately, a keg party a few days before Christmas. His best friend had a female roommate who would come to these. She was smokin' hot. About 4 years ago she was at the party and early in the night we were flirting from across the room. Being that I’m a big pussy, I just sat there and watched guy after guy unsuccessfully hit on her. Eventually I got the balls, started talking to her and in at the end of the night offered her a ride home. I offered the ride, but let her know my car was a mile away so we had to walk there first. She was more than willing to make the journey, so I was pretty sure I was gonna score. I drove her home, one thing led to another and we were in her bed necking, kissing, and doing some heavy petting. At about 5:30am she looked at me and said, “What are you thinking right now?” A combination of tiredness, alcohol, and horniness made me foolishly blurt out what I was actually thinking, “Are your boobs real? Because you’re so skinny and they’re so big and firm.” Ten minutes later she was on her sofa reading and I was driving home.
Moral of the Story: She was a bitch.
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