Today Madison’s favorite son wrote about the first time he masturbated, so I tried to remember mine. I really can’t. All I can remember is I used to try to program myself to wake up in the middle of wet dreams. I think my first time ever was when I woke up just before the wet dream and finished it myself.
But anyway, I do remember a funny story about raging boners as an 11 year old. I was at a friend’s house at the beach for the weekend and we were bored. His brother was about 13 and was into getting drunk by then (yes we started early) and he suggested we play quarters. But since his parents were around we couldn’t drink alcohol, so when someone made a shot they could pick someone else to either down a Big Gulp of water, or a shot glass which was half water and half iced tea mix. We played for about a half hour and in that half hour I drank about 4 shots of the sugary mix and 5 Big Gulps of water.
For some reason the large amount of water pressed oddly against my 11 year old abdomen and gave me a boner I couldn’t get rid of. We were done playing and I had to piss like you couldn’t believe. I knew I couldn’t piss with my ‘situation’ so I tried to wait it out. It only got worse. After about 10 minutes I probably could have cut glass with it. Plus I was seconds away from pissing myself. So, I gave in and ran to the bathroom. I tried to push it down to aim at the toilet, but it resisted. So I decided to be a girl and sit down to pee. The relief of going practically caused an orgasm, but the boner never ceased. After my 5 minute piss, I stood up and stood right in a puddle. I don’t know how, but I didn’t realize that I was pointed right between the bowl and the seat. I emptied 5 big gulps of piss on the bathroom floor.
I did my best to mop it up with the napkins and tissue paper in the bathroom, but I never was invited back to the beach house.