Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Too hot to handle

If I were a mannequin I’d try to bang a Victoria’s Secret mannequin. I was in the store tonight and those stiffs are hot! While Titso was in line I snuck off and tried to take a chance. I know I’m getting married this summer, but the grass is always greener, right? So I first walked up to the oriental mannequin in the black thong.

“Hi I’m Tim,” I started with, “do you come here often?”


“So, I’m a computer programmer,” I bragged. “Sometimes I complain about my eyes hurting from staring at a computer all day, but I can’t imagine the pain you must be in from posing in the same position for 24 hours a day. How about me and you sneak out of here and I give you a foot massage.”


I know girls always accept foot massages, so I deducted she only speaks Japanese. I pretended someone was calling my cell to look important and I walked away. Over to the slutty redheaded mannequin in the sexy school teacher glasses and white nightie.

I pulled out my A material: “I know they say ‘Guys don’t make passes at girls with glasses’, but I can tell you’re near sighted because I can see that you sight me near you tomorrow morning. What do you think?”


So I presumed she doesn’t like joking around so I got straight to the point. “So, does the carpet match the drapes?”


The mannequins at Victoria’s Secret may be hot, but they’re total snobs.

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