Friday, March 17, 2006

The Truths dot com

I was once choked so bad my eyes bled. I was about 3 or 4 years old. My bedroom was on the third floor of our house and it was freezing up there in the winter. We used to sleep with sleeping bags on top of our comforters and my sleeping bag still had that string on it used to tie it when you rolled it. I woke not able to breath and tried to go tell my parents. I was young and scared and didn’t notice the string was wrapped around my neck so I was dragging the sleeping bag behind me as I tried to walk. I got to the steps and couldn’t go any farther and was choking/trying to scream and my brother woke up. My nose and eyes were bleeding by the time my parents got to me. The only thing I remember about the incident was standing at the top of the stairs trying to scream when my brother woke up.

I’ve never gotten stitches below the neck. Just in my head.

I spent three weeks in a neck brace from diving in a pool when I was 13. I dove off the diving board and as soon as I hit the water I couldn’t move my neck. I sprained it and spent a few weeks in a neck brace.

I’ve never broken a bone below the waist. I’ve broken my arm twice and wrist once. Bruised ribs, sprained ankles, but never broken a leg foot or ankle.

I broke an arm when it was run over by a kid on a bike. As much as I wish the Red Rover story was true it’s not. I think people may have picked this one if I specified I broke an arm when I tripped over a whiffleball which was attached to a string which was attached to a kid’s bike who then rode over my arm. For some reason we thought it would be a fun game to tie a whiffleball to a string and tie the string to the back of the bike and the object of the game was to kick the whiffleball as someone rode the bike around. You know those movies where someone sets a trap in the woods where if you step in it, it grabs your leg and throws you up in the tree? The kind of thing that would never happen in real life? Well, that pretty much happened to me. The string wrapped around my ankle and I was immediately upended as he was turning around and I’m not really sure if my arm broke when it hit the ground or when he ran over it.

I’ve had Chlymadia.

Half of my toenails have fallen off. Two and a half years ago I ran the Philadelphia marathon. I never ran more than 5 miles before deciding to train for that. My feet didn’t do too well. A few toenails fell off in training. A few fell off after the race. They all grew back.


TinaPoPo said...

Wow. I thought for sure you made up the thing about the eyeball bleeding. I never even knew that could happen. And I'm an ophthalmologist.

TinaPoPo said...

And a pathological liar.

Chuck said...

Here I thought my being gang raped that time I was in prison was bad....

fuzzymuffin said...

The eyes bleeding thing is cool. I bet you made up this whole post just do you could tell everyone

Queen Of Pink said...

Is Chlymadia somewhere in same neighborhood as Chlamydia? If so, that's some scary shit.

Glad you identified the real ones, because if all that shit had happened to you? That would be scary. Not that the eyeball bleeding isn't scary enough. Bleck. I hate eyeball stuff.

The Pink Kitty said...

Wow, I was right about the toenails and the Chlymadia. I feel special. Actually, I remembered the Chlymadia story from back then. Good ol swimming stories.

Hah! Tim, I almost typed way back when I was one of your few devoted readers. Can I start saying things like, "Yeah? Well! I liked Tim before he got popular!" ;)

Happy St. Patty's Day!

❉ pixie ❉ said...

Glad you posted a link to the Chlamydia story. You aren't so dirty now that I know it was in your eye from your "goggles".

Tim said...

tpp - maybe my parents lied to me about it. They didn't take me to the hospital, so that tells you something. I'm not sure what though.

chuck - if you made a list of good times, I'm sure that would be on there.

sarah - yeah, pretty much

qop - bite me. Word didn't have any suggestions for me and I'm too lazy to find the real spelling

pk - statcounter tells me I'm losing popularity. That whore.

pixie - nah, I'm still dirty.

TinaPoPo said...


Ah, ya gotta love the Irish. Did they give you whiskey?

Candace said...

Chinese Fortune Cookie say: Beware of Strings!