Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Ever heard this before?

I may have told this before, but I don't care. Bite Me.

I was a swimmer in college. And as in most sports and all fraternities, the freshman go through some sort of hazing/initiation process. When I was a freshman, every freshman got “ridden”. This took place after practice in the locker room. All the upper classmen stayed in the showers until a particular freshman was getting dressed. Then the upperclassmen started a slow clap. The clap built in volume and speed until they were frantic. Several people would grab the freshman while one particularly perverted upperclassman dragged his ball sack across the freshman’s face. I was the only freshman out of 7 my year that did not get ridden. My initiation was a much more public embarrassment.

It happened as practice was ending on a Monday afternoon. On Mondays the guy’s team swam before the girl’s. As we were warming down, the girls team was poolside stretching before their practice. I was swimming along when there were suddenly about 6 or 7 upperclassmen on top of me. Ripping my suit off me. I struggled to keep it on, but 1 against 7 doesn’t go too well. One upperclassman (not surprisingly, the “ridder” from the other initiation) took my suit and put it on the high dive. Oh, and our school had one of the best diving facilities in the area, so along with our diving team, there were about 6 age group divers practicing, and all the age group’s parents were sitting around watching. So, I’m in the main pool, naked, and my suit is on the high dive. I’m thinking to myself, “Fuck, what do I do?” When suddenly half of the girls team dives in the pool to start their practice. In a panic, I jumped out of the main pool and into the diving pool. After uproarious laugher from the whole guy’s team and the girl’s team who hadn’t yet started, I decided to say screw it. I got out of the pool, naked, walked up the ladder to the high dive, got my suit and jumped in the pool as about 45 people stared, pointed, and laughed at my shrinkage.

I later found out the proper protocol of this particular initiation is to just stay in the pool until someone gets the suit. Oh well, fuck it.

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