If you ever met me in non-internet person, you might be surprised at how quiet and shy I am (considering how post happy and comment whorey I can be here). Working with my fiancé, and 3 days away from the wedding, I get talked to more now than ever before. Usually people know to just ignore me, but at least 15 times a day now I get, “So, are you nervous?” I give the same answer every time, “I hate being the center of attention, so I’m not looking forward to that, but no, I’m not nervous.”
Well, yesterday when I shut down my computer, I stood up to walk out, and I thought to myself “OK, two more days of work, then I’m off to get married.” And my stomach dropped into my uterus.
Me, all my friends, my family, and a few cousins are golfing the morning of my wedding. I have a feeling I’m going to get hit in the face with an errant ball. (no sexual jokes please) (nah, go ahead). I feel like I’m going to pull my back out and I’ll have to be wheeled down the isle. The limo is going to be late. I have to check into the hotel and pick a bridesmaids husband up there… I’m going to be late. I’m going to get a ginormous zit on my face. The band is going to suck. I’m going to cry during my vows. Or laugh. I’m not going to sleep the night before. People aren’t going to have fun. No one will dance. One of my crazy relatives will make a scene. I’m going to pass out during the ceremony. Or puke. I’m not even going to get started about the first dance. The food is going to suck. The bartenders will suck. God no, not bad bartenders, please.
OR, maybe everything will be fine and I just need to get laid. Seven weeks sans sex should not be attempted by anyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment