I just want to complain about all the people that complained about the opening sequence to Monday Night Football this week in which Nicolette Sheridan was wearing a towel which she dropped to reveal her back. You people need to chill the hell out. It was a towel. It was a back. We all have them. Every single day I take a shower (except on the weekends, who showers on those??) and never once has my girlfriend or cat complained when I left the bathroom in my towel. One time I even dropped my towel by accident and, while offended, TITSO and snaggle tooth still didn’t complain.
Chairman of the FCC, Michael Powell, went on some show yesterday and said he was “disappointed”, and he “wondered if Walt Disney would be proud.” Well Mr Powell, you want to know what I was “disappointed” in? I was disappointed that Becky White said “no” when I asked her to be my girlfriend at recess in 2nd grade. I was really disappointed in that. But do you see me going on some show to complain? No, not once. Unless you count that time I started that pirate radio station out of my dorm room in college called “WBWH: The Becky White hate station.” And don’t even get me started on Walt Disney. The subliminal messages that are in his movies are what led to my crack and porn addictions at the age of 11. It was either his movies or Becky White. That slut.
A dollar to whoever can name where the title of this post came from.