Go ahead, stare if you want

I’m not sure if it’s pride, or because I’m self conscious, but I SWEAR people always look at my crotch. I’ll walk past someone, give them a head nod or a hello and inevitably their eyes fall upon my package. Most of the time I’m bewildered and check for zippers, but today I understand. When I slipped my pants on this morning I realized I had put on my pants with no button. I was too lazy and hungover to change them (note: I had no alcohol last night, but woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck). So, I threw on my t-shirt and left the house. I didn’t realize until I stopped at Panera for a bagel that my t shirt didn’t fully cover the unbuttoned pants. So, I made my way to work and to my desk covering up as best I could and went to work (aka., blogging). A few hours later I went to the bathroom and noticed I had spilled melted butter on my crotch. So, I’ve been walking around all day with my pants undone and a stain on my crotch. I’m so classy.