I was over at the Ass Chronicles today and for some reason Cate’s post reminded me of a true story I thought I’d share.
Two summers ago I was leaving a softball game when I witnessed the most fucked up act of nature I’ve ever experienced first hand. The softball field we play at has a little lake with a stream that flows into it. There’s always ducks and annoying Canadian geese in it (fuckin Canadians!) Anyway, on this particular night as we were walking over the bridge over the stream a duck flew and landed in the water and it was being chased by about 4 other ducks. I thought nothing of it. I just thought they were playing Duck, Duck, Goose. (I am pained by that bad joke.) But things turned nasty pretty quickly. The 4 ducks chasing were suddenly raping the other. Three of the ducks would hold the one’s wings down while the fourth took her from behind (or him, depending on if it was a homosexual rape or a heterosexual rape.) About 4 or 5 of us kinda stood there in awe, not knowing what to do. The ducks were taking turns banging this other duck. It would struggle free and then they’d get a hold of her and switch up. It went on for a good 3 or 4 minutes before the raped duck got free enough to fly away. That incident goes down with 9/11 and the space shuttle disasters as things that will be burned into my memory forever.