Exactly 4 weeks from today I’ll be sitting on a beach in Punta Cana. Exactly 4 weeks from today will be Valentines Day. Exactly 4 weeks from today I’ll still be thinking about what to get my girlfriend for Valentines Day. Anyway, from what I’ve heard, no one speaks English where we’re going so we have been advised to learn some Spanish. Thanks to the good folks at Corona, I know that cerveza means beer. While most of my needs are covered by this, I figure in order to not look like an American asshole, I should speak some more. Unfortunately, I haven’t spoken Spanish since my junior year of high school. The only thing I remember from Spanish class is the first sentence I ever spoke in Spanish, “Tengo una cita con Anita.” But unless I meet a girl named Anita and we go out on a date, that’s not going to do me much good. So, I’m asking for help. I need to learn some key phrases/questions in espanol. Can anyone tell me how to say the following in Spanish? (Or even French or some other language just so I can look like I'm trying.)
What is the monkey in my bathroom’s name?
Where can I score some illegal magazines?
How does my ass look in these pants?
Was that David Lee Roth I just saw?
Where do I register for the cock fighting?
Are you a man or a woman?
Mi gusta your help. Merci.