Kidnappers demand $3 million for MLB player's mom
People still kidnap for money?? That’s so 1980’s. I’ll never understand the laziness behind that.
Kidnapper 1:”Dude, we ran out of milk again. It’s your turn to buy it.”
Kidnapper 2:”Dude, I bought the salami last week.”
K1: “Dude, that salami sucked. You bought the cheap stuff.”
K2: “Dude, I can’t afford the good stuff.”
K1: “Maybe you should get a better job, or look for coupons, or sign up for the Acme card to get discounts.”
K2: “Nah, maybe I’ll just steal someone’s mom and demand money for her return.”
K1: “Good idea.”
K2: “I was thinking about a baseball players mom. That way I could demand like a billion dollars and I'd be able to afford the good shit.”
K1: “Dude, you’re such an idiot, they’ll pay no more than $3 mil.”
K2: ”True dat.”
*Apparently kidnappers use the word "dude" alot.